Dates and The Vino Move

So, you met a fly girl out at night and she has agreed to go out on a date with you. What should you do? Should you take her to the movies to see that new Hollywood blockbuster? Should you take her to that new “hot” club in town where every guy is wearing striped “party” shirts and the DJ has no skillz? Should you take her to go see the new band she really likes? Should you play the “intellectual guy” and take her to a coffee shop for stimulating conversation? Should you just let her pick the place?

There are many different angles to take on a date with a girl, and most of them are wrong. In fact, the answer to all the above questions is “NO”. Movies are terrible in general and the girl will probably fall in love with the actor in the movie (who actually probably doesn’t even like girls). The club is a bad move because you leave yourself open to all kinds of sharks who “prey” on girls that are with guys on a first date. The live music thing? No dice. Why would you bring a girl to some gig where some other guy is the star? Coffee shop? Hell no, no cocktails. Let her pick the place? Are you insane?….that’s the easiest way to get “Behind Enemy Lines” (which of course we know how to deal with from a prior G Manifesto Tip). Here is how you do a date with a fly girl………. G Manifesto Style…….:

1. Choose the place. Never let the girl pick the place, or you’ll end up going to The Olive Garden for what she calls “the best Italian food I have ever had”. You need to pick the spot, preferably your “Base of Operations” or a new spot that’s mind blowing that you heard about from word of mouth or referral. Taking a fly girl to your Base will only increase your status at your Base, and also the girl will be impressed by the red carpet treatment you’re receiving. So everything works all the way around.

2. Make her meet you there. This part is extremely important as you will find out soon enough. Meeting the girl at your Base of Operations keeps your more agile and you don’t have to drink and drive. Also, this is what the Europeans and sophisticated city people do…they “meet up” or as the French say they “rendezvous”. White Trash suburban people go pick up the girl for the date…

3. Stake out a good spot in the restaurant. Always have your back to the wall. This way you can see everyone coming in….i.e. her current boyfriend, rival players, hit squads or members of P-2 (Propaganda Due, the renegade Italian espionage organization). Also, try to get there before her. This way if anything unforeseen happens (like your favorite bartender is sick) you will have plenty of time to establish rapport with the new bartender and Lock the place down “on the fly”. Plus this will give you some time to drink a couple of Grey Goose and Sodas to smooth it out…..

4. Once the girl arrives, always greet her with the “two-kisses” greeting. This always puts American girls under the “ether”. Or maybe it’s the custom made Canali suit with no vents. Either way, keep her hypnotized with upbeat, positive conversation. Travel is always a good topic of conversation to make sure there are no uncomfortable silences until the booze kicks in. Tell her stuff she has never heard before like, “the history of nightclubs in America” (which is easy for me since my parents took me to Studio 54 when I was seven years old) or about the real life “Keyser Soze” (who I won’t mention his real name) and how he controls America (which is easy for me since I know who he is and in fact my little brother is good friends with his son).

5. The Vino Move. As the night progresses, keep the Vino flowing at a brisk pace. Grease the bartender or waiter to make sure your wine glasses always stay full. In reality, these bottles don’t have to be the most complex/expensive bottles. First of all she probably won’t be able to tell the difference anyway, and second, sometimes it becomes a head ache analyzing every sip (“do you taste the black currant?” “Can you see how the wine is opening up?”) Just pick a good solid red; I prefer Bordeaux or a good Rioja. The whole point of this is you want the girl to be too drunk to drive herself home. (Lets be honest, the whole point of the date was too able to bring the girl back to your crib or a boutique hotel anyway.) After multiple bottles of red the girl will probably be in love with you anyway, and if she isn’t, she will be when you tell her that “I can’t let you drive, we have had too much to drink, let’s go to my crib for a glass of water”. The craziest part of all this is she will think you are a true Gentleman!

At this point in the night you will usually hear her say, “Ok, I will come to your crib, but I will not sleep with you…..” It is at this point in the night when you can truly relax and light up a smoke with your Zippo, because you are truly home free. Anytime a girl utters those words you can bet your last dollar that she will be tearing off the expensive Canali fabrics you have on the minute your key touches the lock of your door………..The Rest is up to You……….

The emails of the week in reference to: G Manifesto Tip: San Francisco, North Beach Cioppino, and The Pizza Move

“Once again the “Big G” shows how to manipulate the inner organs of America’s finest cities.”

“Man, i never even wanted to be a player, and now that i have seen the shining light from above, i know i was meant to be a “G.” I have just a couple of questions though… Where do you find a tailor that can make polyester look good, and should i put new duct-tape in the backseat of my pinto?”
———-skip the polyester, go with Italian silk, and ditch the pinto, pick up a cadillac———MPM

“Do people really live like this? Um, I don’t really see the point of this. Well written and all, but shouldnt it really be labeld ‘how to be a player’? Essentially, thats what you were describing, or maybe a a playboy, or a trustfund baby. Is this all you think there is to life? Well written, but maybe you need to evaluate your priorities some more. Maybe it’s just me, but this bothered me a little. You are a good writer, maybe you can actually write something of substance next time. Amy.”

——–Aren’t all girls named “Amy” the same? I met tons of girls named Amy in my life, and I can’t picture one of them. And you know what they say about pictures……… To be honest, Amy, this is written for true G’s and aspiring G’s. My “priorities” include (but not limited to): getting more out of life, having fun, dressing sharp, being a protector of the helpless, getting in touch with my spiritual side, dating models, influencing world politics for the betterment of humanity, making money and rolling around with High-Society girls (in no particular order). If these “priorities” are a crime, then lock me up…….——–MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Butcher
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(You can now subscribe to The G Manifesto Mailing list on the website www.thegmanifesto.com so you wont miss any tips….feel free to forward on to your friends as well)

San Francisco is a very G friendly city. You have chopable Gentleman’s Clubs, High-End Hotels, a diverse female population, and minimal competition (most of the guys are “window shoppers” with no game). San Francisco is also open late and the streets are very lively: a perfect venue to display “Street Game”. With a set up like this, sometimes I feel I will look in the sky and see a blimp that reads “The World is Yours”. The Restaurants are also some of the best in the USA and there are plenty of first rate late night dining options. Try getting some good food like foie gras, burratta, and Steak Tartare in most cities after 11 pm and you will come up empty handed. Unless “good food” means for you, Denny’s “moons over myhami” or 3 rolled Taquitos with guacamole. One thing to really try before leaving San Francisco is Cioppino…..

Cioppino is a fish stew mixed together greatly influenced by the Old Country (for those of you who don’t know what time it is). It was however created by fishermen who settled in the North Beach section of San Francisco. Michael Mina can put together a decent Cioppino. However, the recipes for this dish are kept highly secret. Now, I am not going to tell you how to make Cioppino, I leave that to the experts. What I am going to tell you in is a perfect “recipe” for swooping mad girls in San Francisco…… a “North Beach Cioppino” of sorts…….

The two ingredients (types of girls) you want to focus on in San Francisco are the “Sophisto” girls and the “Fly” girls. The Sophisto’s are the intellectual “elite” that are relatively high end, educated, and might know more about wine and haute cuisine than you. The Fly girls have no idea what white truffles are but they can do the splits upside down in a one-handed handstand, back-flips, or at least dance really dope. Both types of girls have a big value proposition associated with them. The Sophistos can help you navigate the High-end side of San Fran, and the Fly girls, well….its pretty obvious. My perfect Recipe is: one part Sophisto girl and two or three parts Fly girls. Here is how you mix up a night in San Fran….G Manifesto style.

Step one, meet the Sophisto girl at a dope spot like Traci Dejardin’s spot, Jardiniere (you can drop my name if you want). Pay attention to all the knowledge the Sophisto girl has about the wine and food and commit to memory (this is good ammo for other girls in the future). Keep the vino flowing. Keep the conversation to things like “The History of Boutique Hotels in America” or something else high-end. Then strike. Roll back to your real “boutique” hotel (as opposed to phony ones like the W) on some premise like that you want her to see the design work in the lobby and your room. Close. It will probably be around 11pm and she will need to get back to her weesh boyfriend anyway. Perfect. Time to go back out, (how else are you going to swoop 100 plus girls in a year? Not by staying in and watching Sports Center, that’s for sure….) Time for……….

Step Two; link up with the first Fly girl at her work (most likely Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club). Enjoy the atmosphere with plenty of grey goose and sodas. Develop new leads (which should be easy in a hand-stitched 2 button Kiton with peaked lapels and a thick bankroll) while your waiting for your girl to have “a minute”. She will probably get off work around 4am and she will probably want you to be her date to some “Swingers Party” or something along those lines. Once the 4am meeting place is established “in stone”, leave the Gentleman’s Club (no need to over do it). Hit the streets in North Beach for some street game and a very specialized move ……

Step Three, now here is the Technique that works 100% of the time (also works on two Fly girls at once). It should be around 2 am by now, and you need to “kill” time until 4am. Here is how you do it: Hit the streets like an Arturo Gatti body punch. Suited down, Zippos, smokes and alter-egoing on Goose. Regular clubs should be letting out around this time. This is a beautiful time of night. The man with the best street game wins. Step to one (or two) of the best prospects and offer to buy them some Pizza (that’s why this is called The Pizza Move…skippy). Girls never turn it down (not sure why, but it always works…… could be the Brioni pocket square). As your eating pizza with the girls spit mad game and get them to roll back to your Boutique hotel as well. If you can’t pull this off, then your problems obviously don’t end there. Now you just need to fight a little for a cab (or have a driver on your payroll) and your home free.

Step 4, after you close; make some excuse about how you have to be in Macau for a poker tournament tomorrow or something to get the girls to leave. Then go meet the first Fly girl at 4:30 am at your meeting point and roll to the Swingers Party with a girl that has Pig-Tails and can do back-flips in tow. (We will cover these kinds of parties in another G Manifesto tip). Till then, ….The Rest is Up to You……

Emails of the week (2 positive and one kind of spazzy) in reference to past G Manifesto Tips:

“Great transition from “spandex batman suit” to “jewelry store heist” I don’t know of any contemporary or classic author who has ever attempted to do that let alone pull it off in true G Manifesto style. Not only the peoples champ but a literary genius. I’m naming my first born son, Michael Porfirio Mason. Keep them coming.”

“So powerful, compelling and stylish the G not only pulled off a major heist on Halloween Eve but he also probably slept with our wives in our beds while we were all passed out……..”.

—Very true—MPM

“For reals, dude? This is absolutely despicable and terrible and a disgrace to “journalism”. I fucking hated it! Congrats! All this blab about $2300 suits and keeping drivers on payroll and whatevers…you’re so full of shit. The people’s champ… whatevers man. On the other hand—if this were done in total irony: fantastic. But people like you don’t understand Irony, right? And even The Onion couldn’t come up with an editorial this fake and funny.–Ken”

—- First of all Ken, don’t call me “dude”. Second, where do people come from that say “for reals” and “whatevers”? Look skippy, just because you’re a bagger at Walmart doesn’t mean people can’t afford to buy nice clothes and have drivers. No, I actually don’t understand complicated concepts like “irony” but I do understand that you need to go back to your trailer park that you share with your parents. Also, who the fuck is “The Onion”? Your imaginary friend? What an incredible jagoff…….——MPM …..

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Locksmith
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

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Halloween Parties and Vampire Naps

(Click Here for The G Manifesto’s The Best Halloween Costumes for Guys)

As the Holiday Season approaches, the social calendar fills up with many options. Halloween parties generally kick off the whole Holiday party circuit and New Year’s Eve finishes the circuit. Halloween Parties, specifically can be very strong on paper: People in a festive mood, Drugs flowing freely, and Girls dressing in outfits that put the Women’s Movement back 20 years (I mean, what other time of year are you going to go home with a girl dressed in a “Brittany Spears” outfit?). And, don’t get me wrong, some of these parties live up to and exceed the hype. For instance, Hef throws a decent gig on Halloween and Versace used to throw a good gig in South Beach, Miami before his untimely death. However, it has been my long standing policy to “sit out” these Halloween parties and Holiday Parties in General (especially New Years…..any night that has it’s peak at 12am is not for the G). Why would you sit out such a “big” party night you ask? Keep reading and you will find out…young grasshopper.

