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Travel Tips for Americans

» 07 March 2011 » In G Manifesto, Girls, Guide, Style, Travel » 7 Comments

Travel Tips for Americans

Traveling has become a real drag lately. Or I should say the “process” of traveling has really become a drag. Here are some tips for Americans to make traveling more enjoyable for all involved.

Go easy on the carry-ons

I know that Airlines sometimes lose bags, but everyone needs to start going easy on the carry-ons. Or at least people need to go easy on carry-ons if they can’t handle them. (If you can’t lift your bag into an overhead, check it. This is more directed at men, women and the elderly are excused). Personally, I always check my bags. It keeps me more agile for swooping girls in airports.

Fat-Free Flights

Ok, so we now have smoke-free flights. Now that Obesity is the #1 killer in America, and with Obesity rates in our Country hitting something like 95%, it would only make sense if we had Fat–People-Free flights. Right?

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Dressing sharp

In the good old days, people used to dress with style and elegance when they traveled. Today, as we all know, it’s a real slob fest. It’s embarrassing. If I see one more girl in Ugg boots and sweats or another fool in a “hipster fedora”, I may take down a plane myself. Recently, I was on a flight where there were three weesh Twenty-something American girls in, get this, Pajamas. And it was a weesh connecter from the Midwest to the East Coast. It wasn’t like we were flying to Macau to chill with the Ho family or something.

Please, have some respect for yourself, and Dress Sharp.

I honestly think when people in the future look back to the fall our country; they are going to trace it to the loss of freedom (ie smoking bans, TSA) and loss of self-respect (people dressing like slobs).

And don’t even get me started on Stewardesses today.

How it should be:

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The Rest is Up to You…

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life


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