So I roll into my first Yoga class. I have no idea what to wear to this gig so I go with the black wife beater, Wild Card Boxing Club t-shirt, Everlast hoodie and Quik boardshorts. You know, the height of Fashion for Yoga G Set. Or at least that is what I think it should be.
As I step into the arena, I mean, the waiting area, I see a fly girl that is as hot as the bullet that went into Abe Lincoln. So what do I do?
I go and sit next to her and say, “hello”.
She smiles and says “hello” back.
The atmosphere is very relaxed and subdued, but I get a good back and forth dialog going on with her. She can tell I am The G.
She is down. I will swoop her after class on the real.
I grab a spot in the back, just like when I was in school, because I have no idea what the f*ck is going on.
This was actually a good move because I can spock all the fly girls in the class. And it is basically all girls.
Minimal guys, only two others. The competition is non-existent. One guy is probably suspect and the other is softer than a soft serve cone in Venice Beach in August.
Street-hardened, well-traveled, International Playboys that survived The Extacsy Wonder Gang Wars, like your humble author, these guys are not.
We bust out the class, and I did pretty well actually. The fly girl teacher asks me, “Was that really your first class?”
When it ends, I feel great. I almost want to yell, “Let’s all get some cocktails and have a smoke!”, but I decide that it would be inappropriate in the Yoga Dojo.
Then the fly girl that I was talking to at the beginning of the class just gets up, rolls up her mat and splits.
This is a topic I am not at all unfamiliar with. In fact, cooking and swooping is a mainstay for me, especially when I am in places with weak nightlife like The California Police State. California also has the benefit of great ingredients for cooking, so it works all the way around.
Roosh busts out a little step by step:
1. Execute the move only on date two or beyond. A girl will most likely not accept you dinner date offer after only talking to you for an hour at the bar. For her to have a date in your house, a minimum of two face-to-face interactions must be achieved before she’ll want to come over.
2. You must have at least kissed and slightly groped her at the previous meeting. The move is done when the next logistical step is sex, which usually falls on date two or three. Otherwise what will happen is you waste the move to get no more than a kiss.
3. Pre-sell the date. If you’re at the end of a first date where kissing and touching has happened, say, “How about next time we do dinner at my place? I just learned how to cook a new dish.” She will be noncommittal, which is fine, because you’re just planting the seed so that she begins to accept the idea of coming over. There’s no need to iron out the exact time or date. Contact her in a couple days to make the plan.
4. Don’t start cooking until she arrives. There are two reasons for this. First, you want the cooking process to help you put in “face time” where she gets comfortable in your home. Second, you want her to start drinking while her stomach is empty so the booze (usually wine) has maximum effect. After eating, the alcohol will barely make a dent in her decision-making apparatus, so get her drinking as much as you can before the meal. Therefore it’s good to have meals that take at least one hour to prepare. To encourage drinking, try to stock your house with her booze preference, which you should know from your previous meetings with her.
5. Cook something you know. Don’t make the mistake I made several years ago by planning an elaborate three course meal that had me more focused on the food than the girl. It also showed that I was trying to impress her, which causes most American girls to lose attraction. Instead, cook a basic meal that is edible. If it’s pasta with Ragu sauce, then so be it. I usually cook rice with chicken and vegetables, a light meal that alcohol can punch through like a bulldozer. If she makes fun of you for such a simple dish, sarcastically apologize that you’re not a gourmet chef.
6. After dinner, get her on a surface where sex can occur. I like couches. It’s not hard to start banging there and then move to the bedroom. Many guys make the mistake of suggesting to watch a movie after dinner, but by the time it’s over she will have sobered up. Instead, put on The Weeknd, sit on the couch, talk, and then start kissing. After a bit of this, when you’re sure she’s aroused, get her straddled on top of you and start taking off her clothes (shirt and bra first). Have a condom already in your back pocket so that you don’t need to disturb the action by getting up to retrieve one. If you don’t have a couch, give her a “tour” of your room and put the music on there.
However, I don’t really “Pre-sell” the date. I just tell girls whats up. I call them up and tell them to come over because I am cheffing up a masterpiece. I always tell them to wear high heels as well. For aesthetic purposes.
Also, the whole “I usually cook rice with chicken and vegetables…If she makes fun of you for such a simple dish, sarcastically apologize that you’re not a gourmet chef.” doesn’t really fly in the circles I run in.
Maybe some free-range Roasted Chicken a la Zuni Cafe in San Francisco but that’s about it.
But here is what I bust out when I want to swoop fly high-end girls, The Shrimp and Linguine Swoop Move Recipe:
1. I usually start by popping a bottle of Spanish Red and bust out a quick Caprese Salad. (No need for the recipe here. Just get some fresh mozarella or burrata from the little Italian market down the street and some heirloom tomatoes, Sea Salt and fresh Basil. I usually use Grape Seed Oil in the place of Olive Oil for style points. You should look into it). I also usually strip down to the wife beater, for old-school style points, and I don’t want to splash any Olive Oil on my Custom Suits.
2. Make some Fresh Linguine. Save some of the Pasta Water. Throw on an old-school G Italian Track (for symmetry) to set the mood:
3. While the water is boiling for the Fresh Linguine, crisp up some Pancetta, Capicola or some Prosciutto di San Daniele. Or all three. Put it off to the side. Maybe throw on a Latin Track and dance with her for a minute so she feels the vibe:
4. By this point, she is probably ready to be swooped. And many times, I swoop girls at this point. If I want to “carry” my opponent a few more rounds, I will do this: In a pan, heat up some Extra Virgin Olive Oil, crushed Red Pepper and freshly minced garlic. Let it work it’s magic.
5. Throw in some Lemon Zest and let it infuse into the oil.
6. Throw in some Jumbo Shrimp. Now when I say “Jumbo Shrimp”, I don’t mean that wack Jumbo Shrimp they have in your hood. I am talking about Shrimp way bigger and fresher than you can get. The Shrimp I get, you have to have connects direct with local fisherman. Work on your connects and you can get to the level you need to be someday.
7. Rip up some Organic Basil and throw that into the mix holmes. Smell it. Enjoy an elegant high, fly pelican fly.
8. Spark up a smoke and take a big glup of Vino.
9. Toss in the Fresh Linguine you have already cooked with a little Pasta Water you saved from earlier.
10. Add a little Salt and Pepper to taste.
11. Throw it on a Plate.
12. Decorate plate with some more ripped Fresh Basil for color.
13. Crumble up the Pancetta, Capicola or some Prosciutto di San Daniele all over the Pasta and Shrimp. The colors are straight up Bellisimo.
14. Add a little Olive Oil.
15. Grate a little Fresh Parmesan.
Knock out punch.
If you make this dish and you can’t swoop the girl you are trying to swoop, Next her, because there is no way you are going to swoop her.
4. I have never seen a 3D movie (save the old school ones as a kid, think those horror ones). I have never seen Avatar. I can’t handle looking at Blue people for three hours.
5. I have never seen that Leonardo Depricio, movie The Titanic. In fact, I make an effort to not consume popular culture. I consider this one of my “keys to success”.
6. I know how to work on cars. Although these days I rarely drive. I realized a few years ago that every time I was arrested, jailed or caught in the rookers of the milicents; it was “vehicular related” in some way. That being said, I still will slide a Cadillac to The Del Mar Racetrack in summertime though to reclaim my #1 Spot. Turf Club Parking. What’s up?
7. I know my way around a construction site, and worked construction for two years and multiple summers as a young pup. I can hang sheetrock, run copper and PVC, do carpentry and I am an artist with a jackhammer, skilsaw and a chainsaw. I never really learned electric but can bust out some.
8. I have driven Cross country 3 times in my life. It was 3 times too many. This was back in my “transport” days. I thought it was going to be all “On The Road” style like my man Jack Kerouac. It wasn’t. America is a hell hole of strip malls, fat people, track housing and chain restaurants. The only redeeming parts of Middle America are Las Vegas, New Orleans and Chicago.
9. At one point, I had close to $100,000 in credit card debt. And over $300,000 in debt to the kind of people that don’t exactly send you “past due” notices in the mail. All my accounts are clear now. Maybe one day I will write about how I got out of that situation.
10. I have never claimed to be a great writer. In fact, when I first started writing The G Manifesto, I could barely write. I never paid much attention in school. I mean yeah, I went to school. All the way through school, right in the front door and out the back. Read the earlier “Manifestos”. They are almost un-readable (interestingly, enough, it was back then when I was getting the most attention from the publishing world and Hollywood).
11. I have surfed many parts of the bubble. In fact, traveling, swooping and surfing was what my life was about in my younger years. You would be hard pressed to find someone that knows Las Playas de Norte Baja better than your humble author. Hell, I could write two “Manifestos” on the beaches of Northern Baja alone. But you know what? I never will. People just don’t talk about that place. Myself included.
