Here is my Saturday night Step-By-Step™ for Montreal:
1. Go say what up to the crew at Le Filet. Go for a little grind, get the Huitres Garnies like the Hon Shimeji, huile de truffe, creme d’huitres or Gratin de miso. Thank me later. Finish off with the Hamachi, sesame, sumac and Rilletes de Maquereau, fume, huile citron and toast. (You might want to make a reservation at the bar, which is something I love about Montreal). Get some vino and some cocktails in your system. Alternate opening salvo: Hit up Lemeac or Juni and package with Baldwin, although I like those spots better during the week. Or maybe Pixtos, although I like that place better during the week also.
2. Head over to St. Laurent and get another warm up cocktail at Kamasutra and spit some Game at some dancers for insurance purposes.
3. Walk down St. Laurent and spit some Street Game at some fly Montreal girls with dark hair and crystal blue eyes. Stop by Globe for a cocktail and a spit session. Work the Vortex Zones at the bar.
4. Skip the line at Koko (you do have the place on Lock Down, right?) and make it happen.
5. If things you are chopping up Koko too hard and need a venue change, roll over to Rosalie and detonate.
2. Hit up New City Gas. Like I said before, I am rarely impressed by nightlife venues anymore. New City Gas impressed me. Make sure you get there early, which is something not exactly easy for me to do. This place is mad packed with fly Montreal girls dress up real fly. Spit some Game at this spot and get a couple of girls to meet you at:
3. L’Atelier d’Argentine. This place is mad fly on Thursdays. Fly hostesses, fly girls inside and dope Argentinian food. How can you go wrong? The place also has two bars to sit, eat, post and chop.
4. Cavalli. Next, hit up Cavalli. Thursday nights are their best nights.
5. If you can’t make it happen at any of the above three spots, your problems don’t end there. (No shame, I had nights where I bricked at all three). My advice if you still need to swoop? Hit up the Strip Clubs. Or a little Street Game.
On my first trip to Montreal, I wrote up a Montreal, Canada: Nightclub and Restaurant Data Sheets. Look at this as an update after spending 4 months in Montreal this summer. Again, this is easily the best info you will find out there. When I was in Montreal, a lot of the stuff you will find on the Internet actually steered me wrong. But I am here for you, keeping in underground for you and ripping the lid off the wack info that is out there, Oh my brothers.
I hope you guys appreciate this, hell, I would have given someone 10k in a brown paper bag if they would have given me this Data Sheet before I arrived in Montreal.
Wood 35 – This place gets a lot of high marks from people. I think it sucks. I actually called it “Brick 35”. It is unfortunate because “on paper” it seems it would be good. There are fly girls, but the set up is atrocious. All these standing tables make the place too “static”. No Vortex Zones. No “swirl”. One of these days, I am going to have to jump back into the Nightclub Game, this time as an owner or investor and show everyone what time it is. I guarantee I would be the top Nightclub Owner in the world in 6 months. I am not trying to brag or boast, the competition is just that wack.
New City Gas – As you know, I don’t get impressed by nightlife venues very often. Last year I was impressed by Andres Carne de Res in Bogota, Colombia. Well, New City Gas impressed the hell out of me. Thursday nights are pretty damn mindboggling on the outside terrace. The place holds mad fly classy girls. It is almost hard to deal with. The only problem is you have to get there kind of early for happy hour, and as you know, The G doesn’t do happy hour. That sh*t is for corporate stiffs, not International Playboys. Still, this place is as ill as a convict that kills for “phone time”.
Santos – This is another place heavily hyped by people on the Internet. It pretty much sucks. I went here a bunch of times because I lived pretty close, but it never really holds top quality girls, has a lot of guy and a lot of tourists f*cks. Overrated. This place comes weak like FEMA during Katrina.
Koko – Now this place is mad fresh. The outside terrace is unbeatable. I had this whole place on lock. I was destroying this place in June so bad that I was contemplating building a conveyor belt from the terrace to my bedroom in my crib to shuttle fly girls. But then at the end of June/early July, they closed the terrace. I think for noise reasons or something. I never really got a straight answer. Which really sucked because I was gutting this place on a nightly basis. It still remained a great spot the rest of the summer, but nothing like June. After the terrace closed, I used it more to take girls as I had the bouncers on lock and I could roll in at any time even with huge lines. And I don’t mean Beaks, either. Place has some Underworld figures hanging out. So I fit just right in. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights.
Tokyo – Another place that is heavily hyped on the Internet. I stayed away for a while because outside of The G Manifesto, the info you get on the Internet sucks. It is almost a “reverse barometer”. But my curiosity got the best of me and I stepped in one night. I stepped out soon after. F*ck this place, yo.
Philemon – I used Philemon many times. People love it. I thought it was decent and functional. Not a great place to meet girls but a good place to take them. Upperclass crowd. Usually more guys than girls. Good staff that always took care of all my needs. Probably could have swooped a few of the girls that worked there, but I was clocking a bunch of girls out of there, and didn’t want to rock the boat, so to speak.
