The G Manifesto

The Making of an International Playboy

Life is good. Life is so good, I can feel an intense Euphoria when I exhale a lung full of Parliament Ultra Light smoke (and I don’t mean that Exotic Dancer from The Rhino in Las Vegas named Euphoria, real name Tricia, etiher). Well, let’s just say my life is way better than yours. Just this week I have slept with six different beautiful women (a diversified portfolio of 2 fly exotic dancers al mismo tiempo, a top tier Nightlife Princess, a Brazilian model girl from Elite, a Czech/ Canadian model from Toronto, and a rich daughter who’s dad is a West Coast titan of industry microchips and such, I think). I have been in three different dope cities, and dined at some of America’s best restaurants (Alinea in Chicago being a standout, Grant Achatz is a rising star on the Holyfield), most of it comped. Bartenders have refused to take my money. I have insisted. I haven’t gotten out of bed (and I don’t mean Club B.E.D in Miami Beach either) before 10am every morning and that is only to kick out the girl or girls from the night before (kick outs are always done respectfully of course). I had a money counting session with some Koi Fish Japanese guys I know, that let’s just say required a money counter. And I have done it all while puffing on cigarettes and swathed in custom made Italian fabrics so my style points have been off the charts. I even started to floss every day. By the way, how was your week? But it always wasn’t like this. There are many moves and lessons I have picked up along the way, many during childhood. Here are some of them:

Get a Good Running Partner

Back in elementary school, first grade, I met one of my best friends who became very instrumental in my becoming an International Playboy. The first day of school we had a new kid come to class, let’s call him “Jason”. We were all sitting on a rug listening to the teacher try and teach us stuff about reading or animals or some crap. Now, for some reason or another, my inner city elementary school had a pretty bad cockroach problem. Not sure why, our school just had mad amounts of these critters scurrying across the floor. So, anyway, when the teacher was trying to go over our lessons, Jason starts picking up the cockroaches and throwing them at all the little girls in our class. You could imagine that the shrieking coming from the girls was absolutely deafening. Personally, I was laughing my head off. The teacher was screaming at Jason to stop it, and screaming at me for laughing. Once the teacher settled everyone down, Jason would grab another cockroach and throw it at the girls. I could tell he had zero respect for authority and plenty of heart. He was soon sent out of class to sit in the hall. I also noticed that the girls actually kind of liked him. I was really too young to care, but I did etch it in my young skull that maybe being a “nice guy” wasn’t the best way to get girls.

Later during recess, I saw Jason playing on the monkey bars and I could see he had mad skills. Backflips off the monkey bars and such. I approached him. I think I said something like, “I know your new here and don’t have any friends. I really love your material. That whole cockroach thing was genius. You and I need to team up. I think we can do well together”. He agreed. He became my first “Running Partner”. See, I was a great idea man, and I needed someone with heart to help carry out my schemes. Jason was it. We pulled off a lot of great heists together, and later in life, Jason’s climbing ability, utter disrespect for authority, and fearlessness made him a great Second Story Man.

LL Cool J, I’m Bad

Bullies and Peoples Champs

Around this same time, we had a school Bully we will call “Billy”. Way bigger than the rest of us, Billy was as mean as he was tough. He generally steered clear of me and my Syndicate that I had developed in first grade. He mostly picked on the weaker kids. Even as a little kid, I have fancied myself as a “People’s Champion” and a protector of the weak and oppressed (that is why even today I give a lot of my “earnings” back to the poor and help bankroll liberal politicians). One day, Billy went after one of the kids in my outfit and gave him a pretty good beating. I had fought Billy before with minimal success, although I was quicker, and had mad hand speed like a young Sugar Ray (and I don’t mean that Crappy band from Newport Beach either), he was just too big. So, later, my crew and I came up with a scheme. We would “do it for Johnny”. Four of us came after Billy. I stepped up first and I started dropping Bees on his face. Pretty soon he was leaking some red stuff that looked like the Cabernet my MOM used to drink every night while she cooked Tortilla Espanola and Paella. Billy then grabbed me and I got him in a head lock. I was done for except for my friend who we will call “Charlie” (who was half Irish, half African American, the fastest of us and later in life a great getaway driver and Playboy in his own right), Picked up a huge rock and dropped it on Billy’s ankle. It had to hurt. Billy even cried for the first time. Other kids were in celebration. Our crew was tops. Girls congratulated and sweated us. Billy continued his Bullying ways but not on us. In fact, Billy and I kind of became friends. I used him for certain “muscle” jobs later on.

Palmer Park’s own, Sugar Ray Leonard, the 2nd Sugar Ray (the first being Sugar Ray Robinson)

Style and Smoking

When I was in I think in third grade, my family and I went on a trip to Northern Ireland. Most families go to tropical places on vacation, Bahamas, Bermuda, Hawaii and the like. My family went to war-torn Belfast. I guess that’s the price you pay when your father is a Heist man/Revolutionary/Playboy (that is until he met my MOM, and the Playboy stuff was over). I remember my dad took me to meet some of my relatives, IRA all of them. My uncle who dressed in the Irish IRA height of fashion for those days; black leather jacket, black slacks, and Irish flat cap, was sitting on the back of truck. Then I saw him take a “strike-anywhere” match, strike it on the bumper of the truck and light his cigarette. I was awe-struck. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen done in my young life (probably even cooler than Jason’s cockroach thing). Puro Cool. Un-cut Raw like the Toro at Nobu London. I also noticed that two fly girls, Irish Lasses, one red head with freckles the other brunette, looked over at him and giggled. He subtly ignored them. There were so many things I learned that day. Not the least is I realized I liked girls with freckles. Most important I learned how to have true style and that if you want true style you are going to have to smoke. No other way around it.

Rumble Fish, Rusty James VS Biff Wilcox

CASH and Making it

When we hit the fourth grade, I wanted to start making some dough like a bakery. I remember at the time that Bubble Yum and Bubblicious, the gum companies, were in a marketing war. All the kids wanted the stuff. There was a high demand. I decided I was going to be the supply. My crew and I would skip school or go after school to our local deli and buy packs of gum (5 pieces per pack). We would also find money returnable Coke bottles to help finance our operation (so I guess you could say we were budding environmentalists along with prototype G’s). Let’s say the gum cost 25 cents per pack. We would then sell the gum for ten cents apiece. We were doubling our money and soon had a Bankroll. We used Billy for protection and collections. We also learned not to “get high on our own supply” and chew up all our profits. My friend Jason also had an idea that if we stole the gum we would be making all profit. This worked great until we got caught. We learned never to screw over our supplier. I also learned that its good business to buy something in bulk and to sell off the pieces (is it any wonder I would later get involved in the pharmaceutical trade?). Most importantly, I learned that if you had something “illegal” and had CASH, girls were drawn to you. In my case, it was a girl named “Claudia”, the daughter of an Argentinian Diplomat. She was beautiful, rich, classy, had great style and crazy fly. And she was down with me. If I think about it, my life with women has really gone all downhill from this point. Of course, I didn’t swoop her, I still had no Game nor interest in girls at this age. But I did notice that showing no interest made Claudia want me more. I did make a mental note of all this, but I will admit, I blew it. I did see Claudia in some International cosmetic ads years later on, she didn’t have to model, she just did. I think she is back in Argentina now and goes to Punta del Este often. C’est la vie.

The Intruders, Cowboys to girls

The Warriors, The Warriors VS The Punks

Heists

Around this time, Jason, “Tommy” and I wanted to make a big splash and cement our status as the number one top prototype baby G’s on the set. (My friend Tommy was Japanese, knew Karate, and I was to learn later the son of a Japanese political figure/ Yakuza heavy weight…I went to a pretty Urbane, Cosmopolitan, International School). We knew we needed something big. I had the Plan. Let me explain… At our school, we would go to recess, then after recess, we would all rush into school and go to lunch. All the kids would put their lunchboxes in a row in the hall, when the bell rang for lunch the kids would enter thru double doors, freaking out, grab their lunch boxes and run to the lunch room. It was pretty chaotic. What we did during recess was each ask a different teacher if we could go to the bathroom. We all met up in the hallway and one by one we unlatched all of the lunchboxes. Then we returned to recess. Once the bell rang, all the kids spazzing out, ran thru the double doors and proceeded to grab their lunch boxes while running to the lunch room. Only this time all the lunch boxes were flying open with food flying everywhere. Italian kids had Cannelloni, Caponata di Carciofi, and canolis flying everywhere. Irish kids had Corned Beef and Cabbage flying everywhere. Cuban kids had Cuban sandwiches and Ropa Vieja flying everywhere. Jewish kids had Matzo Ball Soup and Potato Latkes flying everywhere. Colombian kids had Ajiaco and Bandeja Paisa flying everywhere. Thai kids had Pad Thai flying everywhere. Ethopian kids had Injera Bread flying everywhere. Korean kids had Kim Chee flying everywhere (I told you I went to a very International school). Everyone was slipping and sliding everywhere. It was so beautiful. It was hilarious and we kept our mouths shut and were never fingered for the “heist”. We also realized we didn’t make any CASH from this. But we did realize that proper planning, working with a good crew, proper execution and keeping our mouths shut was paramount to any crime. The Rest is Up to You…

Common, The People

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Voodoo Child
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

The Outsiders, wack song, Dope Rumble, Greasers vs Socs

The Warriors, The Warriors VS The Baseball Furies

Hotel Review: Wynn Las Vegas , Las Vegas

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Click Here 007 Lifestyle – Living Like James Bond!

I have been a huge advocate of The Wynn Las Vegas even before I went to the grand opening in 2005. I have had a sizeable position in the stock since back in 2003 (when it was trading at about $13.00 on the New York Stock Exchange, today it sits in the mid eighties). So I figured to protect my investment I might as well drop some scratch in the place.

Wynn was basically Steve Wynn’s opportunity to build his dream hotel. Sure I would have done it a little different, but all in all he did a great job for the $2.7 Billion he spent on it (2,716 rooms so roughly a stick a room). Many times I have used the Wynn as my Base of Operations in Las Vegas , and I must say it never disappoints. High-end cuisine, plenty of dope/functional bars, decently dope cocktail waitresses, beautiful architecture, some marvels of modern construction, great customer service, and high priced enough to generally speaking keep out the low end riff raff. Most importantly, it is a great place to swoop girls back to and check and see if the shower can fit two comfortably (to save water, for environmental reasons of course)

Nas, Street Dreams

Atmosphere:

As you enter the Wynn you are greeted by a wonderland of flowers, mosaics, and colorful, beautiful tile work. Kind of like an Absinthe buzz mixed with Poppy Seeds, I would imagine (and I don’t mean that Exotic Dancer I know from Seemless named Imagine, real name Cindy either). Steve Wynn, always the innovator, made the focus of the hotel seen from the inside versus the old-school way of making the focus the outside of the hotel. Light also can be seen in the casino giving it a fresh feel. The “Lake of Dreams” is worth checking out preferably from the terrace at Daniel Boulud Brasserie with a bottle of red, a pack of smokes, a Charcuterie board (which is really just like a regular Charcuterie board just a lot more exquisite), an Original NY DB Burger with black truffles and foie gras, Braised short ribs (braised for 5 to 6 hours) a pack of well behaved fly girls that have never been.

