“When I wake up in the morning
love
and the sun light hurts my eyes
And something without warning
love
bears heavy on my mind.
Then I look at you and the worlds alright with me
Just one look at you and I know it’s gonna be –
A lovely day – lovely day”
(“Lovely Day” by Bill Withers, My second favorite track next to “Be Thankful for what you got” by DreamCity’s own William DeVaughn)
Being that half your life is spent during the day, you should take advantage of the fact and use Sunshine Maneuvers during Day Dates with Girls. Sunshine Maneuvers also work real well on Girls that work during the night ie Exotic Dancers, Waitresses, Hostesses, Bartendresses and other “Brain Therapists”. For Scheduling reasons.
Location
Personally I like to use the beach of a fresh Beachside Community, or an Ethnic Hood in the city for Sunshine Manuevers. I tend to live in Little Italys around the world, fresh urban Neighboorhoods or BeautifulSeasideTowns, but I wouldn’t rule out using a Chinatown or other Ethnic Hood. Make sure it is a “walking hood”. No Strip mall hoods. No Suburbs. No shopping. And No Malls, “its a total eclipse when this darkness falls, Most of you so called Thugs chill in Shopping Malls”- Unusual Suspects.
Sunny Day
This time of year it’s easier to have a sunny day in Southern California or Miami Beach (Two of my USA strongholds). But with all the Global Warming going down it might be easier in other parts of the country also. A day with rain showers (and I don’t mean Club Rain in Las Vegas either) turning into sunshine will also help your cause. Girls tend to like the nature phenonmenon stuff. I kind of like it too. Similar to a full moon or Shooting Star sightings at night. Or double circle Rainbows in Maui. Or Seventeen Surfing Dolphins riding a wave at once. You get the idea. Gifts from the Player Gods.
Meeting Place
I love meeting places with style. Use a good Piazza or Plaza. Something with a nice Staute or Fountain. Or better yet both. Never pick up a girl for a date. That way you are prepared if the girl is setting you up for a jack move. Like Mobb Deep once said “Trife life got me thinkin like an animal. What can kill you is what you don’t know.” Always greet girls with the two kiss greeting (unless you are meeting Brazilian girls from certain spots then you might want to bust Three Kisses. Olá. Tudo bem?, Trust me on this one, I have had more girls between my sheets than Brazilian Vogue.) Grind and hit Brazilian Dimes from Behind. If there is a fountain, Make a wish with the girl. Use quarters, don’t be cheap. I don’t have to tell you what I wish for on a date.
Dress for Murder
Best is to Go Resort Style. The kind of smooth shit that murderers move with. Lately though, I have picked up some suits that are so Flash, so Forward thinking that they would be hard to ignore, like the D’Ardenberg Vinos. Obviously the tempature (And I don’t mean Mobb Deeps G-Manifesto Certified Track “Temperatures Rising” Either). Bring a good sized bank roll. And since I have been getting dough since “Just Say No” it’s not a issue. Wear Sunglasses. Tom Ford’s Sunglasses, “The Porfirio” are smooth (you owe me for using my name Tom..) Always have a lit cigarette (or a Cohiba Corona Especial) in your mouth when she rolls up dressed in Skirt by Balenciaga, top by Givenchy, shoes by Manolo Blahnik or Christian Lacroix, I think and swinging a Birkin Bag….for style points of course…
Innovate- Beauty Overdose
During Sunshine Manuevers always surround yourself with beauty. This is actually a good rule of life, that’s why when it comes to girls, I prefer Models. Cruise by the beach, chill in beautiful parks, ArtGalleries, Mid-Century Modern Furniture Stores, HistoricChurches, Museums, Cigar Stores. Use beauty to your benefit. Girls react well to beauty. Take advantage of it.
Prince of the Neighboorhood
This takes preparation. As you cruise around the hood, you want all the store owners and restaurant owners to say hello, shake your hand, give you cigars etc. as you Walk on By like Issac Hayes. Speak the local languages. For instance, if your in Little Italy, greet the resturanteurs in Italian. This really hyptotizes girls. If your in Chinatown, speak in Cantonese, Mandarin, Fukanese, Shanghainese, Taiwanese, Gan, Hui, Jin (and I don’t mean that Underground Rapper Jin either), Min Zhong, or Qiong Wen. Whichever dialect is applicable. I know a few key phrases and words in each.
Fuel The Dragon
Eat a good meal. Something Ethnic. Maybe some Market Fresh Crudo of Hamachi with Espelette Marinade, Lime Mousse and Vanilla Oil (the Vanilla Oil really makes it happen). Or some Seared Day Boat Scallps with apple and celery root, Mizuna, chevre and a pomegranate foam. Or some Elk Loin Sous Vide (that means cooked in a vaccum to the culinary challenged) with pommes pave, hydroponic watercress, beurre rouge and white asparagus. Applebees isn’t going to cut it. Keep the conversation upbeat.
View to a Kill
Find a spot with a good view. Overlooking the city. Or the beach. Never underestimate the power of a Beautiful View. Take her somewhere where it wouldn’t make sense for her not to kiss you. The kiss of life. When I was younger I would always take girls to spots that were beautiful and takes some beans or roll an EL. There are some Cliffs in Southern California where I have literally swoop Hundreds of Girls. Make sure it’s the low-pro goods.
Wine Store
Roll by the wine store. Say what’s up to the girls that own the store. Pick up a Bottle and Dip back to the crib. Finish strong. Game so Good I could put Ciara to sleep, excuse me but that girl’s been on my mind all week. The Rest is Up to You………….
We already know that The Nightclub, The Gentleman’s Club, The Lobby Bar, The Fights, The Race Track, Top-Notch Resturants, and High-End Gigs are where The G is most at home. But every now and then I switch up speeds like Bruce Lee riding a Fuji in a movie. Enter The Club at Home. The Club at Home is exactly that; having a Nightclub type experience at home. The best way to do it is Control the Guest list. When I do the Club at Home is I am the only guy invited. As far as girls, you are best if you go with a Regining Nightlife Princess, a few Fly Go-Go Dancers from a NightClub, or a mixed bag of Exotic Dancers. Better yet, it’s better to have The Club at Home at her crib than yours. Less mess to clean up.
Taking a page out of all the Asian-Themed clubs that are ridiculously overdone these days, get an order of Sushi on the books delivered over. Make sure to get plenty of Sake too. The Milky cold stuff is kind reminds me of the Korova Milk Bar. Moloko Plus. I can hear Vivaldi in the background. Dressed in the Height of Fashion. The Clear cold stuff is good to. The hot stuff is for rookies. All the Japanese Execs drink the cold sake. At the Atlantis in the Bahamas, I was chillin with a couple of cats from the Yamaguchi-gumi and they told me the same thing. Who am I to argue. Make sure you get Plenty of Sashimi also (It’s no secret that Nightlife Princesses love sashimi). I usually get plenty of Hamachi, Hamo, Inada, Uni, Maguro, and Toro. It’s wise to double up on the Toro. Get some rolls and maybe some Soft-Shell Crab Handrolls too. Monk-Fish liver (don’t tell her what it is) and Orange Clam for style points. Have it delivered. (You really need to have a Sushi Joint that delivers Top-Notch Sushi in your bag of tricks. If you don’t have a place that will deliver you sushi, you really need to give your self a reality check and start stepping it up.) Make sure you Grease the Delivery driver, that way he won’t mind making deliveries outside his normal area or after hours and he will keep you laced with the best cuts of Fresh Fish.
Make sure you have plenty of booze as well. The last thing you want to do is have to leave the crib to have to get more Goose or Champagne Mid-Club at Home. If the girl wants Beans or Beeks, I suggest not holding her back. But the decision is up to you. I have done an extensive unofficial Case Study and I have found that there is an inverse relationship between intoxication and girls clothes disappearing (keep in mind, I am not fully convinced on the data thus far and this study may turn into my life’s work). But hey, be my guest if you want to re-invent the wheel. Just make sure that the delivery guy doesn’t “make himself at home”. Side note: make sure the girl/ girls don’t get any bright ideas of inviting any guys over. More girls good. More guys bad. It’s really as simple as that. Don’t rule out turning off the girl’s cell phone or spilling a full glass of Chateau Leoville Barton St-Julien 2003 on it to render it not functioning (Armand de Brignac works well also).
One of the best parts about the Club at home is you can DJ the gig. So many clubs these days spin such wack records. And the DJ’s don’t count beats. I am not a professional DJ, but I can operate the One’s and Two’s. But Word Life, I can serve 90% of the DJ’s out there today. Most of the DJ’s today don’t know their history and haven’t done their homework. Like Mike D once said, “A lot of people claim to be Funky, but they are not students of the Funk”. Personally, I have a PHD in the Funk.
Once you have the pieces in place, spark up a smoke, kick up your Gucci Loafers and enjoy the entertainment.
The Amsterdam Nap
I invented Amsterdam Naps in Amsterdam back in 1994. They have been an important part of my Arsenal ever since. This was back when Raves were King and Beans could be had for two bucks each if not free (I had mad damage connects in those days). This was also during the music wars between Amsterdam and Rotterdam to see who could make there music faster. Girls had mad pony tails and pigtails, like Pippi-Longstockings. I think its cause of this period of my life that I pigtail a lot of my girls today, Pippi-Longstocking them. After a successful title shot Runner that some of my local Dutch G friends (one of whom was Top-Ranked Psycho-Killer/ Playboy) took me on, I needed to recharge my batteries. I slept for like 72 hours straight. No joke. Very different from the Vampire Nap (which is like for 5 to 20 minutes) but no less functional. Today, any nap over 24 hours qualifies as an Amsterdam Nap. Make sure you use a Tempra-pedic pillow or Tempra-pedic bed and some high thread count Egyptian Cottons. Turn the alarm clock off. The Rest is Up to You……..
Side Note:
Right now one of the most interesting Beefs in Hip-Hop is going on Between Jay-Z and the Dip-Set. The craziest part is that it seems Jim Jones is winning the battle. Now he has dragged in Nas as well (By the way the Nas track “Hip Hop is Dead” is off the rails). He is obviously in very deep water, going against two of the best lyricists in the Game, (and I not sure Jim Jones even raps that well) but the lesson to be learned is sometimes you have to take shots at the Main Guns. Jay might end up burying Jim Jones, but you have to love the underdog that has the guts to make a move (Jay does have some very futuristic word play on his new album that very few can touch, “I heard muthafuckers sayin’ they made Hov…,
Made Hov say ‘OK, so, make another Hov’…”). “Mami always told me to aim for the stars/ and now I’m beefing and I’m aiming at stars/ I pack heat like it came with the car, you catch em in the streets I’m a lay him like a broad/ Told Juan tell your old ass to chill/ Better slow down before your old ass get killed.” –Jim Jones
Side Note II:
Thinking about Amsterdam reminded me of a little story. My friend lets call him “Laurens” who I mentioned above was a Local Amsterdam G who I met when Game recognized Game…player recognition. He was at the time making a move in the Bean Trade, but some older Guys, real hoods, killers even, were the Top Kiddies. Laurens, who was along with being a funny guy and could Spit the Gift, was a first rate Sociopath. His ambitiousness was not looked upon too favorably by the older more established firm and when I was rolling mobb deep (and I am not talking about Rolling Deep that fresh London Grime Group either) with him the situation was a sneeze away from a full-on warfare. But amazingly, as the war heated up, “Accidents” befell both of the Main Guns of the other Firm. One committed suicide (and I don’t mean Suits VS SuicideGirls) fell asleep in his garage with his car running, death by affixation/Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. The other fell down an open elevator shaft in The Red Light District. After that he was the Top Bean Flipper. Just goes to show when you aim for the Stars.
Side note III:
Back in March in The Smoking Gun I gave a free investment tip: “Go long oil, long gambling, and long cigarette smuggling.” Exxon (XOM)was trading around 59 dollars then last week it was 75. Wynn (WYNN) was around 64 dollars last week it was almost 95. Obviously Cigarette smuggling has been profitable. I hope you took my advice. And yes, I do except thank you cards.
“I never stopped believing in the G, you motor boat riding son of a bitch. Since I am a full fledged G now, I can appreciate the work of another fellow G. The “Vegas Guy” has defeated me in the past, I cannot not lie, but not anymore. I am quick to throw bows and draw my Nickel Plated these days like any other G, but I don’t find it necessary since I shit roses, piss Cristal and can talk Rosie O’Donnell out of finishing the last piece of cheesecake. I enjoyed last weekend at the Wynn when I swooped on pumpkin head Derek Jeter’s bitch, he looked at me, I flashed my silver and said “stick to your little wooden stick skippy”, I proceeded to take her to my dungeon and treat her like a soccer ball at a grade school in Portugal. Fun times, true story. Besides slinging gold Bullion coins, closing small arms deals with cartels in Belize and successfully drilling in Texas infill sites I have been pretty much the Dapper Don of G’s. I was in a high end liquor store in Tuscany last night and a fine woman with Royalty in her beautiful veins winked at me and said it smelled like a fresh Cuban Cigar, end of story!!!”
“Far as lyrics go:
They rocking recitals
It won’t stop until I’m on top with the title
Hustling no stopping the cycle, I’m shopping for rifles
I’m not for the idols
Fuck the twin towers dog, we on top of the Eiffel
Like live Pisa Pisa, eating a piece of pizza
You cant be were I be dog, you need a visa
Come on cheeb of reefer
Please believe it, I will squeeze and leave ya
All bullets they will heat and seek ya Harlem world I’m a swell my town
You a clown you can tell by now
That I’m, I’m ready, I’m ready we coming for the title”
-Excellent word play from Cam’ron on “I’m Ready” …..sick sample too.
People are always coming up and asking me, “how do you go to Las Vegas and night after night swoop girls and stay Undefeated?” Great question. Is it the textblasters and huge rolodex of beautiful girls? Sure. Thick Bankroll? Obviously. Great Genetics? Absolutely. A Playboy bloodline going back to the Original Don Juan in Spain? Bet your life on it.
Recently, I was reading some Las Vegas Player advice by some pseudo “g” and he was claiming he gets girls 50% of the time he is in Vegas. I am thinking to myself 50%? That’s a horrible success rate, especially in Vegas. If my success rate was that poor, I wouldn’t even expect you to read this. But you should read this because my success rate is over 100%. Beyond Undefeated. Beyond Undefeated is when you have swooped more girls than you have spent nights in a city. There are certain does and don’ts you must apply if you want to be successful. Here are some Impeccable Techniques:
Avoid Local Mystery Suite Parties
These sound good on Paper, especially when pitched to you by some 21 year old Maybelline Queen Exotic Dancer. She will tell you something like “lets go up to this suite party on the 56th floor of the Bellagio”. Yeah sounds good on paper. The reality is that you will have to mix with Local Vegas Guy (And I don’t mean Alain Ducasse’s Mix or Mix Lounge in THE HOTEL either). Avoid local Vegas guy at all costs. Especially local vegas promoter guy. These guys are really fronters, scumbags and losers. Although these guys front like they have connections in Vegas, they usually just know other low-end bottom feeder types. The reason why these guys are so bad, I think, (And I don’t give them much thought) is because Vegas is an expensive place, (for most, for me its cheap) champagne drinking limo riding and all that. Local Vegas Promoter guy has to compete with that every night or else he gets mopped up by tourist guy. And I am not a mathmetician but when local vegas promoter guy is pulling down $27,500 a year, the life style just doesn’t add up. Plus he has to go to the salon to get his hair styled and needs to buy tons of cool T-shirts with writing on them to keep up the “cool, party guy act”. And as we know, those 3rd World Sweatshop made T-shirt aren’t cheap. So what Vegas Guy has to do is cut corners. Rip people off. Not to mention a rampant drug problem. This is all a recipe for disaster. Personally, I am more interested in Galatoire’s recipe for Gumbo or Turtle Soup. It’s important to have a good Running Partner with you in these situations, that way you can kick up your Gucci Loafers, spark up a smoke with a vintage Dunhill lighter, finish off your Goose and Soda, and check the time with a Vintage 1960’s Breitling Watch (to see if your in the kill zone for Gentleman’s Clubs) while your Running Partner ads a couple of KO’s to his record “on the cobbles”.
Utilize the “Ultra-Lounges”
In Vegas they call Lounges “Ultra-Lounges”. If you ask me, it sounds pretty gay. Regardless, they are functional spots to use as early night meeting points. They are real easy to get into and are easy to find someone. Also a good place to get back up leads as fly girls usually are to be found in Ultra-Lounges.
Don’t get blinded by the Light (and I don’t mean Andrew Sasson’s Club Light either)
Avoid going to Gentlemans Club’s on Friday and Saturday Night at 11 or 12. Even when you are Untouchable like Eliot Ness. I know you got the Custom-Made suit on, hand made shoes from England, and got on the best tie in your collection. Your Bullet-proof, Hard to Kill like Steven Segal. Still, avoid the the Gentlemans club early. You Will get “Pole-Axed”, “Jelly-Fished” and/or “Blinded out”. You don’t have to be an expert in Econometric Modeling to know that Gentleman’s Clubs are all about supply and demand. When there are more girls than guys in Gentleman’s Clubs its all systems go. When there are more guys than girls in a Gentleman’s Club the system is clogged. But if your dressed sharp like a porcupine in a Custom Suit by Duncan Quinn with side vents, blood red shirt by Dior Homme with silver and black cufflinks, no tie, pocket square by Thom Browne, Custom shoes by John Lobb on St. James Street or Edward Green on Jermyn Street in exotic skins (refined decadence) you have a more than decent shot at it.
Oysters
We have mentioned this before. But don’t start any night in Vegas without Oysters. A good portfolio would be some Cotuit Oysters (Massachusetts), NetartsBay (Oregon), and some Winterpoints (Maine). (Skip the Hamma Hamma Oysters (Washington) and the Kumamoto (Oregon), they suck.) Caviar and Florida Stone Crabs also make for a nice well rounded opening salvo. RM Mooney, Daniel Boulud’s Daniel, Alain Ducasse’s Mix, even Aquanox are all worth an early stop by.
Girls in Street Clothes
Want to pull Fly Girls out of a Gentleman’s Club in less time than it takes you to finish two Goose and Sodas? (And I drink fast). Here is how you do it: Target Girls in street clothes. They are already on their way out the spot, so half the battle is already won. Last time in Vegas I walked in (dressed impeccably of course) to a great Gentleman’s Club and 17 minutes later left with three Fly girls, destination: my suite at Wynn Resorts (in the girls defense, the spot was filled with Regular Guy, and I was wearing an Ridiculous suit by Paul Smith, my track record is flawless, and my skin had a healthy flush from the spa earlier in the day, so I could hardly blame them for wanting to leave with me). Not bad for a Wednesday night.
Side Note:
Avoid Girls with “Property of (insert Biker Gang)” Tattoos. Weather it be The Hells Angels, The Banditos, The Pagans, The Rock Machine (now merged with The Banditos), The Outlaws or The Henchmen. In fact, it’s better to avoid Gentleman’s Clubs with Biker Gangs in general. Unless of course you are trying to find distribution for a large quantity on Crystal Meth, in that case, you found the right guys. You don’t want to get in the Crossfire of a Gang War and find out how good you are at ducking wrenches. I remember one time years back in Los Angeles, I was with a local beautiful Hollywood, prototype SuicideGirl/ Nightlife Princess and the Motorcycle Club in attendance didn’t take too kindly to me. Not sure why. But I do know, if it wasn’t for my Desert Eag and a cab with perfect timing I might have not had a Magical Night.
James “Lights Out” Toney
Partying in Las Vegas, even with Entering The Dragon, will get you in pretty bad physical shape over a few day period. Don’t be Vain about it or let it get you down. James “Lights Out” Toney, became one of the Greatest Boxers of his Generation and he did it not by being in great shape. He has always said, “Boxing is not a Bodybuilding Competition” (you remember a “chubby” Tim Witherspoon knocking out the Adonis Frank Bruno for the Heavyweight title, right?). Well, “Las Vegas is not a Bodybuilding Competition either”. Vegas is a GAME competition. (Well, maybe that Rehab Sunday pool party at the Hard Rock is a Bodybuilding Competition, but I have never been. The last place I want to be in Vegas in the summer time is at the Hard Rock pool with a bunch of personal trainer Guys from Arizona with Tribal Tattoos.) James Toney made it happen by being Tough, having tons of Heart, an Iron Chin, superb Counter Punching, a will to win, and lets face it: Impeccable Technique. Be a James Toney.
The Vegas Dance
No this isn’t some dance like The BankHead Bounce, The Harlem Shake, The Young Joc Motorcycle Dance, The Patty Duke, the Wrench or the Tango. Or even dope Breakdance moves like The Turtle, The Baby, Top Rock, Brooklyn Flare, Freezes, Windmills, Suicides (And I don’t mean SuicideGirls either) Headspins or Crazy Legs ill backspin in “Beat Street”. If you are like me, come 3am in Vegas, you will have plenty of options for Girls. Especially, if you follow The Blueprint for a Perfect Night in Vegas. Hold out for your best option. The best part about Vegas is that you have more time if you need it. Behind on the Score Cards after Twelve Rounds? Well, the great thing in Vegas is there is a Round 13. Hell, in Vegas you have as many rounds as you need to win the fight! No need to get jumpy and call it a night with the Ex-Sorority Girl in town from Ohio for a Bachelorette party who gave you her number. Hold out for something with some punch to it. For instance:
Girl Plus Friend
This is one of the most important techniques to Being Beyond Undefeated. It is a high risk move. But without Risk there cannot be Reward. To be a Top G, Top Pedigree, you need to embrace Risk. That’s why I trade Futures instead of Options. Unlimited Downside, but Unlimited Upside potential as well. So you have been stick and moving all night like Zab Judah, and you got a Fly Girl meeting you back at the Parasol Up bar ready to Kostya Tszyu her. Tell her to bring a Girlfriend. Leverage your position. Dame Sizzler style. When you get back to your Suite, have an In-Room Gymnastics Competition. Remember to Score the Girls on difficulty, form, originality AND artistry. Make sure you get a couple of Nadia Comaneci’s……. The Rest is Up to You……..
”Another day another dollar it’s about gettin money
Then you can give me a holla, my nose runny
I’ve been out in the cold, hustlin for so long
my hands numb, but bet I feel that paper in my palm
It’s the H-A-V-O, C-dump-and-reload
Knock knock, answer that, I’m blastin through the peephole
Body charges, pay lawyers so we beat those
But get locked and I’m sluttin lady C.O.’s
Y’all like bitches – the chit-chatterin
Stay not likin a nigga but givin dap to him
Hav’ don’t change for no chick, and they adapt to him
Never get cool with you niggaz, I end up clappin ’em
But losin ain’t a option girl
My destination is top of the world, top of the world”
(Select verses by Havoc of Mobb Deep and the chorus from The G Manifesto Certified Classic “Win or Lose”….don’t sleep on the Prodigy verses either)
Insight in to the Suicide Girl:
You have seen her; very fly, sometimes close to beautiful, lots of tattoos, bangs, pigtails, multi-colored hair, piercings on more places than just the ears, horrible taste in music, sassy, nasty, flashy, sometimes far from classy, brazen, and brash etc. These girls can go by many different names and there are many different strains, for example: DeviantAngels, GothDolls, GodsGirls, FlyDolls, MayhemBeautys, LawlessDarlings, MayhemModels, TurmoilTreasures, RazorDolls, RevolutionHoneys, VampireMinxs, SubcultureHoneys, InsaneDames, MoonstruckSugars, DeliriousDreams, DerangedFlames, AlternaPets, and ToxicGoddesses. Many people think these girls are a new phenomenon, but are just the latest incarnation of the Modern free thinking female. You can trace the evolution back to the 90’s Raver/Grunge fusion Girl, to the 80’s Punk Rock Girl, to the 70’s Disco roller skate girl to the 60’s hippy girl to the 50’s Beat Girl and Bobby Sox girl to the 40’s and 30’s Pin-up girl all the way back to the 20’s Flapper Girl. There is something about Flapper Girl hair that gets me every time. I wouldn’t call The G VS Suicide Girls a Super Fight but I would call it an exciting match up worthy of your Pay Per View dough. These girls may seem to be a departure for the usual diet of The G, which consists of Rich daughters, Socialite Girls and Model Chicks. Its really all about diversifying your portfolio. The advantage of these SuicideGirls? They can be mad freaky and hot like a Bar-B-Que on a rendezvous. And in my book, that’s all the reason you need.
Tale of the Tape
The Match up between The G and the Suicide Girl might seem tricky for The G on paper. First of all, these girls listen to crappy Bands (I mean seriously, has there been a good band in the last 15 years besides The Roots, and The Ishlab/RussBoy?) The guys they hang out with (sleeve tattoos, terrible dressers, with terrible haircuts, are members of crappy bands, and generally are losers with horrible style) have nothing in common with The G (a well dressed, dashing, flash, Gentleman, CASH rich hoodlum, and International Playboy on the Rise). Suicides are very “counter-culture” and underground, and very anti-establishment. But then again, so is the G. In fact, The G is way more underground than the guys the SuicideGirl hangs out with will ever be. The G spends half his time in the Underworld and half in the Upperworld. The G is oftentimes the Liaison between the two worlds. But like they say, “Styles Make Fights”. SuicideGirls might think they like Loser guys, your job, as The G, is to prove they don’t (if only for a night). Here Goes.
Setting up the Fight
It doesn’t really matter if its; Canali VS Chaosgirls, Brioni VS Burningangels, Armani VS Anarchyangels, Prada VS PandemoniumBeauties, Etro VS EntanglementAngels, Dolce and Gabbana VS DebaucheryDolls, Burberry VS BerserkBabys, or Etro VS EcstasySirens. You need to set up the match up. The obvious way is to join one of those online communities, and try to swoop using Digital Game. This is a little too new-school for The G, and takes way too much time and effort (Although I’ll be honest, I have considered it). Plus, all that time in front of the computer screen is bad for your eyes. An easy way is to go to Suicide-friendly Bars (careful, you could find yourself Behind Enemy Lines), and After-hours and eclectic, artsy neighborhoods. I have done an unofficial study, and Western states have more Suicides than Eastern States. Seattle is extremely Suicide-friendly, and I am sure Portland is (although I have never been). California is Suicide Turf as well. Hair Salons are Suicide strongholds as are coffee shops (Personally I only go to Salons and coffee shops to swoop Suicides, I get my hair cut at Barbershops and drink Double-Espressos at Italian Trattorias and French Cafes, Bistros, and Brasseries).
Round One: The Approach
This is when you need to use effective aggressiveness. You need to step to Suicides well dressed; Valentino is known to work well (with Gucci loafers, Black Zegna shirt, Black and Grey Armani tie, and Brioni Pocket square, tie optional). Usually they will be taken off-guard that you are stepping to them. Introduce yourself, the good part is these girls usually won’t care if you have a Cigarette hanging from your mouth when you talk to them (for some reason Cigars don’t work as well, unless it’s a Romeo Y Julietta Churchill)
Round Two: Body Attack
This is where you have to establish some sort of Common Ground with the Suicide. Seems like it would be impossible. The best subjects to find something in common are ART, Tattoos (careful, this one is overdone), DJing, and Hip Hop. These girls are really young usually (18-26) and don’t know shit about Hip-Hop. They think Snoop Dog is “old-school”. They don’t know the first thing about DJ Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five, The Treachous Three, The Funky Four Plus One, Grandwizard Theodore, Cold Crush Brothers, Afrika Bambaataa, Rock Steady Crew, Cool “Disco” Dan, Crazy Legs or CRASH. They also usually don’t know that Hip-Hop is made of four equal parts: MCing, DJing, B-Boying, and Graf Art. Educate them. For some reason they really like this stuff. Land clean effective punches. Also these girls are more often than not have a predilection for left-wing, Liberal Politics. The ones that are not are retarded. Keep the politics light as a rule of thumb with all girls, you don’t want all the blood to rush to a girls brain, its better to have that blood in other parts of her body.
Round Three: Defense
Usually when you are swooping on the Flyest Suicide Girl in the spot, the Guys they hang out with will try to neutralize you. Flashing CASH will usually put these Guys back on their heels. Or flashing a heater. (side note: Recently I was accused of “brandishing” a Glock 17 in a high-end Gentleman’s Club. To put rumors to rest, I don’t even know what “brandishing” means, and I own a Glock 19 not a Glock 17. Get it straight.) The good news is these guys are really not too tough, I mean, you have to make a bigger commitment to being tough than growing a Goatee and getting Sleeve tattoos. Lets face it, tattoos don’t hurt That much. Some of these guys play in bands, and grew up in the Suburbs, its not like they are veterans of Urban Ethnic Street Wars that where so popular in the late 70’s and 80’s like your humble author. If you have gone up against Serbian War Criminals (negotiation), or Aryan Nation fuckheads (12 gauge Shotty) like myself, you won’t really sweat these guys. Dismiss them. They actually give you a good excuse to take the SuicideGirl somewhere better.
Round Four: Pile up the Points
Take them to a cultural place. Many of these girls didn’t grow up in a family with strong old world roots. They don’t know the first thing about Haute Cuisine. A hot meal goes along way with these girls. And when I say “hot meal” I mean something that wasn’t heated in a microwave. Seafood and Suicides. Take her to a dope spot and maybe order something like Pan Roasted Monkfish; Confit Peppers and Fiery “Patatas Bravas” with a Verjus-Lemon Grass Emulsion and some Talbott Chardonnay Monterey (100 points Wine Spectator). Oysters work well on Suicides as well. Many of them have a problem with red meat. Don’t argue the issue. Just remember, no Seafood on a Monday. If the SuicideGirl is a vegan, you are screwed. You should have qualified her better at the Bar.
