The G Manifesto

Watch for the Hook, and Don’t forget to Duck

“The C stands for Cool Breeze who’s known as the champ
Freddy Calhoun, the coolest cutta at camp
Ay, my one’s and my two’s got your whole town shook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook!”

—–Select lyrics from “Watch For The Hook” by Cool Breeze (G Manifesto Certified underground ATL classic)

So I am sure you all heard about the city of Chicago banning the sale of the delicacy Foie Gras. Here is yet another example of government intrusion on our personal lives. I really think we need to get our priorities straight. I mean seriously, don’t we have bigger problems than Goose and Duck liver? And of all places, banning it in Chicago. Here is a city were we have poverty, violence and drug problems. Mayor Daley was the only voice of reason and said “We have children getting killed by gang leaders and dope dealers. We have real issues here in this city. And we’re dealing with Foie Gras?”

First of all, I can’t believe Mayor Daley couldn’t squash this nonsense. I can’t remember a time when a Mayor of Chicago with the last name Daley didn’t have the spot on lock. This obviously isn’t our father’s Chicago. I really miss Irish Democratic Machine Politics.

Second of all, what is the reason for banning Foie Gras? Radicals say that the “overfeeding of ducks” to make Foie Gras is inhumane. Isn’t the “underfeeding of humans” inhumane as well? Seriously, we have children growing up around the world and in our country malnourished and starving, and we are worried about giving ducks too much to eat? Its not like ducks are endangered. It’s not like it’s the Sturgeon from the Caspian Sea that might go extinct. Why don’t these people go to any park in any city that has a pond, all you will see is ducks. And who knows if the ducks don’t like being overfed. Has anyone asked the ducks if they don’t like it? It has to be better than being a hungry duck, right? I haven’t noticed Daffy or Donald taking a public stand against Foie Gras. Personally, I like overeating. Many times I like overeating Foie Gras! And smoking cigarettes and gulping wine with a Bulgarian Model Girl, while Zegna down. In fact, there are few things I like more. Have any of these people who are so against Foie Gras actually tried it? I doubt it, because the stuff is delicious!

I really cannot relate to the minds of these people who are against Foie Gras. How can this be their top priority? Think bout it. If you were so in favor of ducks rights, wouldn’t you also be against violations on human rights? Anti-war perhaps? Everyday Americans die in the Middle East, but you want to spend your energy stopping the sale of Foie Gras? What is next? Stopping the sale of Live Lobster Sashimi? Personally, I like seeing a Live Lobster look at me while I am eating it. Are you gonna try to take away that pleasure as well? Why not go after factory farming of pigs and chickens. Factory farming does more harm to animals, people, and the environment that Foie Gras does. Why don’t they go after Pizza Hut for cheapening Italian Culture and serving fake cheese? That stuff cannot be good for anyone. Charlie Trotter (who first came out against Foie Gras) really screwed this one up. One of my good friends who lives in Chicago, (who is G certified, armored car heists are his specialty) wanted to shove this Trotter guy in an oven, when he heard that even Trotter said the government shouldn’t decide for people. (You don’t know how close you came Trotter………..)

Side Note:

If you have been hanging around boxing gyms since Oscar De La Hoya dismantled Ricardo Mayorga, you have probably heard the rumors that De La Hoya and I might meet in the ring. True, if this fight happens, it would set a record for the most girls ever attending a boxing match. And true, I haven’t been in a ring since the amateur days and some unlicensed bare-knuckle boxing matches in the mid 90’s in London (when I was working with some Firms on the East End), but I can tell you De La hasn’t faced anyone with my body attack. You remember when my main man Hopkins took out De La with a liver punch right? Where do you think he got that tip? But the fight will probably never happen. I don’t think De La would want to fight above 160lbs, and I am not dropping below 168….I enjoy Foie Gras too much……..The Rest is Up to You………..

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

JR Writer version, Watch for the Hook

Cool Breeze, Watch for the Hook!!!!!

The Smoking Gun

“I got just one question for rappers that disrespect me, what do you want to be cremated or buried”

“The wake… the funeral… and the burial… after that nobody remembers you, so as long as you alive, get your revenue, stop hating on us that’s what you better do.”—Papoose from “The Boyz in the Hood” (G Manifesto Certified Track of the Week)

First California, then NYC, then Florida, now Washington, DC. All places you can not light up a cigarette in a bar or restaurant. California was a hopeless cause, but the NYC smoking ban was a big surprise. Miami obviously would never have supported a smoking ban, with all the Latin American and European tourists, but the State of Florida (which might as well be Mars compared to Miami) made it happen. But something about The Capital of The Free World banning smoking, smacks me in the face the wrong way.

So now the city council has decided that they know, better than employees, customers and Owners of restaurants and bars what is “best” for them? They have decided that it was not fair for workers to have the option to work in a smoking or smoke free environment. They have decided that it was completely oppressive to have a smoking and non-smoking room. They have decided that a Private business owner cannot have the option to allow his patrons, who want to smoke, to smoke. They have decided that no reasonable compromise can be found.