Bar Blizzarts – This place has been around for a long time, but I didn’t really feel it. It is quite possible I went on the wrong nights, but I walked by many times and didn’t seem to have any real punch.
Bar Korova – Another hyped place. It sucks. Wack spot. Wack people. F*ck this place too, yo.
Rosalie – Now this place is dope. Wednesdays are sick. Almost too much of a good thing though. This was where I took a loss to George St. Pierre. I like Saturdays more. More chill, but still fly girls. Easier to operate. And swoop. You know how I gets down.
Macaroni – Didn’t feel this place. Nice terrace, but not holding fly girls.
Time Supperclub – This place is pretty fresh. Swooped some real fly girls out of this joint. It is a higher end crowd, although the first time I went (during Montreal Grand Prix), I saw a girl kick another girl. Like a full on “high kick”. Trippy. This place kind of has a “local crew” that kind of operates out of here with some Underworld aspect to it too. Tread lightly as I think beefs could be easy to come by.
B-side – Hipster joint. Whatever.
Muzique nightclub – I stepped in here once I think. Nothing special.
Ivy nightclub – Skip it.
Le Salon Daomé – Never went, but wanted too.
Wunderbar – In W hotel. I historically hate fake boutique hotels like The W, and my hatred for them is well documented, but this place is ok. Super fun during Grand Prix for private party. Other than that, didn’t utilize too much.
Hotel del la Montage – Rooftop bar. Cool place to take a girl. Other than that, not really dope.
Laika – Airball.
Burgundy Lion – Pub with a strong reputation. A girl took me here one time on the way back from a dope sushi meal. It’s ok. I never went after. Is right across from Joe Beef, so you could package the move if you want.
House Nightclub – I have this place in my notes but for the life of me can’t remember anything about it. Must have sucked.
Club 1234 – Never went in, but did meet some fly 18 year olds in front of it while they were waiting for some guys. They were mad fly. Younger girl spot I think.
Velvet – in Old Port. Pretty loose. In cave-like downstairs. You can meet girls here, but there was something about the place that didn’t vibe with me. Guys were kind of dorks. Maybe I don’t like caves.
L’ confessional – Plays dope music. Crowded and small but pretty dope. Good place to take a girl after a grind in Old Port and then rachet it up a notch on the road to “swoop land”.
Taverne St. Sacrement – The owner is cool as f*ck. Although he tries to get me super wasted and throw my Game off. Good food too.
Cavalli – I have a love/hate with Cavalli (and I don’t mean that place Love-Hate in Miami Beach, either). I loved it on my first trip so I went here many times last summer. Overall, I think the place is overrated. The DJ sucks. Hard to really “lock and load”. The staff is nice though and there are fly girls. Lot’s of dorks. There are supposedly some “working girls” here, but I never noticed any or was ever solicited. Keep in mind that I always heard there were “working girls” in Cavalli from civilian girls, so the info is highly suspect.
Hotel Le St-James – Real high-end, oh my brothers. Classy. Smooth. Good place for a strong cocktail. The prices keep out the riff-raff.
St. Paul Hotel– Hambar. The first time I went to Montreal, they had an old-school classy bar that I thought I was going to utilize a lot. They revampted it into a more modern bar. It shouldn’t be a surprise that I preferred it old-school. Still, a good spot to take a girl. All the girls that worked there loved me so I can’t hate.
Baldwin – One of these “cocktail mixologist” type bars. Real popular. Better during the week to bring a girl. I did swoop a Model girl out of here though. Weekends I never really went, although one time I walked by in early September, and there were like 20 guys in line. I shouldn’t have to tell you I “walked on by” like Isaac Hayes. There are some real good restaurants on the same block or two so this is a real good package move. I will bust out those restaurants in my coming soon Montreal Restaurant Data Sheets.
Globe – Heavily hyped, but not bad. Some real fly girls. Good to package with Koko, as in come here before going to Koko. Never ate here. I don’t like eating at super trendy spots.
La Porte Rouge – Hipster bar.
Circus – After hours. I went here a few times. There are some fly girls. It gets deep quick here though. You can pretty easily score drugs here. Although I wouldn’t know anything about that. Probably better to take two girls here that are real live wires. And then take them back to your crib.
Bily kun – Famous. Overrated.
Diable Vert – Supposed to be good. It sucks.
Candi Bar – Supposed to be good. It sucks. Did an “about-face” before I could by a drink.
UN Nightclub – Somehow I never made it in here even though it was close to my crib. It is open weird nights so make sure you check that before you go. I saw some fly girls roll in though.
16 Things I Learned In Montreal After Living There
1. Student Protests. Before arriving in Montreal the Internet was ablaze with thoughts that the Student Protests “would screw up Game in Montreal”. This was 100% false. (Typical weesh Internet data that you find outside The G Manifesto.) The protests actually went down my street two nights in June. They might have slowed traffic a little here and there, but had no effect on nightlife and swooping as far as I was concerned.
