Travel Tips for Americans

» 07 March 2011 » In G Manifesto, Girls, Guide, Style, Travel »

Travel Tips for Americans

Traveling has become a real drag lately. Or I should say the “process” of traveling has really become a drag. Here are some tips for Americans to make traveling more enjoyable for all involved.

Go easy on the carry-ons

I know that Airlines sometimes lose bags, but everyone needs to start going easy on the carry-ons. Or at least people need to go easy on carry-ons if they can’t handle them. (If you can’t lift your bag into an overhead, check it. This is more directed at men, women and the elderly are excused). Personally, I always check my bags. It keeps me more agile for swooping girls in airports.

Fat-Free Flights

Ok, so we now have smoke-free flights. Now that Obesity is the #1 killer in America, and with Obesity rates in our Country hitting something like 95%, it would only make sense if we had Fat–People-Free flights. Right?

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Dressing sharp

In the good old days, people used to dress with style and elegance when they traveled. Today, as we all know, it’s a real slob fest. It’s embarrassing. If I see one more girl in Ugg boots and sweats or another fool in a “hipster fedora”, I may take down a plane myself. Recently, I was on a flight where there were three weesh Twenty-something American girls in, get this, Pajamas. And it was a weesh connecter from the Midwest to the East Coast. It wasn’t like we were flying to Macau to chill with the Ho family or something.

Please, have some respect for yourself, and Dress Sharp.

I honestly think when people in the future look back to the fall our country; they are going to trace it to the loss of freedom (ie smoking bans, TSA) and loss of self-respect (people dressing like slobs).

And don’t even get me started on Stewardesses today.

How it should be:

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The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life

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7 Comments on "Travel Tips for Americans"

  1. The G Manifesto
    Steve
    07/03/2011 at 6:42 pm Permalink
  2. The G Manifesto
    Bill Bixby
    07/03/2011 at 6:55 pm Permalink

    I would have been great in the good old days. If you call a chick a chick or smack them on the ass, you catch a sexual harassment lawsuit. Progress doesn’t always make things better.

  3. The G Manifesto
    Mac
    07/03/2011 at 8:12 pm Permalink

    As to Uggs – oh yes, you are so right. I hate those things with a passion. They are indeed “Ugg”-ly.

    And while you’re also right about the standards of dress on planes, how about casinos, too? The one here in Pittsburgh looks more like the “People of Walmart” than anything you’ll see in James Bond…

  4. The G Manifesto
    Eamon
    08/03/2011 at 9:27 am Permalink

    The sloppiness annoys me most. Whatever happened to wearing a nice pair of slacks and dress shirt, with a blazer and comfortable loafers? Now you see people in running shoes, etc.

    Mac, not to sound impudent, but I’m not sure what you were expecting from a casino in Pittsburgh…

  5. The G Manifesto
    Mac
    08/03/2011 at 7:54 pm Permalink

    Eamon:

    Of course. But I saw the same thing in Vegas. Maybe Monaco is different, but I haven’t seen ANY here in the States that didn’t look like trailer trash heaven.

  6. The G Manifesto
    Eamon
    08/03/2011 at 9:46 pm Permalink

    Mac,

    Point duly noted. What I meant was, if you see ripped jeans and glitter and other assorted nonsense G’s are allergic to in Vegas, then there’s no hope for Pittsburgh.

    Extend it to North America. Was in Canada last year (Toronto, and Niagara Falls) and I saw the same thing, but not as bad as the Land of the Free. The “Uggs” were quite common, I had to force myself to stop looking at the feet of females I came across as a precaution.

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