American Girls: Ugg Boots VS High Heels

So I was chilling, Custom Suited Down recently in a certain up-market part of Southern California that I spend a lot of time in when I am back on the Nacirema turf.

I was with one of my droogs from way back when we were flipping Beans, talking biz and trading war stories at a pretty dope lunch spot that is pretty hipstered out (but keep in mind this is Southern California so it is kind of pseudo-hipster).

The owner, some top-flight glam hipster cat who everyone thinks is so cool (and unbelievably girls like the guy, or maybe not so “unbelievably” in this day and age) came over to greet us.

He is a fan.

My friend and I are trying to talk dollars and sense and I got skippy in a fedora yapping in my ear asking me where I have been this year and on and on.

When I finally brushed him off so he could go make yogurt double lattes with extra whipped cream, or whatever the hell hipsters drink, my friend, who is a certified International Playboy just like me said, “Typical stay at home American. Minimal passports stamps, that guy. Probably does the Maui-Las Vegas-Cabo triangle and thinks he is making moves…”

I said, “Yeah, just like those cats that move some ounces and think they are causing a crimewave…” before I noticed something that was making me edgy for the last 10 minutes…

Every goddamn girl sitting outside of this “trendy, up-market, hipster joint” are wearing Ugg Boots.

I almost flipped my lid. (I think it is because I have been sparring again. F*ck Halloween. I have been turning into a Monster. I had to spark up a cigarette to calm down.)

This Ugg Boot stuff really has to stop.

Look. I have heard the excuses from Americant girls.

“High-Heels just aren’t comfortable during the day…”

Bullsh*t.

In Riga, Latvia, girls wear high heels on cobblestones. In wintertime.

And I have heard girls say:

“I just can’t move around in high heels…”

Bullsh*t again.

I know an Exotic Dancer that can do this Bruce Lee Move on the stage in High Heels:

So let’s put this to rest once and for all.

Let’s do a comparison.

Which is better?

Ugg Boots?

Or High Heels?

Any questions?

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Photo

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life

http://www.thegmanifesto.com

2PAC – To Live and Die in L.A

Hipsters VS Douchebags: A Modern Day Mods VS Rockers

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Anyone who has been doing battle in Nightworld over the last decade has noticed there are two main groups are out there: Hipsters and Douchebags.

I try not to give these guys much thought, but being an active participant in Nightworld, I have these guys constantly messing up my visuals while I am swooping fly girls.

These fleeting thoughts usually contain an Acetylene Torch, Duct-tape, and bolt cutters.

I just cannot comprehend how the American male has slid so far. Think about it. Guys actually wear glitter on their shirts (Douchebags). And Guys actually wear super tight jeans (Hipsters).

If you are keeping score, it is certainly a sign that The Apocalypse is coming.

Anyways, I finally figured out (kind of) what it is all about.

Hipsters and Douchebags are a Modern Day Mods and Rockers. (Keep in mind, the Mods and Rockers were way doper than the Hipsters and Douchebags)

Back in the day, “The Rockers considered Mods to be weedy, effeminate snobs, and Mods saw Rockers as out of touch, oafish and grubby.” Source

The great part about the Mods VS Rockers was that the constantly brawled each other. Hipsters and Douchebags don’t really seem to cross paths.

Somehow we need to get Hipsters and Douchebags going head to head (so to speak) and eliminate each other.

Come to think of it, Ill get to work on that.

(Once it breaks out, the smart money is on The Douchebags.)

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In The Beatles’ 1964 film A Hard Day’s Night, a reporter asks Ringo Starr, “Are you a mod or a rocker?”, to which he replies, “No, I’m a mocker.”

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life

http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Since I have no idea what Hipsters and Douchebags listen to:

Rocker Music: Gene Vincent – Rip It Up 1958

Mod Music: Small Faces, Itchycoo Park

To end this on a positive note: