Montreal, Canada: Nightclub and Restaurant Data Sheets
Back in September I went to Montreal for the first time. You could say I am in the middle of a love affair with that city to say the least. Although my love affair will be put on hold till summer.
Here are some spots to hit up like an Everlast punching bag:
Cavalli – 2040 Peel
Good spot to swoop fly girls at, get there on the earlier side of things. Straight murdered this joint.
Wood- 3500 St. Laurent
Worth checking.
Wunderbar – 901 Square Victoria
In the W Hotel. Not bad, even though I historically speaking hate W Hotels. Upstairs lobby bar is a better move for an early night smooth cocktail.
Restaurant Holder – 407 McGill St
Fresh spot in Old Montreal.
Toqué! Restaurant – 900, Place Jean-Paul-Riopelle
Mindblowing food. Maybe 2nd best restaurant I ate all year.
Au Pied de Cochon – 536 Avenue Duluth
Mindblowing Foie Gras go off. Foie Gras to the brain.
Cherry – 417 Rue Saint Pierre
Dope nightclub. Very friendly girls to say the least. Real good move on a Thursday night. Door might be slightly tricky for the less connected.
Buona Notte – 3518 St. Laurent
Worth a look-see.
Ferreira Café -1446 Rue Peel
Portuguese Restaurant
Muzique – 3781 St. Laurent
Nightclub. Once had a “NO FAT GIRLS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!” party. Source
Ivy – 3556 St-Laurent
Nightclub.
MACARONI BAR – 4448 Boulevard Saint-Laurent
Never went but could be worth a shot.
Radio Lounge -3553 Boulevard Saint-Laurent
Nightclub
Tokyo Bar – 3709 Boulevard Saint-Laurent
Nightclub
Le LocaL – 740 Rue William Montreal
Dope restaurant. Fly girls.
Hotel St. Paul – 355 Rue McGill
Dope Hotel bar. Smooth meeting spot. Functional.
Bar Confessional – 431 McGill St
Bar/Restaurant/Lounge
Circus – 915 Saint Catherine
Late night spot. Could be a good option in a pinch. Never went.
Tonic Club Lounge – 2313 Rue Sainte-Catherine
Club/Lounge
Club Wandas -1310 Boulevard De Maisonneuve Ouest
Gentlman’s Club. 1-0 with 1KO here.
However, as the most prolific writer on The International Playboy Lifestyle on the Internet, I feel compelled to let younger up-and-coming G’s on the rise know about some of the downsides of The Life.
There is one spot in the bar that has your best odds for sleeping with a high number of quality girls. The way that that spot’s strengths and weaknesses combine with your strengths and weaknesses create a special zone where your game will be more effective than any other spot. It is your duty as a man to find out which spot that is and commit the time to reaping the rewards that it contains.
I have been meaning to write on the subject for years. (And although it might seem like it is some “other sh*t” it is really some “next level sh*t”.)
International Playboys refer to these “spots” that Roosh is referring to as Vortex Zones in Bars, Restaurants and Nightclubs. Vortex spots are places where you can just post up Custom Suited Down and straight chop fly girls. The advantage of Vortex Points is you don’t have to walk around chasing girls; instead, you “position” yourself in an establishment and let the prey come to you.
Think of the mighty Leopard (conincidentally, the most effective hunter in the jungle, percentage-wise), he kicks back, handmade loafers up, while smoking a grit and pounces on his prey. Or waits in the weeds in the “traffic lanes” (we have discussed this before in regards to Gentleman’s Clubs) and then makes the kill. You want to do the same thing here.
Recognizing these Vortex Zones however is somewhat tricky as every spot is a little different.
Here is a little EZ guide to help you recognize these Zones:
1. One of the main “Traffic Lanes” or Vortex Points we have discussed before is from the entrance of the spot to the Bar. Or from the Bar to the Bathroom. Post and Chop accordingly.
2. Stairways inside Bars, Restaurants and Nightclubs are more often than not, Vortex Points of sorts. Dig in at the top or bottom of the stairwell and enjoy the free leads. For whatever reason, fly girls are always going up and down stairs at nightlclubs. (Side note: Sometimes over-zealous bouncers hate when you do this. Grease them.)
3. On “U Shaped Bars” the Vortex Points are always the corners. These are similar to the center squares of the chess board. Control them.
4. On “L Shaped Bars” the Vortex Point is also the corner. This is akin to the “center of the ring in Boxing”. Keep everyone at the “end of your punches”, so to speak.
5. If the establishment you are in has a “resident Bean Flipper” or “resident Beek Twister”, the area where he is flipping is undoubtedly the Vortex Zone. Make sure you kick it with him and cook leads.
Once you locate these Vortex Zones, protect them like an old neighborhood street corner.
Anyone who reads The G Manifesto knows I don’t get impressed easily by modern day nightlife in general or modern day nightclubs in particular. Especially in America which has been on a heavy downward slide (in fact, if I was the owner of even some of the best American nightclubs I would commit suicide because of the pathetic product they are serving up). In Bogotá however there are a couple of places that impressed the hell out of me:
Andres Carne de Res
The New York Times called Andres Carne de Res “profound, spellbinding, beautiful, tumultuous, confusing and fattening all at once“. I am not sure about the “fattening” part, but it’s a pretty accurate description. Andres Carne de Res does that thing that seems to be impossible to do in America: combining a great restaurant with a great nightclub. Even more amazing is that is does both at the same time.
Here is how the place breaks down:
- Five or Six floors with a couple of “half floors”
- holds 1200 people ( I did some math in my gulliver and the place is clocking un-Godly dough)
- Way more girls than guys
- Insane meat grinds
- Great Service (It is incredible that this place even functions with all the mayhem and food service, but it does)
- Open super late
- Mindblowing energy levels
- Performace art
- Everyone, and I mean everyone is dancing non-stop
Fly girls, steaks served at all hours, crazy dancing? I think I found heaven on Earth.
(Side note: the original is outside the city in Chia. I didn’t go, but it is supposed to hold 3000 people. I can only imagine how dope that place is.)
Salto del Angel
Kind of similar to Andres Carne de Res only smaller and the food isn’t quite as good.
Insane Vibe, dancing and fly girls though.
Your life wouldn’t be complete without at least 20 nights in each of these places.
And swooping mass amounts of fly Colombianas while you are at it.
I continue with my routine of Entering The Dragon to get ready for the beautiful evil that nighttime brings. It’s Saturday night in Riga, and I notice that the energy levels on the street are a little lower than Friday night. (Note to self, Friday is the big night in Riga.)
I need to Fuel The Dragon, so I step into a little Latvian joint and get a grind on. The bartender girl, who is of course fly, gives me some pretty good Data Sheets on where to go for the evening. I appreciate her info, as some of my Nightlife choices so far have been a little off-point.
I get a few more “warm up” drinks, spit some Street Game, help and old Latvian Lady cross the street, and head over to one of the Latvian bartender girls’ recommendations. I enter the spot, and the place is dope (I can’t believe I never noticed it before, I think it was closed earlier in the week), but I can tell I am a little early. I need to find something better so I store the spot in my gulliver and head to another spot.
I arrive at the bartender girls’ other recomendation, and the place is on. Finally, I am in a dope spot in Riga: some hip-hop tracks, tons upon tons of fly Latvian and Russian girls, an upstairs smoking room with another DJ, and did I mention tons upon tons of fly Latvian and Russian girls?
I start spitting Game with a quickness. Girls are down. I start dancing with a couple of Russian sisters, both fly, and bust out some Salsa Game to some psedo-wack Pitbull track. The Russian sisters pick up the Salsa pretty quick and ask me, “Are you a Salsa teeecher?”
After making some rounds in the spot, I see a smooth black guy (one of the first I have seen in Riga) nod at me and I ask him, “American?”
He replies, “No mate, UK. You from America?”
I reply, “Yeah, mate. California. The beach.”
He then introduces me to some of his friends he is with. They are rolling five deep or so, and I figure it can’t hurt to have a little “insta-crew” since I keep finding myself in Karate Chop and Judo Throw situations in Riga.
His friends are all from UK and some are pseudo-Indian and Pakistani cats, and are all pretty cool. I have never hung out with any pseudo-Indian and Pakistani cats before, so its all new to me. These guys actually have some Game and are getting some girls cooking. They say they have been to Riga a bunch of times so they seem to know the score.
With a little “back up” I start doing what I do best: Swooping Fly Girls. I am feeling 120% off of my fresh swoop and Entering The Dragon session and my Game is coming real clean with no filler. Puro like Colombian Snow.
Moving from fly girl group to fly girl group, I am looking to swoop tonight. A few of the girls are so beautiful, my heart skips a beat a few times, but I am so seasoned at this stuff that I stay ice cold like a snow cone.
Outside the spot smoking some grits with some more fly Latvian girls, I notice a curious thing: A group of the Latvian girls are dying to have their pictures taken with the homeys from the UK. And they have no interest in taking a photo with me.
I ask one of the UK cats what its all about, and he says, “I think they like people with darker skin, Mate. It’s new to them I guess.”
Interesting.
We all roll back in and get back to work.
On second thought, the DJ sucks. He is playing tracks like this:
Instead of what he should be doing and spinning tracks like this:
Either way, there are still tons of fly girls in the spot. High Heels. Short Skirts. Thin. Fly.
My Game is on like Vietnam. (And I don’t mean that ETF, Market Vectors Vietnam (VNM), either).
I keep making solid, dynamic approaches, non-stop. Then I realize something: I have literally tried to swoop about 30 different girls in the spot to no avail. It’s really strange. If I am in America, and my Game is this tight, and I am feeling this good, I would have banged out two different girls by now, and back at the club ordering another Goose Soda Lime. All I have for my efforts is a couple of “loose” Number Crunches.
I kind of feel like Miguel Cotto must have felt in his fight with Antonio Margarito; I am landing clean shots, moving well and winning the fight on the cards, but I feel like I am ultimately going to end up in a bloody heap on the canvas.
Like I said before, it’s Strange.
I keep plugging away. (So to speak).
After a bunch more Game spitting sessions, I end up empty handed. By my count, I am something like 0-49 on the night. Unreal. A “Reverse Rocky Marciano”, of sorts. I literally don’t think this has ever happened to me. In my whole life.
The spot is still dope, but I ditch the UK cats and head back to the earlier spot. I need to switch up speeds like Bruce Lee riding the Fuji in that movie. It’s more on, this time.
I make a good love connection, as if my name was Chuck Woolery, with a fly Russian girl name Jekatarina. I get pseudo-stepped to by a big Russian guy, but Jekatarina helps and translates me out of another potential Karate Chop situation, and I smooth it over.
Jekatarina is pretty down, but I can’t close. She kisses me before she steps into her cab. I will have to swoop her tommorrow.
I can’t believe after one of the sickest, award winning Game performaces I have ever put on in my life, I am empty handed again.
Recently, I was at a Charity Gig during the Summer Blitz and separated a fly Mexican Girl dip with pretty lips and hips from her amigas as we were walking to the next venue. I popped my head into this dope lounge bar that I have on lockdown and saw one of my friends spinning that ill old-school soul and hip-hop sh*t on vinyl and suggested we stop by for a drink.
This move was two-fold: 1) We could hear some dope beats and enjoy some pro-bono cocktails and 2) I knew that the lounge had no cell phone service so when the friends of the fly Mexican girls were calling, they were going straight to voicemail.
This in turn, bought me a lot of time to spit Game and Swoop. Smooth.
Another benefit of knowing “no cell phone service” places is when you take a young American “text bonkers girl” to a restaurant, you can actually enjoy your Vino and apps (and I don’t mean Iphone apps either) in peace without the girls constantly Facebooking, Tweeting, BBMing or Texting.
There is a lot of talk out there today about Fame VS Game. Although, I exist in the shadows, shun the spotlight and value my privacy (especially in my line of work), and a huge proponent of Game, I have had some run-ins with Fame.
Let me drop a little freestyle:
MC in Newport Beach
Back when I was a puerile pro-type G, I was partying at a nightclub in Newport Beach. Most likely in those days, I was there all vato’d out, moving some beans like an accountant. It was a typical Newport Beach night; fly girls, wack guys, weesh nightspot. You know the pill.
Anyways, I think there was some wack band (a real tragedy, and I don’t mean Juice Crew, I mean what the word defines) performing or some crap, I can’t really remember, and thankfully, there was a lull in the action. During this “lull”, the DJ surprisingly enough, started spinning a pretty dope beat. My running partner at the time and I both had a light bulb go off at the exact same time.
