Doing Drugs and Picking Up Girls
Doing Drugs and Picking Up Girls
Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well.
Let’s make things nice and sparkling clear, I have said before that The G never uses drugs to inebriate girls, and considers doing so, a horrible crime. But since it has never been done before, and people keep on asking me, I put together an EZ reference sheet for the up and coming G to know which drugs are best to be on for Picking up Girls.
(Disclaimer: I am not admitting to any drug use, and this reference sheet is best read with the word “allegedly” in front of every sentence.)
Cocaine: On paper, seems like a great drug to be on while picking up girls. But it’s not. Even caine filled Kools suck. Beeks are the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled on the G (next to convincing the world he didn’t exist). You get way too tweeked out, it is highly addictive and it hurts sexual performance. Your Game goes up the dollar bill as well; you get more into the drug than you do girls. Plus, it makes you look older; like using cologne on your face. Careful with this one. I have lost many a droog from the mirror, the razorblade and the straw.
Extasy: Fly girls are always trying to get next to me, and I have had some beautiful experiences on Extasy. You can spit mad innovative Game flows on Beans. The man of the hour has an air of great power. Chemically, it makes you glow, so girls sweat you like a sparring session at The Wild Card in summertime. Beans also make your pupils dilate which makes girls fall in love with you. Downside: Makes your back feel like a wind up doll. And you think every fly girl is the greatest girl ever. Once you come back down to earth, you usually change your opinion. But what’s some spinal fluid between you and a fly girl?
Crack: Sure, Rick James swooped mad girls while puffing rocks and base. But this stuff gets you way too out of your mind to spit coherent Game. And it will send you on a downward spiral. You remember what happened to G Money, right?
Rick James – You and I
Heroin: Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark, there was an era when lots of fly rich girls and models were on H. I avoided that scene, although I think I smoked that shit once. Gets you too dozy to swoop girls. Careful with this one too. I have lost many a droog to the spoon, the flame and the spike.
The Velvet Underground – Heroin
Marijuana: I have given my thoughts on Weed before. And already told The Greatest Pick up Line of All Time. You can definitely swoop girls while high on Chron. But you can get too high on heavy duty Chronic if you take huge rips out of glass bongs and your Game can suffer. Puff Jays instead.
Meth: Not really good for much except if you want to chill in crappy towns, heist crankster gangsters and go on a collision course with a jail cell. Or a desert grave. I have seen many a Southern California Prom Queen turn into a Southern California Prom Fiend on this stuff.
Special K: Back when Strike used to Clock and drink Chocolate Mousse, I always swooped mad girls on Special K in NYC at NV and Match. But I think it had to do more with my tight Game than it did the drug. All in all, I don’t recommend. Too trippy.
GHB: GHB can be similar to Beans if you take the right amount. If you don’t, you can end up more twisted than cornrows. Avoid.
Vicodin: I have swooped girls on Vikes, but generally speaking, they flip my head too bad and make me want to sleep. Like Amsterdam Nap style.
Hashish: I am a city slicker, I ain’t no townie, and right now I wish I had another hash brownie. But I always liked puffing it more. When I was a young prototype G, I put on some of the most dynamic Game performances high on Shish, swooping topless girls on French, Spanish and Portuguese beaches in summertime. I was mildly surprised that Time Magazine didn’t put me in “Most Influential” in those days (I would have respectfully declined) under the builders and the titans. With Rupert Murdoch, the Billionaire Boys and some dudes you never heard of.
Acid: Acid is another drug I swooped fly girls on, but I don’t think it was because of the drug. These days, you are apt to say too many weird things and get too many strange visuals to properly chop up proper Game.
Easy Rider – Steppenwolf – The Pusher
Mushrooms: I have met some “Shroom Gurus” in my day, and I can safely say I am not one of them. I had one friend that said he could “read girls minds” on Shrooms. Although he swooped mad girls on mushys, I tend to doubt he could tell what girls were thinking. All in all, peaking is too heavy duty and too confusing on shrums.
Peyote: I think I did that shit once. Just playing. Who knows? Ask Jim Morrison. Probably, good if you want to go on a Vision Quest though.
PCP: Good for drive-by’s with Latinos and Eses, rolling on Pico with Fredrico, not for swooping girls.
Rohypnol: Gets you way too faded. Menace II Sobriety like O-Dog and Caine to your Game.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, this decade’s Nightlife is in bad need of the new Ecstasy. And by “bad need”, I mean like a person who has been stabbed 20 times with a shank is in bad need of some pressure, some gauze and a blood transfusion.
And throw in Double Espressos if you missed out on your Vampire Nap.
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
James Brown – King Heroin
THE TEMPTATIONS “CLOUD NINE”