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First of all, any time you try to set up a “big night”, your chance of failure is higher. It’s the whole high expectations thing. For me, “Tonight” is the most important night. I don’t care if it’s Tuesday night, Wednesday Night, or the Ides of March……any night can be a potentially a “Big Night”. I don’t need the people at Hallmark to tell me when it’s ok to get a little out of hand. Also, on Holidays, Girls tend to be a little more emotional, there are tons of Guys out, and also tons of Cops. So, if you happen to like Overly Emotional Girls, Tons of Guys and Tons of Cops, then I wish you the best of luck dressed in your Spandex “Batman” costume. What Halloween is however, is a great time for a Jewelry Store Heist……………

Robbing Banks and Heisting Jewelry stores isn’t what it used to be in the Days when our fathers and uncles where out there doing it. In this day and age, the FBI has computers, parabolic microphones, DNA samples, and drugged out Informers up the Kazoo. So as a full-time occupation, being a Heist Man has lost some of its luster. That being said, there is still a lot of upside in “hitting” a Jewelry store every now and again for “old time’s sake”. Number one, you don’t have to go thru a big interview process and drug test to get the job. Number 2, the hours are not long and you get plenty of vacation time. And Number 3, the Wages are phenomenal. And Halloween is the perfect time to do it…..

First of all, you don’t look suspicious, walking around in a mask, or a disguise! You just want to make sure you have a few things in order before you “wack” the Jewelry store.

1. Make sure you case the joint fully. Find a place that has at least $500,000 retail in the window. Know how many people work there and when are slow hours. “Clock” the joint, so you know the whole routine.
2. Do the job solo, or with one trusted Running Partner. Keep your crew small.
3. Have guns (Colt .38’s are good, they wont jam and you will have plenty of fire power if things get dicey), duct tape and bags to haul away the score.

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When the time is right, walk in (suited down of course, I like to wear a 3 button Zegna for style points….cost $2200, and make sure you have your disguise on) and ask the jeweler if you can look at one of the diamond bracelets in the case. As he opens the case, make your move and get the “drop” on him so he can’t hit the silent alarm. Tie him up in the back with the duct tape. Now, empty out as many open cases as you can. Sometimes you will get lucky, and the safe will be open (my first job ever, I got lucky). Make sure you walk…not run…out of the Jewelry store. You will be floating in “Thieves Paradise” anyway, so make sure you slow down the pace to not cause any suspicion. Drive off in the getaway car to designated hideout spot to inspect the loot. Many times leaving the “Job” on foot is the best course of action, like in Mid-Town Manhattan for instance.

Very important: Many heist men settle for too little when they are negotiating with Fences. Don’t do it. (We will handle negotiation in another G Manifesto tip.)

Leave the city that you did the “Job” in and let the heat die down. For instance, I am going to San Francisco this weekend….

I am not saying this is what I did over Halloween, but check the papers………………..

Vampire Naps

Many people stop me in the street or reporters come up to me, and ask me “How do you do it? How do you go out every night and have so much success?” Talk about a question that could take a lifetime to explain…………… Well, I will give you one big reason: Vampire Naps. Basically what a “Vampire Nap” is right before you go out, you jump in the Coffin you keep in your house, lie down in it and shut the coffin door. Meditate for 5 to 20 minutes or however long you have before you need to go out again. Do this, and you will feel completely refreshed and ready to stay out for another night. This is almost like some Eastern meditation thing. Now, keep in mind you don’t really need a Coffin, that’s just the image you want to keep in your head when you do this. Keep practicing, and you will be able to stay out night after night like the Fanged Ghoul Himself………..The Rest is Up To You………….

Side notes

Robert McCormick, the CEO of Sawis Communications who spent $241,000 in Scores was recently placed on unpaid leave………………….This Guy really should have read the G Manifesto Tip on Gentleman’s Clubs.

Also, the new James Bond is going to be outfitted in Brioni as stated in an earlier G Manifesto tip.

Emails of the week in reference to THE NINE HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE G’s:

“The G Manifesto once again brilliantly provides all of us Average Joes with a wake up call on life. He truly is a genius and innovator, a modern day Howard Hughes.”

“Good stuff. I’ve never seen that Covey guy at the playboy mansion either. I haven’t been this inspired since I read, “The Tao-Te Ching,” by Lao Tzu. Although Tzu’s theory of thought leans more to peace through passivity and not so much the self serving, misogynistic view point of a player. I can definitely find room on my bookshelf for both. Keep them coming.”

— It’s very comforting that other people out there understand The G Manifesto and all it has to offer—MPM

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

THE NINE HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE G’S

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There are a lot of “Self-Help Gurus” out there today. Many of these People write about their “Keys” to success in business, relationships, and life in general. None of these “experts” really know what its like to be a G. Most of the information these Guys are pushing is pure trash with no application to the Real World, the Night Club or the Street. In fact, if you have one of these guys’ books and a dollar, you can probably get a cup of coffee. And no chance at a double espresso in NYC……….

Many people have read the The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. Decent read. I think this guy is really on to something. For the G Manifesto Tip this week, we are going to give you Nine Habits. We are going to out-do that Covey guy by Two Habits. I mean who is this Covey guy anyway? I have never seen him at the Playboy Mansion, and I certainly have never seen him in South Beach at Model Parties during February……………..

1. Dress Sharp. In fact, dress as sharp as one of Miyamoto Musashi’s Samurai Katanas. You might not always be the smartest, richest, or best looking person in a room—but you can be the Sharpest Dressed. Work on the things you can control. Believe me, if you know my Tailor you can be the best dressed in any room you step into. Look at it this way, if you roll up to the spot dressed like Eminem, you better be able to flow like Eminem. Otherwise you command no respect on a first impression, nor should you. A lot of times on the west coast you will see guys get away with the whole “casual” look. That’s great. Watch what happens when they try to roll to the Big Cities back East and in Europe: you will see “Mr. Casual” waiting in line outside the Night Club, freezing there asses off in their Board Shorts and Flip-Flops with zero hope of gaining entrance (While someone like me, Kiton suited-down is dicing the line with two Hungarian Model chicks dressed in minks………who would you rather be?).

2. Knowledge. Knowing how many Passing Yards that Brett Favre jackass has thrown for this year doesn’t count. Every white trash jerk in every Sports Bar in America has that Data. You want to be “Worldly”. Know about current events. Get “inside information”. Travel, read, or least watch the Travel Channel for God’s sakes, so you can fake it. Everyone, and I mean everyone, finds Travel and Foreign lands interesting. At least anyone you want to get to know. And when I say “Travel”, I don’t mean taking a trip to the Trailer Park you grew up in on the outskirts of Phoenix. Go somewhere culturally stimulating, like Saint Tropez, France or Buenos Aires. (Just don’t go somewhere too exotic, like where the natives are cannibals or where you’ll catch Malaria or get some major stomach problems) Expand your horizons….

3. Skillz. Know how to open a bottle of wine with out “blowing it”. This is an easy one to master. Just go to a good wine store and buy a case, maybe try the 2004 Marquis Philips Shiraz…..open and drink each bottle…..by the time you finish the case you will know how to do open a bottle of Vino like a pro! As a side benefit you will be drunk for a few days. Also know how to open a Bottle of Champagne. Nothing ruins an evening better than having the girl of your dreams back at your hotel and you’re trying to open the Bottle of Bollinger Vieilles Vignes Francaises and have the cork shoot out and hit the girl in the eye….. Also learn some other languages besides just English (News just in….its a global world) …Know some phrases in French, Spanish, Italian, ….Somalian….I mean how are you ever going to swoop on a couple of Models from Denmark if you don’t know how to say “Why don’t you and your girlfriend come back to my crib, eat some E-Tabs and show me how you do Handsprings and Cartwheels…” in Danish?…………………..

