The Six Elements of
Picking Up Girls

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

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News: 10/8/07

Since this G Manifesto was written there have been many Manifesto’s to address How to Pick up Girls:

How to pick up girls and close: Fantastic Finishes- Five Top Closes

How to pick up girls during the day: Sunshine Maneuvers

And How to pick up Girls on the Street: Street Game…It’s kinda like The Crack Game

And of course, everyone’s favorite on how to pick up three girls at once: The Trio….How to Pick up Three Girls at Once

This page has very quickly turned into the best resource for Picking up Girls on the Internet…..

Update: 3/18/09

Great resources for picking up girls:

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

This G Manifesto is extremely important. This data, up until now has been highly guarded information, and revealing it could probably get me in trouble. It’s not unlike when Chinese Martial Artists started to reveal the secrets of hand to hand combat and self-defense to westerners. A lot of them got paid visits from the heavies over there. So don’t take this data sheet lightly. And don’t worry about me…desert eag (and Rugers for minor maneuvers), plus I got The Garduna behind me…..So here are The Six Elements of Picking Up Girls:

Sizzle

This is very important for the opening. You have approach girls with snap, swagger and energy. You need to have a purpose and pitch something that is exciting, fresh and unique. For instance, pitching 3 ringside seats to a Title Fight to a couple of exotic dancers in a Gentleman’s Club is going to have some Sizzle on it (make sure you sit Girl-Boy-Girl). But know your audience; pitching a girl on an afternoon in The Turf Club at the Racetrack might seem like a good pitch on a Hollywood actress girl, unless she volunteers for PETA during her off-time. The gear you wear helps a lot. A custom, light grey Paul Smith suit (with ticket pocket) with purple pinstripes, Lilac pocket square by Brioni and a light Resort Style Armani shirt with Crocodile loafers by A. Testoni will give you that added zip that you need. Focus helps give you Sizzle. When I am picking up on a girl it might seem extremely effortless to the untrained eye. In reality, I am incredibly focused. Sometimes I am so focused I am basically clairvoyant…..with extra sensory perception…..hell, some days I can move objects, like telekinesis when I am picking up girls. Important note: girls always talk about how the like “bad boys” (their language, not mine). But you can cross the line; I remember hanging out with a girl in a café during the day and two hitters came after me. It escalated into a full-blown daylight street shootout. The girl, completely unharmed, (who always said she liked “bad boys”) disconnected her phone when I tried to call her a few days later. So the lesson is, don’t push the “bad boy” thing too far. (Again, girls lingo not mine)

Control

Like any good MC that has Mic Control you need to control what is happening. For instance, don’t follow a girl you are trying to swoop to some bar that has a crappy band playing that her ex-boyfriend is in. You have to call the shots. Otherwise you could very easily end up Behind Enemy Lines. You make all decisions on where you are going and who you are rolling with. You need to know what moves to make during all hours of the day and night. Know what restaurant is best. Where the underground spots are. You need to dictate the action. Remember, part of what a night is scored on is “effective aggressiveness” and “ring generalship”. Don’t be afraid to walk away from the whole deal either. The key to this is having plenty of girls in your Pipe. You don’t even have to ask to know that my Pipe stays full like Mark Twain and General Macarthur’s.

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Rapport

This one is tough. Let’s face it, G’s and most girls have very little in common. Most normal girls don’t like Boxing, hanging out with underworld figures, eating extremely fattening foods, listening to the sound of money being counted in a money counter, negotiating gem prices, drinking wine like we are about to start prohibition again, Swooping as many girls as possible, planning heists, living a life of leisure, and being an all around Jet-setting International Playboy. When a girl asks you “What do you like to do for fun?” You can’t really respond with “Picking up on Girls” as an answer. (Side note: Thru an unofficial study, I have found out that many Female G’s, yes they do exist, are Bi-sexual, and because of this, saying “Picking up on girls” can be an acceptable answer). You need to find some kind of common ground, hard as it may be at times. For instance, most white girls have some Irish blood in them, so if you’re Irish at all, Bingo, there you go. Know a little about Zodiac Signs as well. News just in, girls like talking about signs, especially exotic dancers. There is a reason fly cats in the 70’s worked the sign game. In the new millennium, however, you can’t really ask girls flat out “what’s your sign?” Their guard is up on that stuff. It’s better to lead girls “down the canyon” on this. Simply put, tell a girl you just had your birthday, ask a girl when her birthday is, and within two minutes, she will be asking you what your sign is. Every time. Worst case scenario, ask a girl what her favorite animal is and say it’s yours also. Just find some something in common…….Skippy.

Gang Starr, Ex Girl to the Next Girl

Trust

Trust usually falls in line from Rapport. But still you have to work on it. Usually this is the part when you really have to put on your lying cap. For instance, if you were in a baseball bat fight with the Baseball Furies the night before, you probably want to leave it out of the conversation. Or if a girl asks you “how many girls you have slept with?” It goes without saying, that you don’t tell the truth. I remember a time when I was a young Prototype G and a girl I was swooping asked me, “how many girls you have slept with?”. I remember I responded “I don’t know, like fifty” thinking I would say a “low” number (in reality at that time it was probably about 3 to 4 times that). I remember her reaction and the funny look she had on face when I said, “fifty”. Incredibly and naively, I remember thinking that she gave me a weird look because it was such a low number (And in reality it is, if you go out a lot, you can swoop 50 fly girls in 2 months…) The next time I called her, her number was disconnected. It wasn’t until I ran into her a few months later, (at one of my Bases of Operations at the time), that I realized that she thought that number was extremely high. It wasn’t the first or the last time a girl has called me a “pig” (her lingo not mine). Skillfully, I talked my way out of it, on the fly, and ended up closing the account. A come-from-behind knockout a la Rocky Graziano. Side note: The best answer the dreaded question “how many girls you have slept with?” is, in the sincerest way possible “I have been with a few very important girls in my life…..” And leave it at that. Trust me.

Urgency

You have to make things happen fast when you are picking up girls. Every moment that goes by after you have gotten a girls phone number or made a date with her is hurts your chances. It’s a similar concept to “time erosion” with options trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange. Or the Chicago Board of Trade, or CME for that matter. It’s like a depreciating asset. The chances of a girl “coming to”, from the hypnotism of your Game is a lot higher as your Game starts to wear off. Always make plans with girls that night or the next. Collapse time frames.

Greed

One of the Seven Deadly Sins. Many theorists say it’s the most important of the deadly sins. “Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms — greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge — has marked the upward surge of mankind.”—Gecko. And greed — you mark my words — will not only save the G’s, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA………The Rest is Up to You.

Side Note:

In addition to Resort Style. On the west coast, summer style is very casual (I am primarily referring to the southern part). Don’t fall for it. People might think you are excessive and wrong for wearing a $2700 custom Italian suit in summer. Keep in mind this is made by skilled Italian craftsmen (I would call the guys who work on my suits Artists) who put about 50 hours of labor into it. Yet these same people think that think you are being excessive and wrong for wearing it, are wearing a Logoed Surf T-Shirt that costs five cents to make by some kid with missing fingers in some child labor sweat shop in some far-flung Tin Pot Republic. And they pay like $80 for the stupid T-Shirt! And I am the one being excessive and wrong…….Go Figure…..

Click Here to Download The G Manifesto’s Free Gentleman’s Club Report (pdf)

Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
How to pick up Girls
How to pick up chicks
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

A Tribe Called Quest – Butter

The Roots – Break You Off

Formula for Resort Style…..

I’ll be in the house with the guns drawn
The nine mili, fire till I am sure that them lungs gone
Trapped yourself, word second the car bomb
Detonated, The target activated the cell phone

We be in the hood putting work in daily
Meditate with the ghost till my eyes are hazy
Red jag convertible, black 380
Intentions to murder, get the cash and Im swayze

Lost in the the virgin isle
Never see a day of trial
Do away with the witness
Be it man, girl, or child

Until I’m buried in shells and where the cash be
Probably be buried in EL’s, haze and hash weed
Need more than forensics to try and catch me

—–Select lyrics from “Gunz up, Foes Down” by Team Arliss featuring Styles P (G Manifesto Certified Underground Track of the Week)

Summertime. The Kentucky Derby is the official start of summer on The G Manifesto Calendar. Being that we had the Preakness last weekend, the summer is full swing (just so you know I made a killing on both races). Summertime is one of the best seasons of the year: the weather is warm (this doesn’t really effect me too much, I am always where it is warm), the days are longer, and girls have completely severed their ties with there wack winter boyfriends. Springtime is always good for business, so you should be flush with CASH. The only issue to figure out is: what styles to bust?

Resort steez is a great style all year round (if you live in warm places), but many average schmucks live somewhere freezing in the winter (NYC, Chi, Dream City are of course, more than acceptable). Basically, the key to Resort Style is dressing like your at a High-End Resort (makes sense, right?). It doesn’t mean looking like a jerk off in some stupid cargo pants, a T-shirt, a baseball cap and some Teva sandals. By the way, sandals with straps haven’t been dope since the days of Julius Caesar, and even still, he still got schooled by Cleopatra. It’s about looking like you got some Juice. Serious Juice. Think Sosa in Scarface. But just so it’s clear for the sartorially challenged, I will break down a Formula for Resort Style. Like any beautiful skyscraper, let’s build it from the ground up…….

Shoes. Summertime is time to bust loafers. And I am not talking Topsiders. Wear something with some Sizzle. White Gucci loafers will pay for themselves many times over. Same goes for white Prada loafers, the perforated ones, hard hitting, like a “Irish” Mickey Ward left hook to the liver. These are actually hard to get, so use your connections. Crocodile loafers are also statement making. Just make sure that they were skinned when the Croc was still alive, it makes for a better shoe. Same goes for Snakeskin. Really, shoes made from any Top Predator will work. Or some brown Gucci’s with white piping. Show stopping. With Resort Stilo, you can wear a lot of lighter colors, whites, baby blues, tans, light browns. Also no socks are the move. You might get blisters sometimes, but, I have said it before and I’ll say it again: “I would rather have blisters and $550 white Prada loafers on, than no blisters and no $550 white Prada loafers on”. Many times people ask me, “why would you spend five bills plus (emphasis on “plus”) on a pair of shoes?” Dumb question. The answer is because if you do, you will have girls on the ground in the Lounge touching your shoes and loving you. When was the last time that happened to someone with $75 kicks?…. White Gucci loafers will turn a fly lesbian girl back to hetero. Trust me, I’ve done it. Also, kicking your Gucci slips with piping up and telling a girl to check them out always works. However, the more artistic move is to compliment a girl on her shoes and she will inevitably check out yours. Now she is in deep water, and all you have to do is drown her……..In closing, don’t be afraid of a top notch pair of Spectators……old school and can work wonders at the Racetrack….

Slacks. Lots of linen. Again, white is always good. With white however, you need to watch what you drink. This is the only time to ease up on the Spicy Zinfandels and Big Cabs. Drink some white; it goes well with summer day anyway. Goose and soda will not screw up your $450 Zegna slacks either. Seersucker is fresh; the boys have been wearing it down in New Orleans for who knows how long. Some shrimp Maison, crab Maison, shrimp remoulade and a seersucker suit at Galatoire’s is a perfect way to spend a hot summer day. Just think lightweight fabrics. Don’t shy away from lighter colors as well. Go a little baggier than normal as well, that way you won’t sweat on the toaster in the small of your back.

Belts. Make sure it matches your shoes…..skippy. Something with a “G” on the buckle is illmatic.

Shirts. Again Linen. Madras as well. The patch ones. A lot of Designers are going with some crazy print stuff these days. Some is dope, some not. Be your own judge. Untucked is very much ok. Especially if you are not wearing a sport coat, that way no one can see the heater. Loose and a little flowing is smooth. Sosa style. Think Cocaine Kingpin or the kind of guy who has a dozen shell companies based in the canton of Zug, Switzerland, and even if you miss the mark, you should be fine.

Sportcoats. Summertime is really the only time I wear sport coats. Windowpanes and Plaids can be more than ill. White sport coats should be in every gentleman’s closet. Cream (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) too. This is the time of year when you really can put every off balance, and go with “scorched earth tactics”. Sport coats are really good for more casual environments like Hawaii and by the pool in the afternoon for Goose and Sodas.

Suits. Suits are a must for the racetrack. Same color rules apply. Tans, All-White-Gucci’s, Greys with Vanishing pinstripes by Etro….really anything sick that’s going to make the place go wild when you step in. Two or Three button. Side vents. The main thing is you want top-notch fabrics. Here is not the place to be cheap.

Hats. No two words in fashion say as much as “Panama Hat”

And make sure you have a smoke or a Cigar in your hands at all times. Just to stay one step ahead, often times I am holding both at the same time.