AZ featuring Nas, How Ya Livin

Rooms:

I always stay in the multi-room suites. I can tell you first hand that they are worth how ever many C-notes they are peddling them for. The views of Las Vegas are always worth a few moments with a cancer stick in hand and terry cloth robe on while you are warming up for the evening. Even the smaller rooms (which I have gotten a few times when I was doing a “Double Room” move) are plenty spacious. The TV’s are flat screen although I don’t care if my TV’s are flat screened or not. I don’t even like TV unless it’s The Nature Channel, I prefer shows on Predators. The towels in the bathroom aren’t as nice as the ones at my crib but are still very nice. The textured wallpaper and marble sinks are also noteworthy. The Showers are great and I have done a pretty extensive unofficial case study and have discovered that up to three Fly girls and one G (your humble author) can fit in the shower and still emerge very crispy and clean. Complementary products are decent.

Competition:

Softer than Armani leathers. As with anywhere more or less in Las Vegas the competition you get from regular guy is pretty flimsy. Sure you have older guys with major cheese looking to leverage their position, but very few of them have any legitimate Game. As the for the younger guys, its mostly spazzed out California Guys with Shiny Shirts, Striped Shirts, t-shirts with some stupid design on it, or what ever the Shirt De Jour is for the regular guy set. Usually the only people I run into with Deadly, Devilish, Bloody Game are G’s I already know from The G Manifesto Tour. By the way, I have an Angel’s face, but Devilish Game. I actually saw a guy waiting in line to get into Tryst with long blond hair, a shinny shirt, designer jeans, and a Cowboy Hat! Yeah you read that correctly, a Cowboy Hat. I guess he was going for some queer Suburban, Orange County , Surfer, Cowboy fusion look. And I am pretty certain the guy was straight! (You can guess at this point I was completely over Tryst and had no interest in going in). Best to avoid the Nightclubs in Las Vegas in general. I really wish Wynn would raise its prices across the board to keep guys like that Surf-Cowboy out. It was really disturbing for me. Or at least have a stricter door policy at the Casino entrance.

Az featuring Nas, Mo Money Mo Murder

Features:

The restaurants, and of course the rooms are really the draw at Wynn. I guess there is some top-less pool at Wynn as well, but I have never been (I know enough Gentleman’s Clubs in Las Vegas that have topless girls already, and at any given time, my room usually has girls full nude. Plus, by going to the Gentleman’s Clubs, you can avoid those harmful UV rays, which can make you look older.) My favorite spots to chill, swoop girls and throw some food down are Bartolotta Ristorante di Mare, the aforementioned Daniel Boulud Brasserie (great bar) and Alessandro Stratta’s joint, Alex. I have eaten a few times at Alex and I really am hard pressed to think of a better meal I have had. Well, in the case against Alex, I did have great company each time. Alex also does have a secret spot in it that might be the most Tranquillo place in all of Las Vegas . And that’s all I am going to say about it in a effort to keep it Tranquillo.

The G Manifesto Move:

Get rooms on the lower floors. Insist on it. The reason? There are way more floors in Wynn than it seems for the outside (an architectural trick) and you can get caught in the elevators for unreasonable amounts of time. Even though it’s a long night in Vegas, time is always of the essence. The last thing you want to be doing when your trying to meet a girl at the Parasol Down bar before she heads to work is to be caught in a elevator with some Couple from Dallas and four “party guys” from Scottsdale and the elevator stopping on every floor with more uninteresting people. Also, kids often times hit all the buttons and you can get speed bumped on your way up to your room with a few Fly Rhino Girls. Speaking of Parasol Down, you want to lock it down as well as Parasol Up. These are the two most functional bars for swooping girls and for “meeting points” than any place at Wynn. I utilize the Parasol Down Bar early in the night, and the Parasol Up Bar later in the night and early morning. I have had so much success in both these bars, that when ever I walk up to them I can’t help but smile. The Rest is Up to You…

Email of the week in regards to: The Greatest Athletes in the World Share one thing in common: Smoking