4. Availability. Always go out at night. Even when you’re “taking it easy” you should go out at least Two nights a week. I don’t care how much Game you think you have, nothing good ever comes out of a night on the couch with the TV on (Think of the last great night you had sitting at home watching “Elimi-date”………………exactly.). And when you’re out, make it happen. Always be thinking Money and Girls. Those are your two goals. Every conversation should be about making connections to make more Scratch or maneuvering girls. “Enterprise while you Socialize”—Damon Dash, CEO Rockafella Records.

5. Be Persistent and Positive. The Robber Baron and Founder of Standard Oil, J.D. Rockefeller once said, “The secret to success is to get up early, work late and strike Oil”. Striking oil never comes from luck…it comes from hard work and being persistent. I can’t tell you how many nights I have gone out where I rolled to a restaurant—nothing really happening, then rolled to a club—nothing really happening, then rolled to a gentleman’s club—nothing really happening, then rolled to another better Gentleman’s Club—and……… Struck Oil! Non-G’s would have given up on the night at 2am. Not the true G. Be Confident. That’s the difference. Be in Control of your Destiny……Manifest Destiny…what you want to become you will become…and That is The G Manifesto in its simplest form. If you want and act like you have a Mansion in Barcelona, one day you will reach in your pocket and there will be the Keys to a crib in Barcelona……..

6. Don’t Sleep. “Money Never Sleeps”—Gordon Gekko. “A Shark Never Sleeps”—Famous Sports Agent. “Kings Don’t Sleep”—Well known G. That’s enough reason for me to know that little good comes out of sleeping. Look at the flip side of these Quotes: Broke, Minnow and a Pawn. Easy choice. If you need to, take naps. Plenty of time to sleep when you’re in a coffin. “I never sleep, cuz sleep is the cousin of death” –Nas Escobar

7. Network. Know people, and put people you know together. This will only make you a more valuable person and you can make Heavy Scratch off this too. Examples of people you should know: Politicians, CEO’s, Rich Cats, Union Bosses, Neighborhood Dons, Restaurateurs, Prize Fighters, Tailors, even Mechanics. Anyone really that can be of Value. Don’t be afraid to cross over into the Underworld as well. For instance, it is good to know a few beautiful “Fee for Service” girls you might want to turn on to someone your trying to do business with to “Grease” Thru a Deal. It’s always good to know a good Safecracker, or a first-rate Second Story Man. It has never hurt anyone to have some Yakuza Assassins (these guys are easy to take money off of in poker games) in their rolodex. You really should try to be a “Yellow Pages” of the Upperworld and Underworld. This will make you twice as valuable.

8. Be Ruthless. When you have the opportunity, you must Crush your Enemies and Rival Players. When you see the opening its not the time to let your inner “Ben and Jerry” come out (although I heard now these guys are ruthless business guys and big-time polluters…..safe to say I don’t run in the same circles as these two ice cream moguls/ hypocrites) and be all forgiving. You need to take these guys out completely. Take their heart, take their soul, take their girlfriend (of course, give her back at some point…you don’t need any extra headaches..)….just make sure the guy is finished.

9. Adaptability. Many so called “players” have a good run one summer. Some even go on a roll for a few years. Even less of the phony “G’s” out there will string together a number of “fruitful” years. Good. Great. Glad to hear it. How about, Being Razor Sharp thru 4 Decades? ………then Skippy….then you can sit at my “Poker Table”. Most guys don’t make it for the long term because they have no Adaptability. Just think of the early 90’s long haired “player” who bit Kurt Cobain’s style, had a full arsenal of flannel shirts, had every “Porno for Pyro’s” album and used to get mad chicks. I’ll bet heavy scratch that in 2005 he is laying on his couch, twitching, at some shitty crib in the desert somewhere with a crappy used-to-be hot Blonde wife with premature wrinkles that doesn’t even know how to cook. Poor guy, he used to have it all. Problem was he had no Adaptability. Or that late 90’s Pro-Athlete guy who was really “running things”. Now, his steroids are wearing off, his face is puffy, and his Cro-Magnon game gets him just about nothing. Problem was, he had no Adaptability. If you don’t Adapt you become extinct (When was the last time you saw a Dinosaur walking down the street?). I’ve seen it happen to many people, and Believe me, it isn’t pretty………..

