Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes
Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes
This week we are going to go into some real effective and proven closes. Keep in mind that closing is only limited by the G’s imagination. Of course, when you are in a nightclub and you have a girl on the ropes, you can tell her that you will buy her a yacht or a condo, and if you dress as fresh as I do she probably will believe that you have that kind of liquid dough. But you obviously don’t want to get called on the carpet and be stuck with a new condo in a bloated real estate market. So here are some relatively easy closes with limited downside potential, and unlimited upside….you can’t get a better deal than that, right?
The Champagne Close
This close has fewer holes than Winky Wrights’ defense. Part of the strength of this close is that it’s universal in nature. Younger girls, older girls, French Vanilla girls, Butter Pecan girls, Chocolate-deluxe, Caramel Sundaes, Upper Eastside Mobiles, Ford model girls, Sophistos, Playboy Playmates, Penthouse Pets, Otto Zutz Girls, Suicide Girls, Razor Dolls, Exotic Dancers, College Girls, Girls who can’t spell “College”, and Stewardesses flying around the world all love champagne. Girls that have never had it even love the idea of Champange. Even girls who don’t like you and think that your attitude is arrogant, cocky, rude will buy into this one. Girls that don’t even want anything else to drink, their eyes will brighten up with even the mere mention of “You like Champagne right? Let’s get out of here, get a bottle of and drink it in my Suite”. The key to that line is you have to deliver it in the most unassuming and nonchalant way possible. You can over sell it if your too pushy, as if your trying to buy the girl with the champagne. You have to say it as if you were saying “let’s go outside and get some fresh air”. Like it is something that you do every day (which is easy for me because I do). Smooth chill and Tranquilo. As with many things, it is not so much what you say, it is how you say it. Practice makes perfect. (It obviously helps to be wearing a Three Button Grey Zegna, steel blue Brioni shirt, Aqua, red and black Zegna Exclusivo tie, and black Valentino pocket square- Art Deco Gangster Style). For the financially challenged, roll by the Bodega on the way home and pick up an inexpensive bottle of Spanish Cava.
The Las Vegas Close (aka the Travel Close)
(This one works real well on Southern California girls because it’s so believable.) Vegas is one of the greatest marketing schemes ever created by humans. Let’s face it, if you gamble, and you don’t cheat, you Will lose your money (Personally, I always take the “gamble” out of gambling). Yet people love to go to Vegas and give away their money. Its great marketing spin of the highest degree. So take advantage of it. Girls love the idea of the excitement, action, and (phony) glamour of Las Vegas. One of the best move is to weave Vegas into conversation with a girl (really not that hard) and once you get positive feedback say something along the lines of “lets hang out tonight, and tomorrow we’ll roll to Vegas”. Girls think they like being spontaneous or something. Keep in mind you never really have to go to Vegas the next day. You can always come up with some excuse in the morning, like “I completely forgot, I am getting my final fitting on some custom suits, and my tailor, William Fioravanti, flew in from NYC for one day” or “I got a message that my racehorse fell during his morning workouts, there is no way I can go Vegas now!” In fact, I must have used The Las Vegas Close over three hundred times, and I if my memory serves me correct, I have never flown a girl to Las Vegas……… (obviously, if you are in Vegas, you can’t use this one. Be agile; just insert Miami Beach or New York, or the Caribbean for Las Vegas).
The Spa Close
I have pulled myself out of “towering infernos” and “perfect storms” with The Spa Close. This is also one of the most deadly. It is similar to being bitten by The Sydney Funnel-Web spider (in my opinion the most deadly spider in the world). It’s no secret that girls love Spas. Like both the above closes, you hit the Greed button as stated in “The Six Elements of Picking up Girls”. The Spa Close implies money, taste, and style. All Girls dream about meeting guys that will take them to the Spa. Why not play into it? This one seriously works like 100% of the time. It’s very Zen. The devil is in the details. You have to really have to sell the special “treatments” that they do at the spas. Start talking about how amazing the “Hydrating Coconut-Pineapple Crème Scrub” is or how incredible you feel after the “Honey Milk Body Wrap”, or how can’t miss the “Hot Basalt Stone Therapy” is at this spot. Really do your research and become an Aficionado. I am not sure what it is but girls fall under the “Ether” (and when I say “Ether” I don’t mean that track that Nas torched Jay-Z on) when you talk about this stuff. Girls are so far down the canyon at this point that they offer very little defense when the Indians come out.
(The next two Closes are a little more High-Risk, but effective none the less)
The Room Service Close
This is real similar to the Champagne Close. It works real well on Exotic Dancers and waitress/ Bartender girls. The only draw back is you can eat too much and kill the mood (and when I say “mood” I don’t mean that nightclub “Mood” in LA). So remember to order light. Stick to shrimp cocktails, tartares, things like that. Never let her order the nachos. (It always amazes me how girls don’t hardly eat at dinner, at the sickest restaurant with Guy Savoy manning the stove, and late night, they get the appetite of Buster Douglas after he beat Tyson.)
The Split-Bean Close
I love this one. I might have even created it. It’s always good to “trial close” this one. Try it on the wrong girl and you can really un-spool the deal. Plus you might have a sore back the next day. Or Strychnine poisoning. It’s best to make someone guinea pig the beans first. But if you hook into some of that early 90’s stuff, you are in for a real treat.
So there are Five basic closes. These all work extremely well. In fact, I try not to use them anymore because they are almost Too effective. I am an innovator by background, so I am always trying new closes and pushing the outer limits of Game. You have to stay one step ahead, right? Later we will cover more advance closes like: The House of Mirrors Close, The “El Ocho”, The Three Devils Close, The Dallas Winston Close, The Rusty James Close, The Soda Pop Curtis, The Snake and Crane Close, The Hell in a handbasket Close, The “Made you look”, The Magic Missile, The Something in My Eye, The Extraordinary Technique Close, The Let them Eat Cake Close, The Three Avengers, The Only Built for Cuban Linx, The Iron Monkey Close, The Praying Mantis Close, The Drunken Monk, The Don Juan DeMario, The “I’ve become a Playboy” Close, The Latin got Hot, The Wire, The Venus Fly Trap, and The Shimmering Snake, among others. Till then…….The Rest is Up To You…….
All three Politicians I backed won their Elections on Tuesday. Much like hitting a trifecta at the Track. Looks like it will be a good summer……
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Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Ice Cream Man
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
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