G,
Just FYI, the greatest cyclist in the history of the sport, Eddy Merckx, smoked then (1960s) and still smokes to this day. The guy was a monster on the road, won 5 Tours de France, the world championships, the hour record, too many classics to name, and always came off like a true G. Look him up, you’ll see.
Cheers,
SL

and

Hard hitting info from the most credible underground source known across the US . I know you have run with a few athletes in your day and have defeated plenty along the way, and I remember seeing you put out your Monte Cristo on Derek Jeter’s forehead like it was an ash tray in Vegas years back and instantly became a big fan. I also witnessed you KO all pro NFL linebacker Shawne Merriman with a right cross in a plush LA nightclub over a nightlife princess, but you fail to mention the power and popularity of the hemp cigarette in this weeks manifesto. Many famous athletes toke the tangi and poke the lettuce wrapped swisher sweets. In fact last night I pulled 4 bong loads, took 3 vaporizer rips, and toasted 2 J’s all while sipping on Krug and having weird sex with 2 Asian supermodels imported freshly off the runway from a high end Tokyo fashion show. Mingas wasn’t happy when I dropped my roach clip in her hair during a doggie session but that’s not my problem now is it Mason?

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Sosa
AKA El Campeador
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

AZ, Hey AZ

Picasso, Le Reve

AZ, The Come up (COOKIN SOUL REMIX)…Swagger Defined

The Greatest Athletes in the World Share one thing in common: Smoking

I was recently chilling at Gary Danko in San Francisco with one of my old school crew members, who we will call “Hugo” AKA The Viper, enjoying the excellent food (the Quail Stuffed with Porcini Mushrooms, Cipollini Onions, Foie Gras with Artichoke Puree and Chickpea Galette is really can’t miss) and wine (Joesph Phelps Insignia from Napa Valley) Danko’s is know internationally for. We were both suited down (I was in a flash two button Navy blue Paul Smith from Italy, ice cold blue Gucci shirt, Gucci lace ups, Hugo was Armanied Down in total, but his shirt might have been Canali, I am not 100% certain, I probably looked more fresh than him overall, but he did have a insanely sick black and grey Armani tie on) and tooled up (I had a S & W .38 snub nose Hugo almost always has a Glock 17, I don’t really like them because of the jamming factor). Every Sophisto Girl in the spot in Danko’s was sweating us (actually a couple of girls walked up and said, “HI” to HIM, but in my defense I don’t think they really got a good look at me), but we hadn’t seen each other in a while and we needed to update each other on Schemes, Maneuvers, and Breaking News on the Playboy Circuit in general. Plus it was early in the night, and San Francisco is tailor made territory for clean KO’s if you follow The G Manifesto.

Hugo told me about making a killing on betting on Angel Cabrera in the U.S. Open Golf tournament. I don’t follow golf at all, in fact I don’t really follow really any sports. I don’t care about football, baseball or basketball. I know Boxing, Martial Arts, and Horse Racing. But my friend did get my attention when he told me Angel Cabrera beat Tiger Woods while smoking a cigarette the whole way. Now that’s G. After dinner we met up with Hugo’s uncle who’s occupation is a “Sportsman” (he was also a well respected Playboy and earlier generation G, or so the docket reads on him) and he gave us a lot of insight on historically great athletes. We came to the conclusion that in EVERY sport, the top Athletes have always been smokers.

Click here for Irish Thunder: The Hard Life and Times of Micky Ward

MICKEY WARD VS ARTURO GATTI

Click Here for 45 Fantastic Fights Of The Century

Basketball:

Michael Jordan is widely considered the greatest basketball player of all time. Personally, I have always preferred Latrell Sprewell, Allen Iverson, Victor “Sky” Page, Jason Williams, God Shamgod, Earl “The Goat” Manigault and Pee Wee Kirkland. But that’s neither here nor there. How did Jordan enjoy winning multiple NBA Championships? With a Cigar (Cuban Montecristo No. 2). Interestingly enough, I often celebrate swooping models and winning different legs of The International Playboy Tour with cigars as well.

