How to Pick Up Fly Girls on Airplanes
How to Swoop Fly Girls on Airplanes
I arrive very early in the morning at Lindbergh Field waiting to bust out a SAN to MCI to FLL combo punch and stay in Fort Lauderdale with one of my friends that runs a hedge fund before continuing on to Bogota.
The airport is way more crowded than normal; lines snaking every which way, people unable to handle their luggage, fat poorly dressed Americans not knowing which way is up etc.
I quickly deduce which is my correct line and chill for the long wait ahead. Suddenly, a super fly girl gets in line behind me.
I am feeling great, like your idol, the highest title, numero uno. I’m not a Puerto Rican but my Game hits hard like Cotto.
So I don’t hesitate, “Is this the line for Southwest?”, I ask.
She responds, “Yeah, I think so.”, with a pretty big smile for early morning in an airport. Could be my brutally handsome good looks. Could be the Custom Suit. Not really sure, nor do I care.
It’s on. I give a decent pause, so I don’t seem too anxious.
“You flying to Fort Lauderdale?”, I ask.
“No” she replies, “I am going home to Kansas City.”
I contemplate saying I drove through there once during my “transport” days but decide against and instead say, “Cool. We are on the same flight. I am going to Fort Lauderdale after.”
“Are you staying in Fort Lauderdale?”
“For a few days, then I am going to Bogota, Colombia.” (I say this with a young-dashing-handsome-mysterious-false grinning-soft spoken-with a wild side-well dressed-millionaire-smuggler type vibe for maximum effect).
“Really, that is so cool. I have never been before. Have you?”
The hook is set.
We continue on in the line and the conversation moves on at a relatively rapid pace, especially considering its mad early in the morning. She hangs on my every word. And she is mad cool. And mad fly. And a sweetheart. I am impressed. Especially since she is an American girl (with some kind of exotic mix I can’t quite put my finger on yet, kind of a mix of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas with a little Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins thrown in) and from Kansas City no less.
(Note to self: maybe I have been making a mistake by dissing the American Heartland all these years and should check it out. Then again, maybe not.)
I then do a double take as we go past the TSA security monkeys when she takes off her coat, reveals a body that was made for only one thing. Or maybe a few things.
We finally get to our gate. It’s mad crowded.
“We should sit next to each other and continue this conversation.” I say.
“Sure. If we can.” She responds with a smile.
We grab a seat in the back, which is kind of lucky since the plane is pretty full. I toss her luggage in the overhead like a gentleman, let her sit by the window, and I wisely take the middle seat. This is smooth for two reasons. 1) I can let her see out the window, and I can point out a bunch of sites. 2) I effectively “box out” any chatter box that my join us in our aisle and throw salt in my Game.
Now let me take a step back for a moment.
It is kind of a running joke with my friends and I about how Unlucky I am on the random seating arrangement tip on Plane Flights. Since I have been counting, it has been almost 45 straight flights where I haven’t sat next to a swoopable girl. And that is since I started counting. Hell, I have friends that always get sat (randomly) next to fly girls. Not me. And this has really put a damper on my Plane Swoop Numbers. Trains, are another story completely. I chainsaw it on trains since most of the time there are no assigned seats. (Full Data Sheet on how to swoop fly girls on trains coming soon). However, this flight was Southwest, so I was able to take advantage of their “no assigned seats” policy.
We take off and I point out beaches and other visuals of note. We get to know each other more.
When I ask her what are her favorite things to do, she responds “Well, I would say, Dancing, Sewing, Cooking and playing Piano”.
Are you serious? That answer from a young modern day American Girl?
If I didn’t have so many goddamn options with fly girls in my life, I may have fallen in love right there.
I move closer to point out some clouds, our lips touch and…
Smooth. I finally broke my losing streak.
You can figure out how this ends up.
Side note I: I have a way for the Airlines to get themselves out of their precarious financial situation they find themselves in: Sell seats to International Playboys next to fly girls for a premium.
Hell, I would drop heavy scratch if they would sit me next to fly girls on each flight.
To the airline industry: Yes, I do accept thank you cards.
