Third Night in Riga, Latvia: Karate Chop

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Third Night in Riga, Latvia: Karate Chop

Click Here for The G Manifesto’s Gentleman’s Club Report

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

After realizing The Scam Night in Riga, I shake it off and Enter The Dragon.

I decide to get some culture in me, so I check out Latvijas Okupācijas muzejs or in English, The Museum of the Occupation of Latvia. Definitely, worth checking out. Real depressing though. Here is the basic rundown of the spot and the recent history of Latvia:

1. The Soviets took over Latvia and screwed them over.
2. The Nazi’s took over Latvia from the Soviets and screwed them over.
3. The Soviets took back over Latvia from the Nazi’s and screwed them over again.

Something like 550,000 people died, were murdered or disappeared. About 1/3 of the population. Not too many bright spots either. Like I said, pretty depressing stuff.

As I was leaving the Museo, I get a text from an 18 year old girl, named Karina, I met during a Street Game Session the day before while getting a SIM card from Rimi.

She wants to roll tonight.

She is not the flyest girl I have met by a long shot in Riga, but I figure 1) She’s 18 years old, 2) She speaks English really well, and 3) The whole affair has the promise of entertainment value and I can learn about the culture.

So I agree to meet up.

After another Vampire Nap, I get dipped and roll to meet her.

When I see her, she is with a girlfriend named Inga. 19 years old and super fly. Smooth. How often does that happen?

I roll with the two girls to get some drinks and these girls are buying me some Vodka shots, so I start to chip back away at the Scam dollars lost. The conversation is real basic stuff, which I actually prefer, as my Russian and Latvian skills are pretty weesh, and the two girls English is pretty basico, although Karina speaks pretty good.

Karina gets up to go to the bathroom at one spot, and Inga kisses me. It’s on like Eazy-E.

We roll to some weesh club, but it hardly matters as a “weesh club” still has mad fly girls in it, being we are in Riga, Latvia.

The night starts getting a little hazy, and I start rapping out with other girls and locking the place down Boa Constrictor Style ie The Bouncers, Bartenders and Waitresses.

I sit down and start talking to two fly Russian girls named Anna, and I think Christina. I notice there is some Russian cat kind of giving me the ice grill, but I pay him no mind.

The conversation with the two Russian girls is going smooth and according to plan as I Number Crunch the more fly of the two.

One of the girls says something in Russian to the cat ice grilling me which I take to mean “Beat it” or something. My Russian language skills are not too dope. She then tells me, “Don’t worry about him, he’s drunk.”

I respond, “I am not worried”. I glance over at him to see what he is up to then commence to spitting Game, my back turned to Mad Dogging Russian.

I continue with some dope story when I feel a pain in my neck. Russian Homeboy Karate Chops me from behind!

Unreal. When was the last time you were Karate Chopped? Maybe 4th Grade?

I stand up, Russian Homeboy backs off (he is pretty big), and I get ready to let him hear the birdies chirp.

The Russian girls jump in between us and I hesitate. I am not sure why? Maybe its maturity? Or maybe I don’t want to spend time in a freezing Latvian prison? But I don’t light up the Russian kook with a combo.

One of the Russian girls runs and gets one of the Bouncers I locked down earlier.

The bouncer comes out and grabs the Russian guy and ejects him from the club, using his head to open the door.


I trip out for a moment trying to make sense of what just happened, cause I want to know what’s going on like Marvin, but after a second of that nonsense, I do another shot of Black Balsam.

I continue raging till 6am trying to convert some of these leads back to my hotel to kick up their high-heeled boots, to no avail.

Good night though. Two physical confrontations in three days. Not bad.

But just like that, I go 0-3 in Riga, Latvia.

(Well, technically I am 0-3 on swooping girls in Riga, Latvia, but I am 1-0-1 on the physical confrontation tip. We will rule tonight’s action with the Karate Chop Kid, a draw.)

Click Here for The G Manifesto’s Gentleman’s Club Report

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life

Eazy-E – It’s On

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22 Comments on "Third Night in Riga, Latvia: Karate Chop"

  1. The G Manifesto
    19/10/2010 at 7:07 pm Permalink

    Trouble has a way of finding you, doesn’t it. I guess that’s part of the G lifestyle. It’s interesting that being able to fight is kind of a prerequisite for getting the hottest girls, since you will face such fierce competition, and they want to know you can defend them… I need to take some Shuai-Jiao classes.

