iPhone Fingerprint Scanner for Idiots

» 11 September 2013 » In Crime »

iPhone Fingerprint Scanner for Idiots

Watching Squawk Box yesterday I saw that the new Iphone comes with a fingerprint scanner.

Huh?

People are going to give up their fingerprints, just like that?

I did a little search online to see if there was any outrage over this. It looks like there is none. In fact, it looks like people are all excited about this and how “cool” it is.

First off, nothing about a cell phone is “cool”. Second, you are a straight up idiot to give away your fingerprint information.

Senior vice president of worldwide marketing, Phillip Schiller called it “an innovative way to simply and securely unlock your phone with just the touch of a finger.”

Yeah, because it is so hard to press “on” without getting your fingerprint read.

I love how they have these little reasons to gain more information about you.

“Add your cellphone to your email account, in case you lose your password”.

“Add your credit card and social to your phone account, to make it easier for you to make payments.”

“Add your fingerprints to your phone, so you won’t have to type your password”.

“Add a blood sample to your account, for your security…”

They also say it is good for buying “apps”.

Well, the only “apps” I use on my phone are the alarm clock, sometimes the calculator and the “call feature”, to, you know, make a phone call.

Well, the good thing about this is you will be able to identify an idiot by anyone owning this phone.

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Not to mention, these look pretty gay:

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life

the floaters – float on

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6 Comments on "iPhone Fingerprint Scanner for Idiots"

  1. The G Manifesto
    vonnie
    14/09/2013 at 1:57 pm Permalink

    nice to see some quality color.. its about time!!

  2. The G Manifesto
    Born Again Alpha
    27/09/2013 at 1:34 pm Permalink
  3. The G Manifesto
    Peter
    08/10/2013 at 2:19 pm Permalink

    Are you based out of Montreal now?

    I enjoy the manifesto. I hope that you keep it coming more in the fall.

    On to the subject of phones: Do you have one that you’d recommend? Have you run across one lately that actually works well as a phone?

  4. The G Manifesto
    The Dinnertime Bandit
    24/10/2013 at 9:41 am Permalink

    I thought you should know about this documentary, Michael.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p01hs637/Storyville_20132014_Smash_and_Grab_The_Story_of_the_Pink_Panthers/

    Thrilling heist documentary about the world’s most notorious gang of diamond thieves, featuring exclusive and unprecedented interviews with the Pink Panther members for the first time on television.

    The Pink Panthers have stolen over £270m in diamonds in more than 241 robberies in cities from Paris to Tokyo. The film explores the rise of the group during the 1990s Balkan conflict when economic sanctions imposed on Serbia fuelled illegal activities. The criminals reveal an underworld driven by fast wealth and paranoia, while the detectives and inspectors, who are working with Interpol, are on a mission to stop their crime spree with growing success. Combining surveillance footage of the heists, archive of the Balkans’ turbulent past, animation and strong testimonies, the film draws connections between international affairs, economics and the shady world of part of the diamond industry.

  5. The G Manifesto
    JBoxer
    08/12/2013 at 3:07 am Permalink

    Where did you box in Montreal?
    You still in Montreal?

  6. The G Manifesto
    Luc
    17/12/2013 at 5:32 pm Permalink

    Actually, the phones in your picture are the Iphone 5c s (the Iphone 5s is the one with the fingerprint scanner.)

    What phone do you roll with G? I know you don’t like smartphones so I’m wondering??? I mean people/girls would look askew at a dude who whips out a Startec in 2013!

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