12. I sometimes get para. But like Chopper Read once said, “Just because I am paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t trying to kill me”.
13. I once stayed up for 4 nights straight in New Orleans solely on a diet of Gulf Oysters, Creole food and Swooping fly New Orleans girls. No drugs. No joke. I was hallucinating and almost in tears. To the best of my knowledge this is a world record (one of two “un-official” World Records I think I hold). I may tell this whole story down the road.
14. I have a couple of dope screenplays I want to write. One of course, would be my life story. The younger years and the come up. The only problem is there is no actor dope enough in Hollywood to play me. The second screen play is about my Grandfather and his boxing gym in Northern Ireland. It is kind of “Michael Collins” meets “Hoosiers”. Both would be two of the dopest movies Hollywood has ever put out. Maybe I will write them once I learn how to actually write a screenplay. Anyone know how to do that sh*t?
15. I find the whirl and clicking of a money counter to be one of the most mellifluous sounds in the world. I am not joking. I really do. I have said it before, and I will say it again, “I am interested in money so one day I won’t have to be interested in money.” Can ya dig it?
16. I have a split personality. And each of my personalities is Bipolar, with an identity crisis. So, like, you know, it can get pretty Maddening being Michael Porfirio Mason. Like J.J. Connnolly has said, “Madness is the darkness in your head, the restless one percent that wants to push strangers under trains. Madness is paranoia made normal. Madness is when the mundane is insane, the insane mundane. Madness is thinking you can predict the future, while sitting in a jailhouse, doing birdlime. Madness is fun for a little while, then gets dark…then darker still. Madness is not to be believed…but is so fuckin convincing.”
17. There are a lot of other things I am sure I could do in my life that would make me rich and famous. However, I don’t want to sacrifice this whole “International Playboy” thing I got going on. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation. It is way too priceless. After all, International Playboys are really at the top of the food chain when you think about it.
18. I have extreme ADD, as witnessed by the frenetic jumping around of topics on The G Manifesto. My ADD seems to be getting worse with age. I actually consider it a strength, although it is enough to drive most men insane.
19. Recently, I have come to terms that I am going to be an International Playboy/ Gentleman of Leisure for life. It is not a choice. It is a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. I have no say in the matter. My life was predicted by a Gypsy. It was written and so it shall be.
20. I hate cell phones. If everyone agreed to turn them in tomorrow and stop using them, I would be first in line. I like pay phones.
21. I like flowers. I really do. One day I may open a flower shop when I am older. However, I am doing it “Dion O’Banion Style”. Although, lately, I am thinking I may open a salon or a massage place or a yoga spot when I get older so I can swoop mad fly girls into my later years. We’ll see.
22. I have friends in jail that I came up with. I have friends who have faded away due to The Mirror, The Razor Blade and The Straw. Not to mention some have fallen due to The Spoon, The Flame and The Spike. And I have good childhood friends that are locked up for being criminally insane. My best friend (who I may add is the CEO of a company half way to a billion a year) and I recently spoke about this. It’s the little decisions in life that make the difference between being lucky and becoming a casualty. Can ya dig it?
23. I first boxed at The Wildcard in Hollywood when I was a kid. Mickey Rourke days. Back then, I used to Base of Operations out of The Three Clubs and chill with that cat with was in that movie Laws of Gravity (great movie by the way). It is not lost on me that this probably reveals my identity. However, anyone that knows me from those days, already knows.
24. I try my hardest not to spend a dime with any big corporations; zero for Starbucks, zero for department stores, zero for big oil, zero for Big Banks, zero for big pharma, zero for…you get the broken picture. I treat big corporations like Pretty Tony once said, “You know, man, all bitches are the same, just like my ho’s. I keep ‘em broke–wake up one morning wit some money in their pockets, they subject to go crazy. I keep ‘em looking good, fly, and all that, but no dough. When I get a bitch, I got a bitch.”
25. I once swooped 32 girls in 30 days when I was a young pup in Los Angeles. Mostly Hollywood actress types. A got the flu pretty bad afterwards. Could have been the drugs. It’s kind of hard to track exactly.
27. I have been on the receiving end of a few “three on one” beatdowns. Not fun. And I got cracked over the head with a Louisville Slugger when street crews were clashing in High School. I had an out of body experience. I still have the spot where it deformed my skull. Sometimes I let girls touch it. They usually get grossed out.