Resort Style is just as much about your clothes as it is about your attitude. Resort Style is all about positive vibes. Say hello to people. Act like your on vacation. Offer to buy people drinks. Tip Big. Make moves. Go out every single night. Swoop as many dope girls as your body can handle. Summertime is heating up, so make the most of it. Don’t be kicking yourself while you’re freezing next winter about how you didn’t seize the day this summer. Don’t worry about me, I will be in Buenos Aires, Rio De Janeiro and Miami Beach, Resort Style…La vida Hermosa…The Rest is Up to You………..

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Top Predator
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Styles P & ST.Raw (Team Arliss) – Gunz Up Foes Down

Watch for the Hook, and Don’t forget to Duck

“The C stands for Cool Breeze who’s known as the champ
Freddy Calhoun, the coolest cutta at camp
Ay, my one’s and my two’s got your whole town shook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook
You betta listen to your corner, and watch for the hook!”

—–Select lyrics from “Watch For The Hook” by Cool Breeze (G Manifesto Certified underground ATL classic)

So I am sure you all heard about the city of Chicago banning the sale of the delicacy Foie Gras. Here is yet another example of government intrusion on our personal lives. I really think we need to get our priorities straight. I mean seriously, don’t we have bigger problems than Goose and Duck liver? And of all places, banning it in Chicago. Here is a city were we have poverty, violence and drug problems. Mayor Daley was the only voice of reason and said “We have children getting killed by gang leaders and dope dealers. We have real issues here in this city. And we’re dealing with Foie Gras?”

First of all, I can’t believe Mayor Daley couldn’t squash this nonsense. I can’t remember a time when a Mayor of Chicago with the last name Daley didn’t have the spot on lock. This obviously isn’t our father’s Chicago. I really miss Irish Democratic Machine Politics.

Second of all, what is the reason for banning Foie Gras? Radicals say that the “overfeeding of ducks” to make Foie Gras is inhumane. Isn’t the “underfeeding of humans” inhumane as well? Seriously, we have children growing up around the world and in our country malnourished and starving, and we are worried about giving ducks too much to eat? Its not like ducks are endangered. It’s not like it’s the Sturgeon from the Caspian Sea that might go extinct. Why don’t these people go to any park in any city that has a pond, all you will see is ducks. And who knows if the ducks don’t like being overfed. Has anyone asked the ducks if they don’t like it? It has to be better than being a hungry duck, right? I haven’t noticed Daffy or Donald taking a public stand against Foie Gras. Personally, I like overeating. Many times I like overeating Foie Gras! And smoking cigarettes and gulping wine with a Bulgarian Model Girl, while Zegna down. In fact, there are few things I like more. Have any of these people who are so against Foie Gras actually tried it? I doubt it, because the stuff is delicious!

I really cannot relate to the minds of these people who are against Foie Gras. How can this be their top priority? Think bout it. If you were so in favor of ducks rights, wouldn’t you also be against violations on human rights? Anti-war perhaps? Everyday Americans die in the Middle East, but you want to spend your energy stopping the sale of Foie Gras? What is next? Stopping the sale of Live Lobster Sashimi? Personally, I like seeing a Live Lobster look at me while I am eating it. Are you gonna try to take away that pleasure as well? Why not go after factory farming of pigs and chickens. Factory farming does more harm to animals, people, and the environment that Foie Gras does. Why don’t they go after Pizza Hut for cheapening Italian Culture and serving fake cheese? That stuff cannot be good for anyone. Charlie Trotter (who first came out against Foie Gras) really screwed this one up. One of my good friends who lives in Chicago, (who is G certified, armored car heists are his specialty) wanted to shove this Trotter guy in an oven, when he heard that even Trotter said the government shouldn’t decide for people. (You don’t know how close you came Trotter………..)

Side Note:

If you have been hanging around boxing gyms since Oscar De La Hoya dismantled Ricardo Mayorga, you have probably heard the rumors that De La Hoya and I might meet in the ring. True, if this fight happens, it would set a record for the most girls ever attending a boxing match. And true, I haven’t been in a ring since the amateur days and some unlicensed bare-knuckle boxing matches in the mid 90’s in London (when I was working with some Firms on the East End), but I can tell you De La hasn’t faced anyone with my body attack. You remember when my main man Hopkins took out De La with a liver punch right? Where do you think he got that tip? But the fight will probably never happen. I don’t think De La would want to fight above 160lbs, and I am not dropping below 168….I enjoy Foie Gras too much……..The Rest is Up to You………..

