The South Beach War Report Part I: The Basics
The South Beach War Report Part I: The Basics
Click Here for Models, Murder and Mayhem, The South Beach War Report Part II
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South Beach has never been as corporate as it is today. We all long for the mid and late 90’s when Miami Beach was a wide open model bonanza. Well, life goes on. The reality is that the place is still one of America’s best nightlife cities. And if you aspire to be a Top Playboy you need to spend the majority of your winter there (if you spend your winter in America). If you were not in Miami in February last month, flat out, you blew it. No one, and I repeat no one, has ever taken “The Mack of the Year Award” and not spent considerable time in Miami during February (And I am not talking about being in Miami for Super Bowl weekend with all the jerkoffs…that weekend actually Hurts your “player ranking”…as does All-Star Weekend in Vegas, but that’s another story).
South Beach is ultra competitive. You need to bring you A game. Miami Beach has been countless players “Waterloo”. And I am The Duke of Wellington (which is fitting since I do own a British Passport along with and Irish, a Spanish, and US). Huge defeats have been suffered in South Beach. You know the type of loss, the “I need to go back to (insert B grade city), marry my non-model girlfriend and move to the suburbs” type of defeat. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen the “I saw the most beautiful girls I have ever seen, and I didn’t even get a phone number!” look of defeat on guys faces walking back to their hotel at 4 am. I personally make fools look at defeat like a foot doctor. Regular everyday Guy has no chance in Miami. They are usually finished quicker than it takes an ice cube to melt on Lincoln Road in summertime. Regular Guy doesn’t have the tools, the weapons, the experience, the heart, or the Game. Even capable players meet defeat in South Beach. You will see them outside of clubs trying in vain to gain entrance, “Come on, let me in, I work for William Morris Agency in LA…blah, blah, blah…” “I am with Creative Artist Agency this, Endeavor that…etc”. Even top players get dismantled in South Beach. I remember seeing a Top Tier Los Angeles playboy get completely dissected in South Beach two years ago…he hasn’t been back since and trust me, it wasn’t pretty. I even know a first rate Parisian playboy who was absolutely bullet proof in Paris and Southern France that was made to look like Swiss Cheese in Miami Beach. There is a certain skill set that you must have if you are want success in Miami Beach. And if you are looking for that skill set, well, then you have come to the right place: The G Manifesto. Here is Part I…The Basics:
Always work in a Small Team
This is a rule that applies to a lot of things; setting up a drug dealing firm, a Jewelry Store Heist Crew, or Attacking South Beach. I personally like to work Dolo. More agile. But if you have crew members, make sure they are G Manifesto Certified. Make sure everyone is illmatic and still at it. The kind of G’s that pop the glock, come thru drop the top and take over the block. NO South Beach rookies in your crew. A Miami Beach rookie is about as valuable as a off the rack suit at a Post-Oscars party: worthless. Also, Don’t think that because you have had some success in West Coast beach towns that is going to translate to success in South Beach. If you bring the kind of paper thin Game that you use at West Coast Beach Bars like Sharkeez, Moondoggies, Longboards, and Big Kahuna bar you can expect to get destroyed in South Beach. Washed up like money that’s laundered.
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Speak Spanish
Miami is a city that celebrates Latin Culture and culture as a whole. As it should. If you don’t speak any Spanish, you will come off as an unsophisticated hick. As you should. Most of the most beautiful girls in South Beach speak Spanish. So common sense would dictate that if you want beautiful girls on south beach you should speak Spanish, right? Quatro, tres, dos, uno, you know I throw my weight around like a Sumo….
Be Latin
To take it one step further than speaking Spanish, it is better to be Latin as well. This is tough since you have very little input in what your nationality is. Thankfully I am Half-Irish, Half-Basque Spanish, which works perfectly in South Beach (coincidentally, that is the same combination Che Guevara, G Manifesto Certified Hall of Fame Member, was). But even if I wasn’t the perfect mix that I am, I would probably lie and say I had some Spanish blood of some sort. It’s that important. Being Italian, French, really anything is going to be a hell of a lot better than “I am not sure what my nationality is, I think my father grew up in Indiana”. Miami is the Capital of Latin America.
