Advanced move for Picking up Exotic Dancers
It’s no secret that swooping Exotic Dancers is a favorite pastime of the G. We have already touched on the subject a few times with: Manifesto Destiny: The Gentleman’s Club, Manifesto Destiny: Innovative Gentleman’s Club Concepts, and The Gentleman’s Club Theorem AKA The Local Bar Theorem (click to review). Today, we will discuss an Advanced Technique that is often overlooked by even the most sinister of G’s, brought to you by The G Manifesto…For The People:
Here is the situation:
So, you have convinced the Exotic Dancer, who earlier in the week won a $750 pole dancing competition at a rival Gentleman’s Club, to cruise home with you when she gets off work. (Which, is weird, since I recently swooped on an Exotic Dancer who won a $750 pole dancing competition at a rival Gentleman’s Club earlier this week. But that’s neither Brioni nor Armani.) But you still are far from Paradise (and I don’t mean Club Paradise in Las Vegas or Club Paradise in Kiev, Ukraine either). Either way, you have been keeping a grin on her now. And she wants to travel with you where they wear bikinis in the winter too now. And maybe she thinks, in time, you will spend a few thou. So, things are looking lovely (and I don’t mean that fly Exotic Dancer I know named Lovely that works at Scores in NYC, real name Cindy, either). But before she wants to come over to you crib, she wants to get something to eat. We all are familiar with the concept that Exotics like to eat after work. The pinnacle moment of the swoop comes when she says something like, “Do you want to go to Denny’s?” and you say “Sure, I will meet you there”. Wrong answer.
Side note: Exotic Dancers don’t always have the best taste in late night cuisine.
Wu-Tang Clan – Ice Cream
Meeting an Exotic Dancer at a place like Denny’s isn’t a horrible move on paper (after all, you are doing better that 99.9% of the guys in the Gentleman’s Club, since you actually Are meeting an Exotic Dancer after she gets off work). But keep in mind, you are still a few rounds away from winning a unanimous decision on the judges cards. Meeting an Exotic at a place like Denny’s, does open you up to many potential Cambodian Landmines.
Running into her Boyfriend at the Denny’s.
Running into guys from the Gentleman’s Club that she fleeced for $1200 earlier in the night.
Running into regular drunk guy, eating some “Moons over My Hammy”, trying to put salt in your Game.
Tina Turner “Private Dancer”
So how does the upwardly mobile G get past this? Great question. The best thing to do is meet at your crib or luxury hotel room and keep some high-end cuisine on staff at your crib. I typically keep some freshly made insalata caprese made with Imported buffalo mozzarella, heirloom tomatoes, basil vinaigrette, or Côte de porc charcutière with hand rolled gnocchi or freshly caught surf clam with nasturtium, cucumber and shallots in my fridge for situations such as these. At least, keep some imported High-end meats and cheeses in the fridge. Let’s face it though, you can probably have some pizza or homemade pastas on hand and it will probably do the trick. I just like to go for the style points that haute cuisine brings. Plus I like Salmón a la sidra con huevas de trucha at 3am.
Donna Summer – Bad Girls (at Johnny Carson’s in 1979)
Having Haute Cuisine on staff is preferable to cooking food at your crib as well. This is especially apparent when you have got two Exotics at your crib. The time it takes to bust out some Lobster Ravioli’s with a Peekytoe Crab Aurora Sauce could make the Exotics lose their edge. And we don’t want anyone to lose their edge, right?
Remember, keep the Champagne cold….
The Rest is Up to You……
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
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Patra – Worker Man (not sure what is about Patra. Except she might be the hottest girl who has ever lived. But I am not sure why. Watch this and maybe you can help me figure it out.) Either way, I think it is time for a trip to Jamaica again.
DONNA SUMMER Bad Girls (Demo 1979) I like this version also.
Tina Turner, What’s Love Got To Do With It