The South Beach War Report Part I: The Basics
The South Beach War Report Part I: The Basics
South Beach has never been as corporate as it is today. We all long for the mid and late 90’s when Miami Beach was a wide open model bonanza. Well, life goes on. The reality is that the place is still one of America’s best nightlife cities. And if you aspire to be a Top Playboy you need to spend the majority of your winter there (if you spend your winter in America). If you were not in Miami in February last month, flat out, you blew it. No one, and I repeat no one, has ever taken “The Mack of the Year Award” and not spent considerable time in Miami during February (And I am not talking about being in Miami for Super Bowl weekend with all the jerkoffs…that weekend actually Hurts your “player ranking”…as does All-Star Weekend in Vegas, but that’s another story).
South Beach is ultra competitive. You need to bring you A game. Miami Beach has been countless players “Waterloo”. And I am The Duke of Wellington (which is fitting since I do own a British Passport along with and Irish, a Spanish, and US). Huge defeats have been suffered in South Beach. You know the type of loss, the “I need to go back to (insert B grade city), marry my non-model girlfriend and move to the suburbs” type of defeat. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen the “I saw the most beautiful girls I have ever seen, and I didn’t even get a phone number!” look of defeat on guys faces walking back to their hotel at 4 am. I personally make fools look at defeat like a foot doctor. Regular everyday Guy has no chance in Miami. They are usually finished quicker than it takes an ice cube to melt on Lincoln Road in summertime. Regular Guy doesn’t have the tools, the weapons, the experience, the heart, or the Game. Even capable players meet defeat in South Beach. You will see them outside of clubs trying in vain to gain entrance, “Come on, let me in, I work for William Morris Agency in LA…blah, blah, blah…” “I am with Creative Artist Agency this, Endeavor that…etc”. Even top players get dismantled in South Beach. I remember seeing a Top Tier Los Angeles playboy get completely dissected in South Beach two years ago…he hasn’t been back since and trust me, it wasn’t pretty. I even know a first rate Parisian playboy who was absolutely bullet proof in Paris and Southern France that was made to look like Swiss Cheese in Miami Beach. There is a certain skill set that you must have if you are want success in Miami Beach. And if you are looking for that skill set, well, then you have come to the right place: The G Manifesto. Here is Part I…The Basics:
Always work in a Small Team
This is a rule that applies to a lot of things; setting up a drug dealing firm, a Jewelry Store Heist Crew, or Attacking South Beach. I personally like to work Dolo. More agile. But if you have crew members, make sure they are G Manifesto Certified. Make sure everyone is illmatic and still at it. The kind of G’s that pop the glock, come thru drop the top and take over the block. NO South Beach rookies in your crew. A Miami Beach rookie is about as valuable as a off the rack suit at a Post-Oscars party: worthless. Also, Don’t think that because you have had some success in West Coast beach towns that is going to translate to success in South Beach. If you bring the kind of paper thin Game that you use at West Coast Beach Bars like Sharkeez, Moondoggies, Longboards, and Big Kahuna bar you can expect to get destroyed in South Beach. Washed up like money that’s laundered.
Miami is a city that celebrates Latin Culture and culture as a whole. As it should. If you don’t speak any Spanish, you will come off as an unsophisticated hick. As you should. Most of the most beautiful girls in South Beach speak Spanish. So common sense would dictate that if you want beautiful girls on south beach you should speak Spanish, right? Quatro, tres, dos, uno, you know I throw my weight around like a Sumo….
To take it one step further than speaking Spanish, it is better to be Latin as well. This is tough since you have very little input in what your nationality is. Thankfully I am Half-Irish, Half-Basque Spanish, which works perfectly in South Beach (coincidentally, that is the same combination Che Guevara, G Manifesto Certified Hall of Fame Member, was). But even if I wasn’t the perfect mix that I am, I would probably lie and say I had some Spanish blood of some sort. It’s that important. Being Italian, French, really anything is going to be a hell of a lot better than “I am not sure what my nationality is, I think my father grew up in Indiana”. Miami is the Capital of Latin America.
You need to have plenty of CASH flow to properly attack south beach. It’s at least twice as expensive as whatever b-grade spot that you come from. Years ago, one of my friends, a top notch West Coast Based G who I have known since our Juvenile Hall days, told me when we were chilling at the Playboy Mansion, that Miami Beach is “a G a day”. Meaning, that you need a thousand dollars a day just to operate there and be IN the Game. I agree with that assessment. I think a Grand a day and you are staying at the right spots eating at the right joints, getting cocktails at the right lobbies, and getting into the right Nightclubs. You are still just IN the Game. I like rolling like a new-school Jon Roberts, caine wholesaler style. I wouldn’t think of venturing out into a beautiful, breezy, tropical South Beach night without $1500 on me. For nothing else for the bankroll factor, since I get pro-bono’d so heavy in South Beach.
South Beach is the place where you bust out your best gear (what are you saving it for anyway?) I always make sure I get a handful of new Custom suits before hitting South Beach. This year I had Ozwald Boateng hook me with a few, and I had this old Italian tailor from Napoli hook me with a few, all with my signature Cookie Monster Blue interior (this guy is my secret weapon and I have to keep him confidential…and I don’t mean that crappy lounge called Confidential in Southern California either….). You want to wear gear that hits harder than Albert Pujols and Edison “Pantera” Miranda combined. I will also bring a ski mask in case I need to go shopping. So many fools dress so slack in South Beach that just by dressing razor sharp you can be in the top tier. Bruno Magli, OJ style, but you know I won’t leave the glove…
Don’t Smoke? You better learn and learn quickly. Even though the State of Florida passed a non-smoking law similar to California’s draconian laws, smoking in South Beach is non-issue. By the way, I hate “Florida” much the same way I hate “California”. I really have only been to Miami, and have no desire to check out the rest of that miserable state, same goes for California, I only really like a few pockets. California as a whole is generally speaking a waste of decent real estate. Anyway, all the beautiful girls smoke in South Beach. The only girls you are going to turn off by smoking are the girls you want to turn off anyways. I have done an unofficial case study, and 99% of Model girls smoke. And 100% of girls that are cool, at least accept it. So make sure your Dunhill, Dupont or Zippo Lighter is filled with Fluid (and I don’t mean that lounge in Toronto called Fluid either).
This should get you started. More South Beach Maneuvers coming soon. Check back for Part II: Advanced Techniques….till then… The Rest is Up to You……..
I know I am not alone in thinking that Marco Antonio Barrera was jobbed by the judges in his fight with Juan Manuel Marquez. The referee also made a grave error in missing a picture perfect knockdown. Lets hope Vegas gets it together for the Mayweather VS De La Hoya fight….
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA El Campeón De La Gente
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life
The Guide to Getting More Out of Travel
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I hate T-shirts, but Pitbull’s shirt with the ski mask is dope…….Born N Raised…..