CASH
You need to have plenty of CASH flow to properly attack south beach. It’s at least twice as expensive as whatever b-grade spot that you come from. Years ago, one of my friends, a top notch West Coast Based G who I have known since our Juvenile Hall days, told me when we were chilling at the Playboy Mansion, that Miami Beach is “a G a day”. Meaning, that you need a thousand dollars a day just to operate there and be IN the Game. I agree with that assessment. I think a Grand a day and you are staying at the right spots eating at the right joints, getting cocktails at the right lobbies, and getting into the right Nightclubs. You are still just IN the Game. I like rolling like a new-school Jon Roberts, caine wholesaler style. I wouldn’t think of venturing out into a beautiful, breezy, tropical South Beach night without $1500 on me. For nothing else for the bankroll factor, since I get pro-bono’d so heavy in South Beach.
Dress Sharp
South Beach is the place where you bust out your best gear (what are you saving it for anyway?) I always make sure I get a handful of new Custom suits before hitting South Beach. This year I had Ozwald Boateng hook me with a few, and I had this old Italian tailor from Napoli hook me with a few, all with my signature Cookie Monster Blue interior (this guy is my secret weapon and I have to keep him confidential…and I don’t mean that crappy lounge called Confidential in Southern California either….). You want to wear gear that hits harder than Albert Pujols and Edison “Pantera” Miranda combined. I will also bring a ski mask in case I need to go shopping. So many fools dress so slack in South Beach that just by dressing razor sharp you can be in the top tier. Bruno Magli, OJ style, but you know I won’t leave the glove…
Smoking
Don’t Smoke? You better learn and learn quickly. Even though the State of Florida passed a non-smoking law similar to California’s draconian laws, smoking in South Beach is non-issue. By the way, I hate “Florida” much the same way I hate “California”. I really have only been to Miami, and have no desire to check out the rest of that miserable state, same goes for California, I only really like a few pockets. California as a whole is generally speaking a waste of decent real estate. Anyway, all the beautiful girls smoke in South Beach. The only girls you are going to turn off by smoking are the girls you want to turn off anyways. I have done an unofficial case study, and 99% of Model girls smoke. And 100% of girls that are cool, at least accept it. So make sure your Dunhill, Dupont or Zippo Lighter is filled with Fluid (and I don’t mean that lounge in Toronto called Fluid either).
This should get you started. More South Beach Maneuvers coming soon. Check back for Part II: Advanced Techniques….till then… The Rest is Up to You……..
Side Note:
I know I am not alone in thinking that Marco Antonio Barrera was jobbed by the judges in his fight with Juan Manuel Marquez. The referee also made a grave error in missing a picture perfect knockdown. Lets hope Vegas gets it together for the Mayweather VS De La Hoya fight….
Click Here for Models, Murder and Mayhem, The South Beach War Report Part II
Click Here to Buy Cocaine Cowboys
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA El Campeón De La Gente
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life
The Guide to Getting More Out of Travel
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)
I hate T-shirts, but Pitbull’s shirt with the ski mask is dope…….Born N Raised…..
26/03/2007 at 5:38 pm Permalink
this is legit
26/03/2007 at 7:00 pm Permalink
Actually that Pitbull shirt es muy malo. No style, kind of dull.
28/03/2007 at 4:45 am Permalink
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA El Campeón Del Gente
Hey G, it should say “EL Campeón De La Gente” , not del gente.
Great report, keep your good job
11/04/2007 at 6:02 pm Permalink
word up some one needed to say what the dilly on how to pick up girls at the beach
17/04/2007 at 5:47 pm Permalink
Washed up like money that’s laundered
18/04/2007 at 7:57 pm Permalink
damn…I swear we’ve dated!
How do I get on the mailing list it says the page no longer exists?
30/04/2007 at 3:25 pm Permalink
Q bola’?
Don’t even dare ruining it for me pal! I am planning to go to Miami first week of June. Gaming to be 110 lbs., getting the fuck out of this suburban shit hole named Connecticut , and I plan to not only get fucked up and relaxed a little bit, but to have so true quality time. And I will not let you mar my dream.