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

JR Writer version, Watch for the Hook

Cool Breeze, Watch for the Hook!!!!!

Components of a Magical Night

“You the watch on my wrist
The ice in my ring
Bling Bling look at the diamonds in my chain
My iced out jewelry, I love you

You my new Desert Eagle
My glock when I aim
All you hear is shoot em up bang bang
My fully loaded pistol, I love you

Work like a slave, eat like a king
We do it for the love of material things
I am going to show this industry the definition of a buzz
By the way that’s word to everything I love

I love doing shows hearing the fans when they clap
And I love you back
I love having fun, love a good party
Bartender, Crystal for everybody!”

—–Select lyrics from “Love is a Battlefield, by Papoose (G Manifesto Certified underground track of the week)

First of all, what is a “Magical Night”? A Magical Night is when everything falls in line perfectly. Like when you step into the joint and every fly girl is loving you. You might even have to tell some girls to “stop staring”. It’s when your energy is so positive that even the haters call you “The Peoples Champ”. Its when competition you just devour, like a pitbull against a chiwawa. It’s when a famous Italian designer comes up to you, tells you he loves your “style”, introduces a model girl named Briana to you and excuses himself to talk to other people. It’s when you you’re at a Grammy party and you can’t decide whether to roll with a singer girl with a deal or one of the showgirls to entertain. It’s when Game recognizes Game. It’s when you don’t even have to use your Desert Eagle tucked into the back of your Canali slacks. Its when a sometimes model daughter of a Eastern European Oligarch steps to you and gives you a key to her hotel room, and you haven’t had your third Grey Goose and Soda yet. Its when you wish could clone yourself to help swoop all the girls that are down. Magical Nights are what we all live for. Its no secret that I have had more Magical Nights than anyone deserves. But it is not just a function of luck. There is actually a method to having Magical Nights. Here are the Components of a Magical Night:

1. Preparation. The key to a good night is having a good day. Get out and about. Spit some street game or some west coast car game out the Cadillac DeVille. Feel the streets. Get some backup leads for the evening. Get some frontups to. Number Crunch. Shoot a text blaster. Get the pendulum swinging. Be well rested. Get in a Vampire Nap. Get a work out on. I personally like to spar a few rounds (and when you’re as quick as me you never get a mark on your face). Hit the heavy bag. The speed bag too. Think young Roberto Duran. Or Sugar Ray (and I don’t mean that crappy band from Orange County).

2. Be really positive. This is easier said than done. But regardless, get yourself in a good mood. Everyone is a little different. I usually start my day off on a positive note by tossing out the girls from the night before saying I have to catch a plane. Once they leave, I usually get a little shut eye. This early morning shut eye is usually more than decent. You should look into it. Music helps a lot. I usually have Curtis Mayfield’s “Superfly” playing in my head at all times. Hip Hop obviously works as well. Just make sure it has a tight beat, a fresh sample, and the MC is lacing a good flow………….

3. Gear. After taking a good shower and enjoying a good dose of Aquatherapy, call down to the front desk of the Ritz-Carlton and have them send up a bottle of Goose and some Krug, Clos du Mesnil 1995 sent up to your $750 per night room (don’t skimp on the room, you wanted to have a Magical Night, right?) Throw on a robe and light up a smoke. Get your head right. Get dressed. For me, suits just appear on my body. Put together a good combination. I like going with a Custom Zegna Black 3-Button, Black Borelli Sea Island Cotton shirt, white, blue, pink, red, black striped custom Zegna Tie (don’t even look for this one, Ann Zegna gave me the only one ever made) and light blue Brioni pocket square. Go with the kind of outfit that could pick up girls on its own. Go through your Checklist for a Night Out. And of course, carry an extremely thick Bankroll.

4. Get an early jump on the night. Get out on the streets. Smell, taste, and breathe the streets. This is the foundation remember. Get your flow going. If someone needs it, diss someone. Sacrificing to the player Gods is never a bad move. Deliberate sacrifice for deliberate gain. This will help you tap into your natural human instinct of a natural born killer. American Indians used to use Vision Quests to tap into their self in the Animal Kingdom. I just so happen to be the Wolf.