Being a G for life is no easy task. Some people probably don’t even have it in them to do it. The above habits should be worked on and practiced every single day. This is how your dreams will be Manifested….Manifest Destiny….See you in the French Riviera…The Rest is Up To You………………………

Here is the email of the week regarding lasts weeks G Manifesto Tip: “Top to bottom…….. Solid!”

Here is another: “Another masterpiece!!!!”

I couldn’t agree more——–mpm

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ

The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Manifesto Destiny: The Gentleman’s Club

How to Pick Up Exotic Dancers

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This Decade so far has been a compendium of bad things: Horrible Natural and Terrorist disasters, astronomical oil prices (which I have made Money from because I know how to trade commodities), a war in the Middle East with the wrong Arabs, the male race turning into whining/ complainers, people not respecting their elders, people believing that White Trash is “cool”, messy hair being fashionable, Hip Hop culture morphing into materialistic crap for suburban white kids, the corporatization of what was once hip, people protesting restaurants serving foie gras, the persecution of smoking indoors, Reality TV.

The one thing that has stayed relatively unchanged thru the decade is the value of Gentleman’s Clubs. Although they have been cracked down on a little, they are still as relevant as ever. Today’s Manifesto Tip, is Beginner Concepts to making these joints pay for themselves. And pay attention, because if you have ever been in a Gentleman’s Club and seen the most beautiful girl you have ever seen, and said to yourself: “I wonder what kind of guy that girl goes home with after she gets off work?” The answer is: I am that Guy…………………………

1. Attire. We have already covered how you want to dress in other manifesto tips. Basically the only question you should be asking yourself is: “Should I wear a tie or not?” If you roll to the Gentleman’s Club with another guy a good move is: one with tie, one without. This way you have all your bases covered. While we are on the subject, rolling solo is a good move in these places. Going with someone else should only be done if the other person has plenty of game and is an advocate of “The Life”…….Look at the flip side: Stepping into the joint with 4 buddies with Sigma PI Alumni T-Shirts on is going to get you absolutely no where. At best you will end up looking like the other 5 Jerkoffs who are already in the Club with the Beta Nu shirts on….and trust me ….they aren’t getting anywhere either……….

2. Entrance. So roll in solo or with one other person who knows what time it is. Have a good positive vibe going. No need to yell and “whoop it up”…….keep it smooth….shake the bouncers hands…..These guys can potentially ruin your “close” later on in the night…so get them on your team…grease them….if you are starting to notice some common themes with prior tips, that’s good…that means your paying attention…(Also, if your in NYC at the Penthouse Executive Club, these guys will let you go in and out of the bar to smoke cigarettes with no hassle….I mean, what’s that worth? Certainly a C-Note)

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3. The Bar. After you have made your entrance, head to the Bar. Don’t get a table or sit by the stage. Every girl will try to fleece you and you will appear to be a “mark”. Plus, that’s what every jackass does when they walk into a Gentleman’s Club. The whole idea is to separate yourself from the Status Quo. News just in….The Status Quo does not end up going home with Exotic Dancers……Also, no lap dances…..for the same reason. Getting the bartender on your team is also a good move…if the bartender is a beautiful girl, all the better…..she can make a great ally and give you plenty on “intel” on the joint….and she may want to kick off her heels, stretch her legs and drink a glass of Vino with you at your luxury hotel suite as well……..

4. Vernacular. Make sure you use proper “speak” in Gentleman’s Clubs. Even if an Exotic Dancer refers to herself as a “stripper”, correct her, tell her she is an “Exotic Dancer”. If she calls it a “Titty Bar”, correct her…it’s a “Gentleman’s Club” This will transcend into your whole aura and girls will view you as a man of style and taste. This again will separate you from the sheep. Obviously, you want to be the Lone Wolf, Top Predator, with Top Pedigree in this “Ecosystem”. Growing up, Irish Mobster/ Playboy, Butch O’Farrell once told me (although I don’t approve of his choice of language), “Treat the queens like whores, and treat the whores like queens.” Obviously, this is an extreme example, but Butch makes a great point here (Butch………. rest in peace).