We both jumped on stage, grabbed the Mic’s and started moving the crowd with lyrical flows, flavor loops like Toucan Sam, iller, and started catching wreck like Godliza:
“Now to the peeps in the back, if you’re not the wack, say
[don't stop with the body rock]
Now all the people in the front, if you’re ready to bump, say
[don't stop with the body rock] “
My running partner and I were busting freestyle raps, precious like artifacts.
We were putting “the hip” in “hop” and the “don’t” in “stop” and the clips in glocks
and rock boxing your block.
The mad matador of metaphor ripped the hard core for him and his, them and theirs, and you and yours.
We even dropped some lyrics about Taco Shops and Quesadillas with extra Guac.
Whenever I would run out of lyrics, I would just bust some old Big Daddy Kane:
“Rappers stepping to me,
they want to get some,
But I’m the G, so yo, you know the outcome, Another victory, They can’t get with me,
So pick a BC date cause you’re history”
And so on.
Keep in mind, this was Newport Beach; it was probably one of the first times people even heard Hip-Hop. There was minimal risk of anyone noticing I was biting lyrics.
At first there was stunned looks on the faces of the crowd, but as my running partner and I were flowing back and forth with style unseen since the days of a young Ad-Rock and Mike D, and interspersing shout outs to our crew, we started to move the crowd.
That is, until the club owner pulled the plug. (I guess the wack band coming on next was getting bitter that we cold served them.)
My running partner and I then jumped off the stage into the crowd and a curious thing happened: We were literally mobbed and I mean mobbed by girls. Introductions, hugs and kisses all around. It was kind of ill. We were Eminem before Em was Marshall Mathers.
Thinking back, I am surprised I didn’t forgo my budding Standover career for a career in Hip-Hop. Financially, with all the problems the music industry is having these days; I think I made the correct decision.
“Why, a visiting bishop asked Antoni Gaudí, did he trouble himself so much about the tops of the towers of The Sagrada Familia? After all, no one would ever see them. ‘Your Grace,’ Antoni Gaudí said, ‘the angels will see them.’ – Homage to Barcelona
This is a real valuable Data Sheet as this information is very hard to find on the internet, and almost everyone (one person came up aces) I asked prior to coming to Barcelona came up deuces.
This list is by no means definitive or exhaustive. Nor am I claiming. These are just some spots I was able to figure out that have mad fly girls; if you can get in.
Hotel Omm – great spot for a smooth cocktail to get your bearings straight. This was where I got stepped to by The Barcelona Nightlife Princess that was invaluable and introduced me to the fashion crowd, model dividends.
Solo Restaurant and Lounge – good on Friday nights and Saturday nights. 80% of the girls in here will be pretty fly. Near Hotel Omm. Closes at 3pm I think, but if you got juice, you can stay later. I had it.
Oshum – pretty sick club that stays open way late. Good on Fridays for sure. Scallywag behavior is possible here. Fly girls as well.
Broadbar – Want to see Spanish people dance salsa to hip-hop? Neither do I, but this place is pretty sick on Wed night. Tried to pull and “Inverse” Vicky Cristina on two fly 21 year old Catalan girls here, to no avail. But still ended up swooping one of them two nights later. Real solid spot, closes at 3pm.
Bikini – Crazy club open super late, good on Wed night. Probably other nights as well.
Sutton Club – Thursday night spot. Mad fly girls.
Hyde – Pretty wack, but being Barcelona, there are still fly girls there.
Dry Martini – ill spot for stiff cocktail before attacking Carrer d’Aribau area. Suited Down is a must when you bust.
Other spots to consider:
Nick Havana Apolo Tiffanys Ribelinos Seven Crowns (afterhours?) Luz de Gas Otto Zutz – haven’t been this time, but I used to chop up this spot as a 20 year old proto-type G. One of my old-school favorites.
As far as the Port Olimpic spots like CDLC, Shoko and Opium, I haven’t stepped. I am sure they are not too bad, but the Data Sheets I got was they are pretty touristy and International.
When I go to a place, I like to swoop the local girls. More difficult. And More Style Points.
Also, I heard The W Hotel is dope there, but I don’t do W Hotels.
Again, this list is by no means everything. I should know, I am keeping a few dope spots to myself for now. If you look hard enough, have some moves and understand the rhythms of the night, you will find them too.
Bona sort!
The Rest is Up to You…
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA GFK, Jr.
AKA The Sly, Slick and the Wicked
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