I love Miami well, South Beach… Here is the deal, you sound pompus and irked me a bit, but that’s just life. My five cents: fuck money, and fuck the game. If you aint’t got a confidence that comes from within, from deep deep down there–forget it. You ain’t gonna make it anywhere! Insecurity can never be covered up with money, an Ivy league education, nothing, super model this or that, nada. Yeah, you probably will not get all the pretty hoes. But you know what…There are so many beautiful women that may not be a perfect 10 but you know what, they can be freaky and much sexier than any of them hoes. And dont’t tell me that all you care about is that high roller shit. Well maybe…I don’t know you. Maybe you are Scott Storch or one of them Dade niggaz “cooking” that shit in the microwave medium to dark brown and having all that bull time on your hand … Cuz if you are such a high roller, how else do you find so much time for writing…C’mon chavalete, ya know what I am sayin…Have you been to say Rome, you go for an Espresso right…and you get a fine Italian specimen prepare for you an espresso…The way he does it blows my fucking mind. The fucker is taking orders for a freaking cappuccino as if he owns the whole world and another planet. So, you are confused, is this the owner of this place, the owner of the whole Garibaldi street, what is going on…Total confusion bro….Especially coming from these shit holes named Starbucks where you have a 18 year old pot head messing up your order giving you burning hot Chai with Soy milk garbage in it….That Italian man, damn it, is sexier than any money a guy may have…That confidence, finesse, flare…Wow! I can’t take it! That is something no money can buy. But that is just me…I ain’t one of your models. I am a hot self-made woman driving a reliable Japanese car. But to get back to your point….Money is good. If I had it, I would go to Miami tomorrow, rent a beast car, and go shopping with a little Venezuelan valet carrying my bags at Ball Harbor and checking out my ass in those tight jeans…God damn money is good.
God, I am so glad I wasn’t born in this country. Listen, there ain’t no blue blood women or men who were born here!!!! I can sign this in my red blood. The only blue blood bro is 100% import. You just can’t have an organically grown blue blood in the USA . (Unless you thing Paris Hilton is blue blood) People here are brain washed and subjected to blinders by default unless they go abroad and realize that they were fucked long time ago.
So, don’t be mad. Instead, put a little guide for quality women who may not exactly be models but still want to have a good time in Miami without meeting sleazy men. Like put some names of restaurants/clubs/lounges. Don’t and Dos…stuff like that. What do you say?
30/04/2007 at 3:30 pm Permalink
I was jealous that is why I was upset. I admit. Broke the first rule of a female G–you never admit… As juvenile as it sounds, I have always wanted to be what you call a Female G. Everyone thinks I am one…until they get to know me. Deep inside, I am just too compassionate and nice. You need to be edgy and cold to be a good Female G. I have the world experience, the looks, but miss that cold vibe that is needed for closing the deal.
Anyhow, sorry for harrassing you. I should be studying for finals, instead I am day dreaming. Oh, and most importantly, I fear getting slammed with a felony, getting disbarred….
01/05/2007 at 3:14 pm Permalink
Jajaja
14/05/2007 at 10:34 pm Permalink
G:
Please sign me up to your newsletter. I couldn’t get
the on-site sign-up to work.
I like to read your blog…it reminds me of my
pre-marriage days in NYC. I now read your stuff to
live vicariously.
I wish more young guys would take your advice about
life, then there would be much less complaining about
how “NYC women are all bitches” and “the rich guys get
all the girls”. This is nonsense…the East Coast is
packed with beautiful & classy women available to any
man with confidence and conversational skills.
I especially liked your Budget Game for the
cash-challenged. My only caveat would concern the use
of illegal drugs…the True G requires only Alcohol,
Caffeine, and Tobacco, IMHO. With only a little
practice, one can mix a martini that will render any
kind of pot, ecstasy, acid, Quaalude (do kids still
take those or am I revealing my age?), coke, or heroin
irrelevant.
Even if the harmful side-effects of these drugs may be
hype (they’re not, though), the REAL side-effect is
Jail…which you must protect your junior readers from
at all costs.
So…here is my recipe for a problem-solving 100%
legal martini. Two of these for you (and one for That
Hottie at the Other End of the Bar) will get you where
you need to be, I assure you!
– 2 parts orange or lemon vodka. Almost any brand
will do, because we are going to shake it with…
– 1 part white vermouth. Note the vermouth-heavy 33%
ratio. This makes a sweeter, well-balanced drink.
– Garnish with a twist. Olives and onions have their
place, but also tend to leave an oily slick on the
surface of the drink. The twist is fresher,
brighter, and more alluring to women. Save the
veggies for when you are having steak with your boys.
Now when you mix this at home, you must keep your
metal cocktail shaker, your glasses, and your vodka
(Bombay Sapphire gin is good also, BTW) in the
freezer. Vermouth is kept in the fridge.