This is the Capital of the Free World, and you could be a fireman from the Hornet’s Nest and rescue a baby from a burning building, but you can’t go to a bar after work and light up a grit and have a Guinness in a bar. You can lobby Congress to give Billions of dollars to a War in Iraq (and cause thousands of young Americans to die before their time), but you cannot celebrate your lobbying efforts in a bar with a Montecristo no.1 and a Scotch, because it’s to “dangerous”. You can meet up with a Swiss Ford Model Girl from NYC but you can’t enjoy the buzz created by a bottle of Rioja and cigarettes with her in Adams Morgan. What is this country becoming? Dante’s Inferno?

The craziest thing about this ban in particular is that it is not even people in DC that want it. It’s a bunch of over-funded, over-moral jerks from New Jersey! People in DC have real problems on their hands, like daily gun violence, poverty, shitty schools, and a still active Crack Cocaine epidemic. The people behind this attack on our right to choose, never even go out at night!

Even if you are not a smoker, you have to be very wary of this affront to Property Rights, Consumer Choice, and Personal Freedom. What is next? Telling people that they cannot drink in Bars because when people get drunk they have a higher chance of getting violent, and it’s not “safe” for people?

Have we really become healthier since these bans started? Have people started to live longer? Does anyone want to live longer? Even in California, the land of health, everywhere you turn, people are obese and out of shape. Who was the last good boxer that California produced? Ricardo Mayorga and Arturo Gatti are the two most exciting boxers of recent memory and they both smoked! Mayorga even lights up in the ring! America is a heart attack waiting to happen. Why don’t we say people can’t eat fast food? But it’s the smoking that killed the fat guy who never exercised, right? Why don’t we crack down on White Girls that can’t dance in nightclubs? Or shitty DJ’s playing safe, crappy music in clubs? Or the club owners who can’t stop opening up “modern lounges” and lack original ideas? The pain of watching white girls dance has taken years off my life…….

My favorite reason for the smoking ban is because “Smoking imposes a heavy cost on society”. If smoking really kills people before their time then the savings on Medicare and Social Security would be enormous! If we really want to solve these crisis in our country, let people smoke! The Democrats could probably even convince Homo-phobic Middle America to vote their way if they used this as a platform.

Is smoking really more dangerous than other legal drugs like alcohol and caffeine? Does anyone spaz out on cigarettes like they do on Caffeine? Does someone crash their car killing innocent pedestrians because they are so fucked up from smoking cigarettes? Does anyone cheat on their wife and undermine the American family unit because they were so wasted on cigarettes?

The taxes on cigarettes are out of control as well. Increased Taxes have not stopped teenagers from smoking (as the geniuses thought it would). In fact, it has opened the doors for Smuggling and Organized Crime a la Prohibition. This actually is a decent business angle. In fact here is a free investment tip: Personally, I am liquid, long oil, long gambling, and long cigarette smuggling.

Let’s look at the facts:

Adolf Hitler, non-smoker
Gandhi, enjoyed an occasional smoke
Benedict Arnold, non-smoker
Albert Einstein, smoker
Ayatollah Khomeini, non-smoker
John F. Kennedy, smoker
Osama Bin-Laden, non-smoker
Notorious BIG, smoker
That balding jackass from that shitty 90’s rock/rap band Blimp Liscut, non-smoker
Frank Sinatra, smoker
Idi Amin, non-smoker
Pablo Picasso, smoker
J. Edgar Hoover, non-smoker
Nelson Mandela, enjoyed an occasional smoke
Pol Pot, non-smoker
George Washington (and all the founding fathers!), smokers
Charles Manson, non-smoker (believe it or not)
Bill Clinton, smoker (obviously)
David Koresh, non-smoker
Christopher Columbus, loved smoking!
And most importantly Girl Models Smoke!

Draw your own conclusions………

Anytime government infringes on our personal freedoms, we are in trouble. So do what I do: Light up in bars anyway. And carry extra CASH to pay for the fines. Compromise, Personal Freedom, Options, and Choice are what make our country great. Attacking these values only destroys our great country. I think I need to spend next winter in Rio di Janeiro, I know those girls can dance………..The Rest is Up to You……

Emails of the week in regards to last week’s G Manifesto: Insight into the world of Suits

“I just tore my stained Dickies off from back to front like a circus
clown. My Calvin Klein jacket has been serving as a chick repellent
for the past 10 years of my life, I had no idea and I am disgusted about
it. I just robbed 10 g’s from my dying best friend and I’m heading to grab me an Oxxford. Many thanks for the insight to suiting up like a G. G’s up, hoes down, now you mutha fuckas bounce to this!!!!”

“I just slipped into my new Oxxford suit pants and my rocket almost blew out the right pant leg. This is the best 10 G’s I ever stole and spent. Thanks Fisto, my ass meter is already in the red, game on mother fucker!!!”

Side Note:

A lot of people have been wondering if there was an assassination attempt on my life recently during the break of The G Manifesto. All I will say is next time bring more people. You didn’t know I was handy with the steel? Desert Eag. “You can’t take me out the picture I’m photogenic, I wash both of you all up even your co-defendant”—Papoose

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)