  2. The G Manifesto
    19/10/2010 at 7:11 pm Permalink

    Awesome recap MPM however it seems that Latvia is not all it’s cracked up to be if even an International Playboy can’t get lucky. I guess these supafly girls have been exposed to too many foreign tourists and British stag parties so their standards must have gone up. Perhaps, the place to hit nowadays is Belorussia as I hear they are not yet westernized and local hotties can be swooped without any effort.

  3. The G Manifesto
    19/10/2010 at 8:07 pm Permalink

    Word. Great writing, I am digging this story, it;s coming to life in my imagination. Props for keeping it real, it sounds like you’re giving it to us straight, with no chaser. Looking forward to hearing the rest of the report.

  4. The G Manifesto
    19/10/2010 at 8:20 pm Permalink

    seems more real than some of the previous posts that may have been slightly embellished… just sayin.

  5. The G Manifesto
    19/10/2010 at 10:07 pm Permalink

    Hey G,

    Based on what some of my friends have told me, I hear it’s better to be really picky on the type of clubs you go to out in Eastern Europe.

    They also advised me to keep a “low profile” because every local guy will be jealous of you as soon as they spot you….so being a flashy foreigner will definitely get them hating your guts on sight.

    It sounds like they were right after reading your stories.

    Maybe you should be more undercover in the future and go for classier places?

  6. The G Manifesto
    19/10/2010 at 11:26 pm Permalink

    I love this blog. Michael, you are the Man.

  7. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 7:10 am Permalink


    Yeah, trouble in Riga is not hard to find. At least for me.

    – MPM

  8. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 7:10 am Permalink


    Don’t count me out yet.

    – MPM

  9. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 7:12 am Permalink


    Thanks. It’s always straight with no chaser.

    At most, its straight with a little lime juice just to keep the narrative in line.

    – MPM

  10. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 7:13 am Permalink


    Thanks. Which ones are you referring to?

    – MPM

  11. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 7:16 am Permalink


    It is kind of hard to keep a low profile in Riga. At least it is if you are going for the gold medal. Which, I always do.

    Cut me some slack on the “classier places” thing. Its my first few nights there, and no one brings the Data Sheets like The G Manifesto. So, that being said, there isn’t much good info out there.

    Wait till I bring the bar and nightclub Data Sheets for Riga: comprehensive. Unlike those other fakers.

    – MPM

  12. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 7:17 am Permalink



    I really need to write about my “off-nights” more, I guess.

    But I agree. It’s the dopest out there. If I didn’t write it, it would be one of the few blogs I would read.

    – MPM

  13. The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 8:33 am Permalink

    Classic… Last time I was “Karate Chopped” was after watching a fu flick with my partners and we all thought we were grand masters afterward, maybe 10 years old at the time.

    On a side note, I have found that a properly placed K.C. in the adams apple will stop anyone, no matter if he is as big as Ivan Drago, or as slick as the drunkin master.

  14. The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 10:49 am Permalink

    How long did you stay in Riga by the way and any cities on your radar for your next trip?

  15. The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 1:38 pm Permalink

    Good choice on holding back on that one. Never want things to escalate to something ugly abroad. When I go into clubs I keep my eyes peeled and pack either heat or steel, unless they have that metal detector sh*t. They wave you down before you go into clubs in Riga?

  16. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 3:38 pm Permalink


    Yeah, I used to karate chop mad fools when I was a young cub.

    – MPM

  17. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 3:39 pm Permalink


    Eastern Europe wise? Or anywhere?

    – MPM

  18. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    20/10/2010 at 3:39 pm Permalink


    They actually don’t.

    But I had no heater connects in Riga.

    – MPM

  19. The G Manifesto
    21/10/2010 at 3:26 pm Permalink

    3 days two altercations dang.

    Always got to be ready.

    Shouldn’t you be sitting with back to a wall?

    Lack of fear of death > carrying heater.

  20. The G Manifesto
    Canadian Beef
    17/01/2011 at 11:50 pm Permalink

    was Christina or Inga about 20 years old and blonde

    because it sounds like the same thing that happened to me this weekend in riga

  21. The G Manifesto
    infamous 32
    19/07/2011 at 6:19 pm Permalink

    awee man, did you leave the centre?
    shit you look suspect cous.
    and yee man ya game is tight.

  22. The G Manifesto
    That Guy you know
    14/11/2011 at 1:55 pm Permalink

    excuse me sir do you happen to be black or ‘blek” or just speak that way?

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