5. Planning. To have a Magical Night, you don’t necessarily need to plan every step of the night. Oftentimes, Magical Nights happen when there is little or no planning. Either way, you want to maximize your odds and be in the right place. For instance, a dive bar in Tulsa is going to be an extremely hard place to have a Magical Night. On the other hand, a Ford Model party in South Beach in February is going to make it a lot easier on yourself. So like any good Commodity Broker, watch the “moving averages” and the “Stochastics”. Buy low and sell high. Get into the trade Before it moves.

6. Oysters. Get a good meal on. Something relatively light. There is a reason the Spanish eat Tapas. Carpaccio is always a good move. Some Foie Gras never hurt anyone either (except maybe the Duck). Instalata Caprese is always a decent start to an evening, or some medallions of Wild Boar or Quail Eggs. Steak Tartare is a classic. Or some Poached Kobe bone marrow with warm truffle vinaigrette emulsion. You get the point. But Oysters are definitely the key. Raw clams too. Eat a half doz before the meal with three raw clams and a half doz at the end of the meal with three raw clams. 6+3+6+3= Magical Night. Bookend the meal. And fuck those Kumamoto Oysters. I typically drop ship New Orleans Oysters to wherever I am going. Just in case.

7. The X factor. This is that certain “Glow” you have sometimes when you go out. The Swagger. If I told you how to get this, you’d be as clever as me………….. The Rest is Up to You.

Emails of the week in regards to How to Get the Girl of Your Dreams:

“How sad. If you are real people, you are terrible writers. If you are writers creating semi-fiction, you have atrociously poor grammar (and spelling AND punctuation). You should have called this “How to Get the Dumbest Girl of Your Dreams”.”

——–Hey, I am never one to hold a girls intelligence against her. In fact, intellectual conversations sometimes make my head hurt. And I have never tried to be the next Ernest Hemmingway. I am fairly certain you don’t capitalize “AND” in the middle of a sentence. Get back to me on that. Thanks Skippy……MPM

Email in regards to The Smoking Gun:

“I heard of the attempt on your life, but you can’t kill a ghost. Funny the on the news they talked of your prominence but never showed your face, you’re a political genius!!! This piece makes me want to walk into Aubergiene and put a cigarette out on the owners cheek. I smoke 2 packs a day and my lung feels great. Try being a potsie like me Fisto, you could smoke in the oval office on TV if you wanted to b/c of who you are, but I can’t even light a match in the Stingaree bathroom, so I have to deal with all the pinstriped fugazzi’s gawking at my rancid ass when I try and discreetly slip out of the stall. Bastards.”

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA El Magico
AKA The Man with a Dream
AKA The Man on the Rise
AKA To take nothing and make it something
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

The Smoking Gun

“I got just one question for rappers that disrespect me, what do you want to be cremated or buried”

“The wake… the funeral… and the burial… after that nobody remembers you, so as long as you alive, get your revenue, stop hating on us that’s what you better do.”—Papoose from “The Boyz in the Hood” (G Manifesto Certified Track of the Week)

First California, then NYC, then Florida, now Washington, DC. All places you can not light up a cigarette in a bar or restaurant. California was a hopeless cause, but the NYC smoking ban was a big surprise. Miami obviously would never have supported a smoking ban, with all the Latin American and European tourists, but the State of Florida (which might as well be Mars compared to Miami) made it happen. But something about The Capital of The Free World banning smoking, smacks me in the face the wrong way.

So now the city council has decided that they know, better than employees, customers and Owners of restaurants and bars what is “best” for them? They have decided that it was not fair for workers to have the option to work in a smoking or smoke free environment. They have decided that it was completely oppressive to have a smoking and non-smoking room. They have decided that a Private business owner cannot have the option to allow his patrons, who want to smoke, to smoke. They have decided that no reasonable compromise can be found.

This is the Capital of the Free World, and you could be a fireman from the Hornet’s Nest and rescue a baby from a burning building, but you can’t go to a bar after work and light up a grit and have a Guinness in a bar. You can lobby Congress to give Billions of dollars to a War in Iraq (and cause thousands of young Americans to die before their time), but you cannot celebrate your lobbying efforts in a bar with a Montecristo no.1 and a Scotch, because it’s to “dangerous”. You can meet up with a Swiss Ford Model Girl from NYC but you can’t enjoy the buzz created by a bottle of Rioja and cigarettes with her in Adams Morgan. What is this country becoming? Dante’s Inferno?

