Yoga Game Part One: First Class

» 04 June 2012 » In Game, Girls, Guide, Style »

Yoga Game Part One: First Class

So I roll into my first Yoga class. I have no idea what to wear to this gig so I go with the black wife beater, Wild Card Boxing Club t-shirt, Everlast hoodie and Quik boardshorts. You know, the height of Fashion for Yoga G Set. Or at least that is what I think it should be.

As I step into the arena, I mean, the waiting area, I see a fly girl that is as hot as the bullet that went into Abe Lincoln. So what do I do?

I go and sit next to her and say, “hello”.

She smiles and says “hello” back.

The atmosphere is very relaxed and subdued, but I get a good back and forth dialog going on with her. She can tell I am The G.

She is down. I will swoop her after class on the real.

Class starts.

I grab a spot in the back, just like when I was in school, because I have no idea what the f*ck is going on.

This was actually a good move because I can spock all the fly girls in the class. And it is basically all girls.

Minimal guys, only two others. The competition is non-existent. One guy is probably suspect and the other is softer than a soft serve cone in Venice Beach in August.

Street-hardened, well-traveled, International Playboys that survived The Extacsy Wonder Gang Wars, like your humble author, these guys are not.

We bust out the class, and I did pretty well actually. The fly girl teacher asks me, “Was that really your first class?”

When it ends, I feel great. I almost want to yell, “Let’s all get some cocktails and have a smoke!”, but I decide that it would be inappropriate in the Yoga Dojo.

Then the fly girl that I was talking to at the beginning of the class just gets up, rolls up her mat and splits.

What an airball.

Maybe I should have worn a Custom Suit to this gig and sparked up a smoke.

But I really think there is something to this Yoga stuff.

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Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life

http://www.thegmanifesto.com

midnight star – wet my whistle

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11 Comments on "Yoga Game Part One: First Class"

  1. The G Manifesto
    Someone
    04/06/2012 at 9:37 pm Permalink

    Swoop the fly girl teacher?

  2. The G Manifesto
    Tony Touch
    05/06/2012 at 8:03 am Permalink

    The Ecstasy Wonder Gang Wars? Sounds like a future NYT best-seller.

  3. The G Manifesto
    E.T.
    05/06/2012 at 8:30 am Permalink

    Find the chics who do the tantric yoga my g.

  4. The G Manifesto
    The G Manifesto
    05/06/2012 at 9:04 am Permalink

    E.T.,

    Funny you say that.

    I was thinking of dropping off the map and shack up with a Tantra Dojo with some fly Tantra girls for a few months.

    Any ideas on where some dope ones are?

    - MPM

  5. The G Manifesto
    PDX
    05/06/2012 at 10:02 am Permalink

    “Then the fly girl that I was talking to at the beginning of the class just gets up, rolls up her mat and splits.”

    Welcome to yoga game.

    My best success has been repeating at the same class, noting which girls are “fast splitters” or “lingerers” and planning my moves accordingly.

    Another sharp one is to note where a fly girl throws her mat down, and beat her to the spot before next class. She’ll set up camp next to you, being the creature of habit that she is.

  6. The G Manifesto
    Jesse
    05/06/2012 at 10:28 am Permalink

    G – Possibly the most innovative manifesto yet!!! Are you available for some motivational guest speaking this weekend?

    We got the VIP area & bottle service reserved for you and your crew at EDC this weekend, can’t wait! :-)

    -Jesse

  7. The G Manifesto
    Timo
    05/06/2012 at 7:41 pm Permalink

    Another solid post from The G///Yoga is one of the most solid venues to pull without a doubt. Going a few times to the same class is paramount to success at it. There are a lot of dudes that go and just try to one off them, and not all, but a LOT of the girls (especially the bangin’ ones) are privy to it.

  8. The G Manifesto
    Roots
    06/06/2012 at 4:09 pm Permalink

    Does your back & prior bean usage effect you at all while doing yoga?

  9. The G Manifesto
    Giovonny
    09/06/2012 at 11:47 am Permalink

    Be patient.

    This is no different then joining a new boxing gym. You don’t come in overbearing, making demands and trying to get involved in the pre-existing politics. You come in calm, collected, and hard working. Let them observe you for a while, let them soak up your vibe. Flash some style with your accessories, your sweatsuit, cap, shoes, shorts, etc.

    Come in looking better then the rest, train harder then the rest, if you get a chance to spar, show them what you got.

    After a week or so, they will come to you saying “whatsup”, asking questions and wanting to connect.

    If you use the right “bait” and know how to work a fishing pole, you will catch something.

    Go back to the yoga class, dress stylish but appropriate, get your workout in, be friendly and open, let your energy flow, the honeys will be attracted like bees on pollen.

    You don’t bang a yoga girl because you went to one yoga class, you bang a yoga girl because you went to five yoga classes.

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