Take all your ingredients out and mix and shake as
fast as possible before anything gets warm. If done
right, the friction of the shaking will melt a little
water into your drink, but the sub-zero vodka and
glasses will instantly refreeze it into a very thin
icy sheen on the surface of your cocktails.
Therefore, the first sip you take will be free of any
water whatsoever…a welcome change from what we must
put up with in most bars.
Your guest will have never seen this before and will
know you for a true Lord of the Bar…far above those
clowns who have been pouring her all those
sickly-sweet daiquiris, margharitas with too much salt
and (God forbid) 7&7s.
This is how we did it back when Bubba was President.
Bottoms up and Peace!
-K.
06/06/2007 at 7:18 am Permalink
K,
Thanks for the superb tip for the Martini.
What do you recommend for Rum, which is my favorite alcohol.
Thanks. Best regards.
FD @ Luxury Real Estate in Miami
08/06/2007 at 8:17 pm Permalink
Bravo
29/09/2007 at 11:44 pm Permalink
the t-shirt pitbull is wearing in Born N raised is from a brand called SKEEEM
http://www.skeeem.com
29/09/2007 at 11:45 pm Permalink
the t-shirt pitbull is wearing in Born N raised is from a brand called SKEEEM
http://www.skeeem.com
29/09/2007 at 11:46 pm Permalink
the t-shirt pitbull is wearing in Born N raised is from a brand called SKEEEM
http://www.skeeem.com
01/10/2007 at 5:11 pm Permalink
Thanks JOKAZZ
07/10/2008 at 3:22 pm Permalink
Senor– This is the jivest, most egotistical bunch of Bullshit I have ever had the displeasure of accidentally bumping into. All that you profess to be Golden is precisely what is so fucked up about our country in this day and age– Euro trash acting like they invented every single thing cool in the world. You should have seen Miami in the day when Miami Beach was still the Jewish retirement center of the Universe, pre Marielito ( if you even know who they were) and those of us who were players got up off our asses and actually DID something, usually involving a fast boat and a midnight run to the Bahamas, other than run off at the mouth without ever encountering Danger at any level. I bet your ski mask is used primarily for car jacking little old ladies and then congratulating yourself on what a player you are . You, Sir (and I use the term extremely lightly) are a mouthy wannabe without the cojones to ever really stand up, much less accomplish something that requires thinking about anyone but your own conceited, egotistical self. Get your ass out of the clubs and DO something that doesn’t involve TAKING or ROBBING from someone else–something that gives you gain without laying suffering or hurt on another Human Being. Or are you just a fake tough guy? Other than that I found your comments very humorous and pretty much right on. Reply if you got the sack and I will tell you more, much more
09/04/2009 at 12:18 pm Permalink
Is it possible to setup a ‘blog exchange’ so we can exchange content?
15/04/2009 at 3:04 pm Permalink
Comments are cracking me up.
Eva: you better be hot, because you sure are crazy. I’m thinking Asian, the way you’re twitching back and forth between extremes and not committing fully either way. amirite?
Anonymous “mixologist”: just drink the damn thing in a glass, maybe with a little soda and ice, you queer. Fetishizing liquor does not make you cool, and there is zero moral difference between the poisons we pick, it’s all about how you handle them. “the REAL side-effect is Jail…which you must protect your junior readers from at all costs.” hahaahaha
01/06/2009 at 3:22 pm Permalink
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts.
You have a great Blog!!! I just added you to my Google News Reader.
Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Next month I will go to Paris on Vacations and visit Europe for the first time.
It will be great. Thanks for your advice G Manifesto.
26/10/2009 at 1:08 pm Permalink
Such a wonderful post ! GREAT JOB !!! Best south beach info on the net.
11/11/2009 at 8:26 pm Permalink
Quit smoking please.
06/12/2009 at 6:56 pm Permalink
Good blog …thanks for your interests… you can listen to my music, and also download free tracks
26/12/2009 at 3:52 pm Permalink
Nice blog and some interesting information, I found it really by mistake looking for something else. Have bookmarked it and will be back soon. Please write more on miami beach.
01/04/2010 at 3:16 pm Permalink
good info, keep em coming.
05/04/2010 at 11:48 am Permalink
You seem to be a professional. Wonderful weblog and fantastic writing abilities.