Round Five: Ring Generalship
Make it your fight. Impose your will. Like when a boxer is facing a faster opponent, he roughs up his opponent, fouls him, bullies him. Or if you’re facing a stronger opponent, stay outside; use your footwork, quickness. That’s Ring Generalship. Take the Suicide to a place you have on lockdown. Take her to your Turf. Your Base of Operations. Your Domain. Your Dojo.
Round Six: Close the show, KO
Now you need to decide weather or not you want to take the Suicide to her crib or yours. The downside of her crib is that her cat’s hair is going to get all over your Brioni Suit, and she probably has cheap booze. Upside: Play her and her Suicide friend like Betty and Wilma: make their Bedrock. Your Place: top shelf booze, but then she knows where you live. Like Dres of the Black Sheep said, “The Choice is Yours”. A hotel is a better option. No need to go Ritz Carlton. Something Boutique and artsy she will appreciate more. Have fun. The Rest is UP To You………………………………
Side Note: Close these girls quick. They don’t exactly age gracefully like say, Janet Jackson.
Side Note Two: Props to the G’s that pulled off the Laguna Hills Diamond Heist. The Headlines read “Laguna Hills Jewel Heist Was Smooth — but Videotaped”. (I can still remember my first headline like it was yesterday.) It was smooth as mantequilla, but the video could prove damaging down the road. Hopefully, they wore good disguises. That’s why Halloween is a good time for Heists. The other bad part of the heist was they had to go to OrangeCounty to do it. Otherwise, a job well done.
Side Note Three: Be a positive influence to SuicideGirls. Often, they have had rough times. Try to inject some joy into their lives. I do.
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ AKA Michael the Saint
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life http://www.thegmanifesto.com
Shoot for tha moon if you miss, you still amongst those stars”
–Beanie Siegel “Feel it in the Air”
There is no denying that Technology has changed “The Game”. For better or worse, you need to adapt if you going to stay one step ahead in The 21st Century. Today we will analyze how The Internet, Cellphones, and The Digital world has changed the world of the G. And listen up, because I have gotten inside more skirts than washing instructions.
Caller ID and Voicemail
Obviously the invention of the telephone or the invention of the Printing Press (which was invented by Johannes Gutenberg, probably the most important person of last millennium next to Jack Dempsey, Muhammad Ali, and Don Juan) had the biggest impact on Game. But those two inventions happened way before my time. Probably the biggest technological innovation during my lifetime effecting Game has been Caller ID and Voice Mail. Gone are the days of constantly calling a girl until you get her “live” on the phone. Game has mutated from being skillful on a “hot call” to needing to leave innovative voice messages. This is certainly the case today as most girls won’t even answer calls where they don’t recognize the phone number or blocked calls. Unless you have multiple cell phones (like I do) you really only have one chance to hook a girl that you met at the bar and got her phone number. In the old days you had a million chances. So you need to up your leaving voicemail leaving skills in the Digital Game. Saying something like:
“Michelle, It was great meeting you during happy hour last Friday afternoon, I was the guy drinking the Miller light with my Mortgage broker buddies, and I was thinking maybe uh, sometime we could meet again and we could meet at the sports bar and have some potato skins and “brews” and you could meet all my buddies that wear khaki pants and striped shirts…..” isn’t going to cut it. At least not any girl that’s going to electrocute your nervous system.
You need to leave a message like this: “Davinia, Hola, Its Michael, I am having some Lobster Ravioli’s with my Godfather and a glass of Robert Biale, Black Chicken Zin, getting ready to go to the airport to go to Punta Del Este, but I will be back soon if I don’t go to Buenos Aires to check on the construction of my cousins nightclub, or to the Caymans to meet my Uncle who is doing some Banking down there, so give me a call so we can meet up when I am back in town. Ciao.”
Email
Now when I was coming up, and you wanted to keep in touch with girls in different cities or different countries, you had to write them a letter. Suprisingly, Email has actually made life easier. Personally, I never thought it would. In fact, I still remember when one of my friends (who is a G in his own right, good idea man, good visionary, and a good hijacker and has moved more Miami Base than Luke Skywalker from 2 Live Crew, now known as just Luke) first told me about Email. After he gave me a demonstration about how to use it, I remember saying “No one is ever going to use that crap”. I guess I was wrong. Email actually is a lot easier than having to go to the post office, and helps people with poor handwriting. Less personal, but saves you time that you could spend scheming, relaxing at a Gentleman’s Club, monitoring Armored Car routes, or spitting some street game.
Text Messaging
Text Messaging is actually a technological advancement that has helped the G. Here is the perfect situation: You are winding up a great business dinner; Mac and Cheese (Gruyere), Foie Gras 4 ways, Fresh Free Range Scallop Tartare, some raw little neck clams, some Winterpoint (Maine), Cape Breton (Nova Scotia), Malpeque (Prince Edward Island), and Tatamagouche (Nova Scotia) Oysters and a Bone Dry Sauvignon Blanc from the Graves District of France’s Bordeaux region. Suited down of course (Charcoal pinstriped Zegna Two Button, Grey Alexander McQueen Shirt, Deep Blue Kiton pocket Square, no tie, I think), with some friends and its only 11:45 pm and you are wondering what you should do with your head buzz and the rest of the evening. The best thing to do is shoot out a “Text Blaster” to ten girls you know and see who else is out on a Wednesday night. I usually get a better than 50% response rate, and I work off the fresh leads. This is way quicker than calling a bunch of girls and saves you precious (and I don’t mean that girl that works at the Penthouse Executive Club in NYC who goes by the stage name Precious, real name Sara, either) time. Text Blasters are one of my secrets to staying Undefeated, night after night.