5. Drawing Exotic Dancers in. The $1800.00 suit you have on obviously helps. So does having plenty of smokes, a Zippo, and flashing a Big Bankroll when you buy Goose and Sodas. These girls tend to notice things like these better than “Civilian” Girls. Buy the Dancers plenty of drinks…no explanation necessary. Again, no need to yell, whistle or cat call. Seem disinterested…seem bored….like seeing naked girls is really no big deal for you…. (Which for me, isn’t a big deal, in fact a topless girl is rubbing my shoulders as I write this….) either way…at least act like this is just another night for you… (which for me, it is)…….very quickly, girls will be coming up and introducing themselves to you as if you were Sherman Billingsley at the Stork Club……

6. The Rap. The key to your rap is to get the girl to lower her guard, qualify the girl, and get her interested in what you have to offer. Keep in mind the most beautiful “Pam Anderson” type girl might not be the best move….go with the best prospect that you have the best connection with… (Plus, often times you have to compete with that Oil Sheik Money for the Pam Anderson ones). Once you have found the right girl, you need to have the right answers to topics that will always come up: Your Occupation? Now is not the time to be honest and tell her you are an Accountant……or a computer Programmer….or that you’re in town for an Insurance Salesman’s Conference. Come up with something mysterious and interesting i.e.…..”I am involved in Import/ Exports based out of Miami” or “I do Leveraged Buyouts” or “I am in the Emerald Business with offices in Switzerland and Columbia” …………when I was younger, I went with: “I am a Stuntman in Hollywood…mostly Car and Motorcycle stunts with some fight scenes…you have seen “Heat” with Pacino?…right?…” The point is come up with something vague, that implies CASH, organized crime, or something dangerous or cool……just make sure the story is air tight. For instance, if you go with the Emerald business, make sure you know that “three main Emerald mining areas in Colombia are the Muzo, Coscuez and Chivor mines” just in case the girl’s dad was an Emerald Trader. Or if your a stunt man, and you drop some movies that you were in, know the names of the real stunt men in the movies from the credits and say that was your “alias”….you get the point.

Do a lot of name dropping. Tell girls that Chris Pacello of Liquid was a good friend of yours before he got sent up the river. Or how Jean-George Vongerichten is one of your business partners…..don’t be afraid to get a little Hollywood, maybe say that Andy Garcia is one of your cousins on the Spanish side…or Mickey Rourke is your 2nd cousin on your Irish side….(News just in….Exotic Dancers actually like that Hollywood crap).

Make some subtle, big plans with the girls. For instance: “I do a lot of Banking in the Bahamas……for tax reasons…..have you ever been to The Atlantis? You haven’t? ……I have a place there….we should go next time I go down there…….its so beautiful…..”

7. The Close. The art of closing is more in what leads up to the close than the actual close itself. The clichéd move is the drugs/cocaine close….although I am not an advocate, this is known to be very effective close, but is far from artistic……Asking the girl to meet you at the lobby bar in a 5-star hotel or at a great open restaurant are also very effective closes….My favorite close I am saving for another manifesto… (Hey, I told you these were going to be beginner tips……)

These tips when used correctly, are extremely effective. The only competition you will face will be from Pro-Athletes, Musicians on MTV, and Hollywood Actors. However, I can recall an evening in Ricks Cabaret in New Orleans when there was a singer from some crappy, famous band, a Superstar from the World Champion Chicago Bulls, a well-known Actor and myself all enjoying the “subdued environment” of Ricks. Although these three guys are at the top of their “respected” fields, they were all “riding the bench” when I was in the Club with them, as I came out Tops on the night……….true story….The Rest Is Up To You…….

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Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com/

(The G Manifesto is really starting to become critically acclaimed. A famous New York Publicist has recently called me: “The Voice of a Generation”……funny, the only thing I can remember my Voice saying consistently is “Princess, I’ll meet you at the Lobby Bar of the Ritz-Carlton in a half an hour”………go figure)

t-pain im in love with a stripper
I’m in Luv with a stripper