G Manifesto tip of the week 9/28/05: Nightclub Tip

Nightclub Tip:

Setting up shop and running the show in a Night Club can be achieved many ways. The obvious move is to get a dope crew together and throw like $750.00 plus down on a table and bottles of Goose. This can be a very effective move, but a move such as this doesn’t exactly keep you very agile for the night. When you are rolling in a two or three deep crew and you need to hit multiple spots that night, a different move is in order. Pay attention because this move works about a close as you can get to 100% of the time. Upon entering the club, find the main bar and post up on the corner. This is very important, and if it’s a U shaped bar this move works even better. (If some guys already occupy the spot, do whatever it takes to take the corner spot from them ie tell the bouncers that the guys are stealing money off the bar or grab a glass break it over their head …..be creative…whatever it takes to grab the corner spot.) Now the key is not to be like every other jerk in the bar in a striped shirt with spiky hair, drinking a bottled beer or weesh cocktail. You need to stand out……….. and no one else in the Club will be doing this. Get a wine list from the bartender and order a decent bottle of Red. Pay with CASH. Get 4 glasses. Without fail, before the wine can properly breathe, you will have a couple of girls around you wanting to try the inky, fleshy Zinfandel or the full bodied Barolo the bartender just cracked open. Drinking the wine will make you look like a man of style and taste. It also gives you plenty of opportunity to tell the girls about how your family owns a winery in Spain, and that you are descended from High-Society Europe. This really works to your advantage considering her boyfriends family owns a Dairy Queen and he grew up right next to a strip mall. I am not really sure the exact reason this move works so well (is it the clinking noise of wine glasses playing upon female hormones, much like the “ping” noise of a Zippo?, or if girls are attracted to guys with bottles?, or who knows it could have something to do with the $2300.00 Three button Zegna suit I am wearing?) but girls will surround you every time. Dope ones too. The main point isn’t necessarily “why” it works, the main point is that it “does” work. So try it…….the rest is up to you.

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