Camera Phones
Anyone who has gone out in the last year has noticed the proliferation of Camera Phones in the Nightclubs and Restaurants. Personally, it annoys me and I avoid pictures at all costs. My Uncle (who was a top-notch Heist man in his own right) always told me to avoid pictures so there is no record of you being somewhere at sometime. Constructing alibi’s and things like that (and I don’t mean The Alibi, that great Exotic Dancer meeting point in New Orleans either). Regular 9 to 5 girls and Tourist girls will always try to get you in their pictures. Avoid them. If you stuck in one, get good at mastering the “turn your head” move before the Pic is taken. The only real purpose for the camera phone is documenting some girls you swooped on if someone in your crew doesn’t believe you swooped two Model girls, one blonde, one Latina, the night before.
Internet Dating Websites
Some people say you can meet mad girls on these. I don’t doubt it. But these sites are not really G Manifesto Material. Not Tactical.I have never done them and never will. Call me old-school if you want. I’m fine with that.
Evites
On paper, Seems like a great way to let a lot of people know your having a gig! In reality, it’s a great way to get a lot of un-interesting people together all at once. Try to think of any gig you have gone to from an Evite that was fun…..Exactly. Avoid all gigs from Evites.
MySpace
Many younger proto-type G’s swear by MySpace. I have checked it out and there are Mad Girls on it. But I am simply way too busy hanging at The Race Track, The Fights, Hotel Lobby Bars, Planning Heists, Counting Money, Grading Gems, Adjusting my Triple-Beam, Swooping Models, and Taking The G Manifesto to the next Chamber to screw around on that website (I barely have enough time to write For The People on The G Manifesto, and line for line, rhyme for rhyme The Manifesto is the Dopest site on the Internet, right?). I don’t knock the hustle though. I think if you are a Rhyme Spitter, a DJ, an artist, or whatever I think it is a great way to get your Product out there. The one good thing about it for the G is DATA. Here is the Situation: you meet a girl at some high-end gig and you think her family could be loaded with tons of Scratch. Grab her email address and plug it into MySpace and check her profile (almost every young girl has one these days, It is completely ludicrous, and I don’t mean the MC from ATL either). Check out her photos. If she has pictures of her family in front of their Track home in Phoenix or pictures of her and her girl friends drinking with some guys that could be part of The “Jackass” crew you know you’ve been duped and she is after Your dough. Information is the greatest Commodity.
I am sure this will be updated as new Technology gets created. Personally, I think we have enough. I think we should have stopped at Pagers (which was one invention that I thought made it easier to somersault Bricks) and I have recently toyed with the idea of returning to them. Well see. Till then…The Rest is Up to You………………..
“Gitty Up!!! Simply fantastic advice a real treat for the up and coming G, you were born to be a mentor. As for the 4 dead bodies, it would have been 5 but my SIG jammed up. Last time I was at the track I dropped 3 beans, got super wasted off the guitar margaritas in the peasant section and passed out in horse stable if it weren’t for a jockey with a moped helmet urinating on my face at 6 AM the next day I may have been raped by Seabiscuit. My game is on a whole other level now, I plan on hitting up this Del Mar gig soon after my next heist in LA, I plan on coming in fresh threads and bank roll big enough to fill up Santa’s Sleigh. Locals have been calling me simply “The Machete”. Going from Dickies and GAP tees to Gucci Loafers and 36 D’s is a tribute to your greatness Mr. Ghost Hands, see you in the French Riviera Mutha Fucka!!!”
–Two words: Colt Python. You should look into it.—MPM
And
“You think you are so fucking cool. Please tell me you didn’t come up with all the foolishness on that stupid page yourself. If you did, #1 – you have too much time on your hands. #2 – You are modeling your fantasy life from Puff Daddy’s world. #3 – You take yourself way too seriously. Nice Try. Real “players” that have “game” would never, EVER waste time posting about it on Blogger. You need to stop reading hip-hop lyrics and modeling your fantasy life from it. You lie! You sound like someone who watches too many music videos on BET. Remember that!”
—–First of all Skippy, watch the language, ladies read The G Manifesto. Second, I do like BET, and I have drank Champagne with Puff, but I like underground Hip-Hop more or just kicking back and watching “Wild Style”. Third, “We all know that Game is not truth. Game is a lie that makes us realize the truth.” And you can quote me on that G Manifesto original. Remember that……. Squeaky—MPM
Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Coffin, The Shovel, and The Headstone
AKA Michael Digital
AKA Miguel Analog
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life http://www.thegmanifesto.com