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The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com
213 – So Fly
24/03/2011 at 8:58 am Permalink
Famous data sheet and song…
MPM,
I am not the international playboy type more so a locally known and well respected G looking to upgrade my status to nationwide G, although I do appreciate the playboy tip, do you have any upcoming data sheets for the straight G’s out there on the grind?
With my base of operations in Detroit, which is terrible on all fronts right now (above and below the board), I need to expand my territory. Any suggestions based on you or your associates experience on which direction to take it?
No need to post this request, only looking to see if you can put together some notes and create a data sheet for ya boy.
24/03/2011 at 11:26 am Permalink
How does this end up? you were switching flights and she wasn´t. are you saying you took it down in the bathroom?
25/03/2011 at 10:50 am Permalink
Like faceinvader I’d be curious to know how it ended [without too much detail of course] but I imagine you convinced her to come along to FL. Compared to Kansas City, I’m not sure she’d have a reason to refuse, given the venom you were dropping earlier. That’s my take.
25/03/2011 at 4:31 pm Permalink
All this without offering the young lady a cocktail? Impressive.
27/03/2011 at 7:35 am Permalink
MPM,
That line “young-dashing-handsome-mysterious-false grinning-soft spoken-with a wild side-well dressed-millionaire-smuggler type vibe” totally killed it!
Dickgoodnuts,
you have much to learn, start by reading all – and I mean all – of MPM’s posts.
27/03/2011 at 6:55 pm Permalink
@Seph –
You seemed to have missed my sarcasm. MPM and I chat often.
27/03/2011 at 7:08 pm Permalink
G,
Killer post as usual.
I have a question for you. I was in miami last night at a nightclub, hugo boss jacket , purple interior, beer in one hand and smoking an arturo fuente cigar with the other because i’ve realized the style points i can gain for smoking from your writing and a beautiful girl comes up to dance with me. i’m convinced my dope look smoking a cigar is what pushed her over the edge to come up to me, but with the time it took me to figure out how to dance with her without her hair catching on fire from the cigar, she seemed like she thought i wasn’t interested and walked away. so my question is, what do you do when a girl comes up to dance with you when you are smoking? if it’s a cheap cigarette i guess you can just throw it on the floor and maybe i should have done that with the cigar, but i was a little hesitant to because of the cost.
Keep up the great work!
Thanks,
Matt
28/03/2011 at 6:32 am Permalink
you know G’s don’t fly southwest.
28/03/2011 at 10:22 am Permalink
This is top flight game for an older G. For an up-and-coming G like myself, the acne-ridden awkwardness of many younger chicas is an impediment to airport game.
Sample situation: me, sitting in a weesh airport lounge, waiting for a flight that’s been delayed like it’s been hit by ack-ack. A girl, with a fly body and pretty face, but the face looks like it’s a miniature version of the Krakatoa Eruption.
Me: Are you going to [wherever my flight is going]?
Her: (smiling) No, I’m going to [other place]. I’m actually from [X]. I’m going..[a lot of stuff about spring break et cetera]
This is where it gets boring. I can’t be arsed to listen to a lot of nonsense about how she’s doing in her sophomore year on a swimming scholarship.
28/03/2011 at 10:23 am Permalink
This is top flight game for an older G. For an up-and-coming G like myself, the acne-ridden awkwardness of many younger chicas is an impediment to airport game.
Sample situation: me, sitting in a weesh airport lounge, waiting for a flight that’s been delayed like it’s been hit by ack-ack. A girl, with a fly body and pretty face, but the face looks like it’s a miniature version of the Krakatoa Eruption.
Me: Are you going to [wherever my flight is going]?
Her: (smiling) No, I’m going to [other place]. I’m actually from [X]. I’m going..[a lot of stuff about spring break et cetera]
This is where it gets boring. I can’t be arsed to listen to a lot of nonsense about how she’s doing in her sophomore year on a swimming scholarship.
Any tips?
28/03/2011 at 12:20 pm Permalink
Michael,
“you know G’s don’t fly southwest.”
If you can suggest a better airline for SAN to FLL, I am all ears.
– MPM
29/03/2011 at 6:28 pm Permalink
@dickgoodnuts – my bad, mistook you for a hater.
31/03/2011 at 10:41 pm Permalink
@ MPM a better airline – private
25/02/2012 at 12:39 pm Permalink
Am I the only one who doesn’t believe a word this guy says?