10 Great Things About America
Everyone knows I am one of America’s harshest critics.
However, there are some great things about America that I don’t think it gets enough credit for:
1. 7-11’s. My hatred of corporate America is well documented. However, the convenience of 7-11 can’t be beat. They are on every corner in Southern California. You can spend a half an hour walking around other countries looking for a pack of smokes or a Coke. And don’t get me started on the operating hours of those establishments in other countries.
2. ATM’s. A great thing about America is our banks have multiple ATM’s in a bank, so you can shoot in and out real fast. And people know how to use them quickly. In other countries, you have some motherf*cker, f*cking around with his transaction for 20 minutes. I mean, there are only two things you can do at an ATM; put money in, or take money out. And if you do both, it takes two minutes. In other countries you have guys typing in numbers forever, you would think he is writing a book report or something.
3. Friends. Friends are hard to make in any country. But even harder in foreign countries. Sure I have made some, but it is fewer and further between than in America.
4. The Green Back. Our money is probably the best of anywhere in the world. I am not talking about the value either, getting all Peter Schiff style on you. I am talking about durability, and the fact that it is all the same size. And doesn’t have any gay colors on it. Hell, even Canadian money rips too easily. I probably have 3k worth of ripped in half Canadian dollars in my possession.
5. Variety of girls. When you go to the right places in America ie LA, SD, SF, LV, MIA, NYC etc, America can’t be beat as far as variety of girl you can swoop. In Miami, you can swoop girls from 10 different countries in a month. Try that trick in Bogota. Or Buenos Aires.
6. Openness of people. People are more open to being swooped in America than other countries. In Spain, for instance, people are extremely closed off. People party with their friends and in groups in other countries. In America, we party to meet people.
7. Drugs. We probably have the best selection of Drugs of any country. And real easy to get. Holland is good too though.
8. Booze. Ever try to get a Vodka Soda in Spain? Good luck. Even though bartenders suck in America, the are even worse in other countries. And crazy slow.
9. Setup of Bars and Clubs. The set up of American bars and clubs is conducive to meeting people. (Although it is getting worse). In other countries, it is all about group setting.
10. Personal Space. In America, we understand personal space. Other countries, not so much. Even during the day, fools in other countries get a little too close. I have probably pushed people at night in eight different countries for invading my personal space.
11. Girls. As much as we all hate American girls, they are the easiest on the planet. And I love them for that. And I try to show my appreciation by swooping them.
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
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