28. I have been robbed at gunpoint two times. One time by knife point. Charge it to The Game.
29. I am not smart enough to make big time passive income. Not yet anyways. Working on it.
30. I have never seen a Walmart with my own eyes in my whole life. Although, I have been to Carrefour.
31. I have never had a meal at a PF Wangs, Olive Garden (Garbage), or TGI Fridays. And that includes the TGI Fridays in Riga, Latvia too.
34. I have been swooping girls since I was knee high to a kangaroo and although I have had ups and downs in the biz world I have been clocking dough and traveling since I was a kid.
35. I have been becoming more Spiritual with every passing day. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have said before, “My mind is the enigma filled with broken pictures. The spiritual International Playboy can see clearer now.” Like King David said, “I guess my life was pretty extraordinary. In the end, I suppose it all comes back to the whole karma thing. Who knows? If it’s half as real as the Hindus say…I may just get a second chance after all. I wonder, what lies ahead for me on the other side?”
36. I wanted to also say, “thanks” to all the fly females that fed me. Just in case they ever thought, “Did Michael forget me?”
The cat has taken some heat on the Internet for his work and has plenty of doubters and haters (not unlike your humble author).
This guy has mad talent and is meeting a monstrous need in today’s media landscape . And when I say “meeting a monstrous need”, I mean like a coke dealer meets a monstrous need of a Hollywood Hills Mansion after party with 20 fly girls and 4 guys in attendance at 2:30 am.
His work is basically a flame that burns within the soul of The Modern Day International Playboy: its a complex overture that delves into the psyche of the male mind; part dazzling fantasy, part demonic nightmare, part vibrant dream, part jagged reality and he mixes it and puts it in a pot like Gumbo.
Hell, he is bringing to fruition an idea I have had for many years in grand royal style that I lacked the aptitude for. My version would be a little more Drug ridden, Crime Ridden, Cigarette smoked out, Boozed out, more Street and with the machine gun sound of the speed bag and clicking of the money counter as the soundscape, but that is neither E-tab dreams nor triple beams.
(Sometimes I really do wish I was born with talent for the camera or video camera instead of talent for Smoking, Drinking, Swooping fly girls, and separating people from their money. But then again, you can’t have it all.)
He has a new video called New York Episode 1.5 – Fails, extras & pick-up tips, peep it below.
First off, anything that can hold my attention for 10 minutes is in and of itself, astonishing. But more than that, it is really entertaining. And I think young cats getting into “The Life” can learn a lot from it. Furthermore, he plays up the “player on a budget” angle, which we all know has mass appeal like Guru of Gangstarr (RIP) said.
This video is all about Pick Up Failures. Watching this reminds me of myself as a young prototype G on the rise on the beaches of Southern California.
I have said it before and I will say it again, no one, and I mean no one has gotten rejected by girls more than me.
In this video Andrew Lindy breaks down rejection. He has fun with it. Bottom line, you have to love rejection.
To the young cats reading this, it really does make you stronger. Hell, I get rejected still all the time, and guess what? It is the funniest thing to me. Especially since I know that any girl that rejects me is making the biggest mistake of her life.
Straight up, if you take yourself too seriously, and you can’t have fun when you are swooping fly girls, then The International Playboy Lifestyle is not for you.
So you are an up and coming G on the rise, and you have decided to take the plunge into the world of Custom Suits.
Do it slow.
As tempting as it is to go to your tailor and hand him $45,000 in a CASH in a brown paper bag for 10 Custom Suits, don’t do it (CASH discount).
Over time, you are going to like different things about suits, ie Ticket pocket VS No Ticket Pocket, Peaked Lapels VS Notched Lapels, Straight Pockets VS Hacking Pockets, Center Vent VS Side Vents, Pinstripe VS Chalkstripe, etc etc etc
There is no way you are going to know the answers to all of these important questions until you have play tested some suits. And I mean “in the field”. While Swooping Fly Girls.
And your body may change from all the sparring you are doing.
You want your Custom Suits to be as ill as a convict who kills for “phone time”.
So like I said, take it slow and go one Custom Suit at a time.
