Guest Manifesto: 12 Tips on “Dating” Russian Models

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High Heels and Dirty Deals

I’m lushin Russian women, via satellite I’m watchin
I dare a n-gga say he want to battle me, I’ll crush ya
Even blind girls rush next to Hammera and scream out
“Oh my gosh, get the camera
~ Slick Rick (w/Rae), Frozen

These Russian Models (FTV, FYI) are mad, mad fly and I’ve been running into them (so to speak) more and more on the international scene. The distinguishing feature about Russian women is they are women in every inch. They dress for men, they expect gentlemen to be gentlemen, and they don’t take any bullshit. Unlike other haute couture model types, these enigmatic girls have a unique modus operadi that I dig. Or maybe it’s the sinister accent. Maybe it’s the ice cold attitude.

So cold I need theraflu,
I’m so high I need parachutes,
I’m error proof, I’m never spooked,
and my suit, heaven blue.

Let me share with you some personal maxims I live by when swooping these krutay dorogaya’s… check the technique so you can come correct:

• You have to have G appeal. Scratch that, you have to be G… 24/7

• Always be a polite and well-mannered G. Real Russian women dislike men being rude and ill-bred.

• You are intimidated by nothing. Fearless. (Russian woman do not tolerate weesh suckas.)

• Illicit substances are a bonus.

• Thick bankrolls & pockets stuffed like Thanksgiving; ability to flash cash like Coltrane brass, but not sweatin’ it like trendsetting it. (side note: don’t count $$ in front of them — cream on the inside, clean on the outside.)

• Grits. Keep it pugilistic (or ballistic, in the case of my .38 snubby), ie. Must be able to kick-ass in a fight, because with girls this fly it’s gonna go down (frequently) with douchebags attempting to cramp your style.

• You have to be able to drink like a man, as in, you have to be able drink more vodka than a Russian Grizzly bear (and still be able to handle yourself). Zapoi.

• Russians, much like the French, have an admiration for outlaws, mafioso types and G’s.

• Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness.

• Stay unpredictable (but thinking of a Master Plan, like Chilly Tee said, gotta keep ahead, gotta keep my head).

• Don’t supplicate (I’m not even sure that word exists in Russian vocabulary).

• Aggressive, yet mellow and cool.

They look at me as that cat that know how to box, know about glocks, know about runnin’ from cops and switchin’ up spots.

High Heels and Dirty Deals

~ Tafari
aka The Poster Boy
aka Fly Fresh to Def
aka Xoroshen Ochen

Click Here for other Posts by Tafari:

Guest Manifesto: Call to Greatness

Guest Manifesto: Pick Up Artists vs. The G

Guest Manifesto: Tax Time

Get out my shit, Please let me be, I don’t see why — you KGB
Why you gotta be all up on me like that, Trying to get over
like a fat rat, but I understand — I’m a woman in the land of hip-hop
And the shit don’t stop, it goes on, on, on, on
You see the shit don’t stop till the break of dawn
And now who makes it liver than a hip-hop, scuba diver, chillin with
a pina colada, kidada hooked me up with Tommy now I gotta
lot of gear from everywhere that I’d like to share (yeah right!)
[MC Lyte]

—
Kukla – Seroga