The craziest thing about this ban in particular is that it is not even people in DC that want it. It’s a bunch of over-funded, over-moral jerks from New Jersey! People in DC have real problems on their hands, like daily gun violence, poverty, shitty schools, and a still active Crack Cocaine epidemic. The people behind this attack on our right to choose, never even go out at night!

Even if you are not a smoker, you have to be very wary of this affront to Property Rights, Consumer Choice, and Personal Freedom. What is next? Telling people that they cannot drink in Bars because when people get drunk they have a higher chance of getting violent, and it’s not “safe” for people?

Have we really become healthier since these bans started? Have people started to live longer? Does anyone want to live longer? Even in California, the land of health, everywhere you turn, people are obese and out of shape. Who was the last good boxer that California produced? Ricardo Mayorga and Arturo Gatti are the two most exciting boxers of recent memory and they both smoked! Mayorga even lights up in the ring! America is a heart attack waiting to happen. Why don’t we say people can’t eat fast food? But it’s the smoking that killed the fat guy who never exercised, right? Why don’t we crack down on White Girls that can’t dance in nightclubs? Or shitty DJ’s playing safe, crappy music in clubs? Or the club owners who can’t stop opening up “modern lounges” and lack original ideas? The pain of watching white girls dance has taken years off my life…….

My favorite reason for the smoking ban is because “Smoking imposes a heavy cost on society”. If smoking really kills people before their time then the savings on Medicare and Social Security would be enormous! If we really want to solve these crisis in our country, let people smoke! The Democrats could probably even convince Homo-phobic Middle America to vote their way if they used this as a platform.

Is smoking really more dangerous than other legal drugs like alcohol and caffeine? Does anyone spaz out on cigarettes like they do on Caffeine? Does someone crash their car killing innocent pedestrians because they are so fucked up from smoking cigarettes? Does anyone cheat on their wife and undermine the American family unit because they were so wasted on cigarettes?

The taxes on cigarettes are out of control as well. Increased Taxes have not stopped teenagers from smoking (as the geniuses thought it would). In fact, it has opened the doors for Smuggling and Organized Crime a la Prohibition. This actually is a decent business angle. In fact here is a free investment tip: Personally, I am liquid, long oil, long gambling, and long cigarette smuggling.

Let’s look at the facts:

Adolf Hitler, non-smoker
Gandhi, enjoyed an occasional smoke
Benedict Arnold, non-smoker
Albert Einstein, smoker
Ayatollah Khomeini, non-smoker
John F. Kennedy, smoker
Osama Bin-Laden, non-smoker
Notorious BIG, smoker
That balding jackass from that shitty 90’s rock/rap band Blimp Liscut, non-smoker
Frank Sinatra, smoker
Idi Amin, non-smoker
Pablo Picasso, smoker
J. Edgar Hoover, non-smoker
Nelson Mandela, enjoyed an occasional smoke
Pol Pot, non-smoker
George Washington (and all the founding fathers!), smokers
Charles Manson, non-smoker (believe it or not)
Bill Clinton, smoker (obviously)
David Koresh, non-smoker
Christopher Columbus, loved smoking!
And most importantly Girl Models Smoke!

Draw your own conclusions………

Anytime government infringes on our personal freedoms, we are in trouble. So do what I do: Light up in bars anyway. And carry extra CASH to pay for the fines. Compromise, Personal Freedom, Options, and Choice are what make our country great. Attacking these values only destroys our great country. I think I need to spend next winter in Rio di Janeiro, I know those girls can dance………..The Rest is Up to You……

Emails of the week in regards to last week’s G Manifesto: Insight into the world of Suits

“I just tore my stained Dickies off from back to front like a circus
clown. My Calvin Klein jacket has been serving as a chick repellent
for the past 10 years of my life, I had no idea and I am disgusted about
it. I just robbed 10 g’s from my dying best friend and I’m heading to grab me an Oxxford. Many thanks for the insight to suiting up like a G. G’s up, hoes down, now you mutha fuckas bounce to this!!!!”

“I just slipped into my new Oxxford suit pants and my rocket almost blew out the right pant leg. This is the best 10 G’s I ever stole and spent. Thanks Fisto, my ass meter is already in the red, game on mother fucker!!!”

Side Note:

A lot of people have been wondering if there was an assassination attempt on my life recently during the break of The G Manifesto. All I will say is next time bring more people. You didn’t know I was handy with the steel? Desert Eag. “You can’t take me out the picture I’m photogenic, I wash both of you all up even your co-defendant”—Papoose

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)