2. Hockey. It’s true, pretty much everyone in Montreal loves hockey. Even the girls. Maybe this isn’t a surprise to many, but I thought it was just a stereotype, like American’s all love football, which we know is not the case. Personally, I don’t really dig hockey. I like the fights, but since that is the case, I will just watch boxing. Or box. No ice skating in my future.
3. History of Montreal. I realized that Americans don’t learn any history of Montreal or Quebec in school. Basically, an American school teaches you that: “The French came over from France to Quebec and started fur trading things like Beaver Pelts. And now we have modern day Montreal!” That’s about it. Hell, I didn’t even know the capital of Canada. I felt like an idiot. That is until I asked all my friends if they knew the capital of Canada and I think only one knew it on a second guess. And a lot of my friends are legitimately smart and well traveled. Or at least smarter than me.
4. Americans in Montreal. Americans that come to Montreal are really low-budget Americans. Most are from weesh 3rd and 4th tier cities in America or crap cities like DC or places in New Hampshire or Maine or something*. A bunch of busters. Montreal is definitely not invaded by solid West Coast Playboys from the beach towns. Hell, I might have been the first person from Southern California to ever set foot in the place as far as I could tell. Don’t worry, I straight up represented. Hell, the next person that comes from Southern California should send me a few G’s for all the positive ground work I laid, so to speak, for them. I personally know at least 10 Montreal girls that want to go to California soon, because they think the place is chocked full of guys like me. They are in for a rude awakening though, as I am top tier in that place.
5. The Old Port. I like the Old Port. I like the buildings, some of the restaurants, some of the clubs and getting in my roadwork there. It can be great for swooping girls on dates and workouts. However, it can be touristy, you can get hosed on prices, and there are no real neighborhood joints. I had plans to chop up Cherry and St Paul Hotel non-stop last summer. Both changed on me. Club Cherry Closed, St. Paul Hotel Changed. Got unlucky. Not sure if I would live in or near Old Port again. But it still is pretty dope.
6. Québécois not Canadians. When you make sweeping statements about the people in Montreal, even if it is a compliment, don’t refer to them as “Canadians”. Refer to them as “Québécois”. Thank me later.
7. Northfield Cigarettes. These are the Canadian version of American Spirits. Smoke them. They are not as good as American Spirits, but they are pretty dope. In fact, whenever my boys visited, I had them bring me a carton on American cigarettes. Thanks boys.
8. Safety. Montreal is safe as f*ck. The chances of you slipping on some maple syrup and breaking your neck are way higher than you shanked in a street fight. The only thing that is dangerous is the hipsters on bikes. I almost got wacked by one on a sidewalk. If I wasn’t so damn agile, I would have gotten smashed. I had to dive out of the way, in a Custom Suit mind you, all stunt man style one night when I stepped out. It was pretty damn athletic if I may say so myself. Probably only an “in his prime” Allen Iverson, Floyd Mayweather Jr. or your humble author would have been able to avoid that hipster on a bike.
9. Hipsters VS Douchebags. I thought Montreal would be 100% hipster. But there were plenty of Douchebags too. Who would have known?
10. Construction. There is mad Corruption in the Construction industry in Montreal. It won’t affect you though.
11. Cabs. Like many cities on the globe, the cab drivers in Montreal are pretty retarded. You have to know where you are going, because the cab drivers don’t. And they try to drive you up St. Laurent all the time as well. Learn to use Rue Berri. Way quicker and more smooth.
12. Nightlife Districts. There are mad sections of Montreal with great areas to go out at night or get a grind on. Probably, 10 different “districts” that I could discover. Pretty amazing for a city of Montreal’s size. Especially when you consider a large West Coast city like San Diego has like 2 streets that you can party on.
13. French Language. Speaking French no doubt helps your cause. But it can also confuse girls when you tell them you are from California and then you can speak French. A couple of girls thought I was from Montreal and I was lying to them or something. It was not catastrophic, but something for a G to keep in mind.
14. Terraces. It’s all about Terraces in Montreal in summer. Find them. Live them. Love them. Spark up smokes on them. Swoop at them. I did.
15. Smoking. People in Montreal puff grits. Those gross images on cigarettes to deter smoking don’t work at all.
16. Perfect sized City. Montreal is really the perfect sized city. You can walk most of it, or take a 10 minute subway ride and be anywhere you want. Smooth.
17. Toronto. People in Montreal hate Toronto. I mean really hate it. Say you do too. Trust me.
18. Girls. The girls in Montreal are mad fly. However, they are not as easy as I thought on my first trip. I will explain more later, but there are plenty of thin, well dressed, high heel wearing, French accented dope girls to keep any International Playboy sedated. There are some good mixes. Black girls. Lebanese girls. Asian girls. Russian girls. Italian girls. Irish girls. Dark haired, blue eyed French girls. French Moroccan girls. I like them all. I regulated every shade of that *ss. On the real. Really developed an addiction to the French Moroccan girls. I may go to Morocco soon.
19. Partying. Partying in Montreal is fun as f*ck. You can go out seven nights a week there. Drugs are easy to come by, or at least they were easy for me to “sniff out”, so to speak. I almost got myself into trouble actually. But I am The G. I know what I am doing.