He’s survived bankruptcy, two marital breakdowns and a persistent habit of referring to himself in the third person: Ozwald Boateng remains a force to be reckoned with. The first black tailor on Savile Row and former creative director of Givenchy, Boateng this month releases A Man’s Story, his 12-years-in-the-making film of his remarkable career. “I’m not nervous about the film, I’m excited – it’s like the first time I sold a suit,” he explains to GQ.com, sitting in an elegant café in London’s Mayfair. “I was always the youngest one around. When I went to Paris for my first catwalk show I was always the kid. Now I’m 45 years old. I’ve got mileage in the tank.” Here he explains how men should wear colour, why Giorgio Armani still inspires him and why everyone should follow the sartorial example of ageing rockers…
Confidence can sometimes be misconstrued as arrogance.
Shirt collars are very important to me. Putting a very soft shirt collar with a formal suit doesn’t work for me at all.
The shoulder line is key on a bespoke suit. Once you have a strong understanding of that, the rest flows from there.
The idea of an ill-fitting suit is something I cannot register. If I register it once then it goes off and destroys! It starts interfering with the mainframe of my computer. It’s like dust in the lens – you grow accustomed to the dust and it starts building up.
Dressing well on a budget is about what we call “strategic shopping”. Spot what you like and then be first in the queue when the sale comes. Be patient enough to rummage through the rails. Sort your basics out and then save up for the key pieces. Make sure you always spend money on shoes though.
The most common style mistake men make? The guy who sits down with his buttons closed and doesn’t know he has to relax the jacket. I understand that the harness of the jacket creates [a particular] shape but there are some rules. Release the button.
If your suit is not handmade, get the other elements really right. Make sure your shirt is pressed and has that sharpness of line. It demonstrates that you pay attention to the way you look.
Style is about consistency and not having just one great day or one great photograph. Paul Bettany always looks good. He’s got a good presence about him. I haven’t seen him slouch and it’s easy to slouch.
‘A Man’s Story’ Preview – Ozwald Boateng documentary film
Casino – that movie really sang for me. It was beautifully shot and you could feel the colours jump off the screen. They must have been in my store when they did that film! The suits were immaculate and there was real attention to detail about the clothes – when [De Niro's] sitting down he doesn’t want to get his trousers creased. If you love what you wear, that’s what you do.
The rulebook says for black tie it should be a black suit with a satin lapel. But there are lots of things you can do to make it different. I like to play with the traditional themes – it doesn’t have to be black, so I’ve got my signature dark purple tux. It’s a bit boring that the women have all the opportunity and the guys don’t.
Life + TImes: There’s a very dangerous aspect to your clothing. Where does this come from?
Duncan Quinn: I suspect the edge lies in the underlying inspirations for everything I do…Michael Caine’s great and iconic movies from the 1960′s, Ian Fleming’s James Bond, The Who, The Clash, The Jam, The Rolling Stones and The Sex Pistols, but probably also having grown up with a father who hails from post-war Glasgow and was in the Flying Squad at Scotland Yard, as well as a guy in France who taught me about wine, food and life and who left home several days a week in the small hours with two loaded .45 automatics.
L+T: Who are your top three — living, dead or fictional — style icons?
DQ: Jack Carter: How could you not love the man who said, “You’re a big man, but you’re in bad shape. With me it’s a full time job. Now behave yourself.” He was hard as nails and dressed to kill. Literally. Steve McQueen: He was just a real man’s man. Cars, bikes, booze and cigarettes all wrapped up in clothing that fitted his aura so well it created an icon. Enzo Ferrari: He was probably responsible for the largest number of iconic and beautifully crafted motor vehicles since the creation of the internal combustion engine. His creations have already stood the test of time and are influential on anyone and everyone who loves beautiful feats of engineering today. Try putting a 250 GTO in a room and keeping people away from it.
L+T: If you could give one tip to the stylistically challenged, what would It be?
DQ: Find your style, which is that which you feel comfortable with, not someone else’s. Then turn the volume up a little on the things that make you “you,” whether it is yellow socks or bright green oversize glasses. Then you’ll have your own style. And no matter what you rock you’ll feel confident and thus look amazing.
L+T: Do you believe ZZ-Top was correct when they sang, “Every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man?”
DQ: Absolutely without a question of a doubt. Which is why we always joke that our suits come with a “get laid guarantee.” It has never failed.
A lot of people ask me questions about Custom Suits.
Well, before you buy one, watch this excellent video about Ozwald Boateng.
I typically make a stop by his Savile Row shop every summer in London. Cool cats they are.
Style is confidence.
Style is respect.
Style is personal.
Style is passion.
Style is seduction.
Style is sensual.
Style is creativity.
Style is individual.
Style is success.
Style is power.
Style is instinct.