Red Auerbach also enjoyed the spoils of victory by lighting up a Hoyo de Monterrey in the closing minutes of Boston Celtic victories on the bench. Pretty smooth any way you slice and dice it.

Kurtis Blow, Basketball

Football:

I don’t really know all that much about Joe Namath, although word on the street is he won the Super Bowl and was somewhat of a Playboy in his day. I actually did see some pictures of him in a pretty smooth fur coat, which I am sure was the height of fashion in those days. The docket on him was he was a big social cigarette smoker.

Paul “Bear” Bryant smoked a Chesterfield under the goalpost before each game. Hugo’s uncle told me some other stuff about him but I can’t remember.

Az, The Format, One of the most underated MC’s of all time


Hockey:

Wayne Gretzky is probably the only hockey player I can name. Loves cigars, word on the street is Macanudo is his brand of choice.

Soccer:

Diego Maradonna was probably the greatest soccer player ever. Just ask anyone in Argentina . He also liked to live the good life. Loved cigars and cigarettes among other things. Top notch playboy as well.

Marcello Lippi (Italy ’s coach) celebrated winning the 2006 FIFA World Cup (only the biggest sporting event in the world) The G Way ….with a cigar on the field.

Click here for Irish Thunder: The Hard Life and Times of Micky Ward

MICKEY WARD VS ARTURO GATTI

Click Here for 45 Fantastic Fights Of The Century

Mobb Deep Burn


Bowling:

Who knows? Who cares? But I am sure whoever is the best at bowling, smokes. (Bowling alleys are not really G Manifesto Turf.)

Baseball:

Pete Rose, great baseball player and gambler. Cigarette and cigar smoker. I still really don’t understand what he did wrong to keep him out of the Hall of Fame.

Babe Ruth was the greatest slugger of all time. He was also smart enough to focus on the important things in life off the baseball diamond: good food, good drinks, beautiful women, and of course Cigars.

Sammy Sosa. Obviously prefers strong Dominican Cigars.

Joe Dimaggio. Baseball player, but most importantly, a first rate Playboy always with cigarette in hand.

Tennis:

John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors, G Manifesto Certified tennis players. Both Irish, both Playboys. They had to have smoked.

Andre Agassi chokes down premium cigars. I have seen him puffing them in Las Vegas .

Anna Kournakova, of course she is a cigarette smoker (have you ever really met a truly sexy girl that wasn’t a cigarette smoker? Seriously ask yourself that question). Sure, she never won a major tournament but it hard to argue that she is not the greatest female tennis player of all time.

Boxing:

Sylvester Stallone. Sure, he wasn’t a real boxer but he played a great movie one. And I mean all five Rocky movies (I haven’t seen the sixth). Cigars and cigarettes.

Also too many to mention. Mickey Walker, Mickey Ward, Rocky Graziano, Rock Marciano, Arturo Gatti, Harry Greb and Jack Lamotta come to mind immediately.

Ali VS SMOKING Joe Frazier- The Thrilla in Manilla

Any questions? No? Then I rest my case. The Rest is Up to You……….

Side Note:

The attack on smoking has reached ridiculous proportions. Even in Las Vegas you cannot smoke in restaurants now. Joe Dimaggio would never be able to completely enjoy a dinner with Marilyn Monroe in today’s world. Very sad. Smoking is illegal outdoors in Parks and Beaches now in California . So this is illegal:

Are you kidding me? That is illegal in California (Cantifornia).

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Sosa
AKA El Campeador
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

Juelz Santana- Days Of Our Lives (Official Video)

Why you shouldn’t Valet Park your Car

This week we are going to address an email that was sent to The G Manifesto:

“I wanted to let you know that I love the G Manifesto and all your advice. I dont mean to disrespect you but it seems like all your advice is for people that have a lot of money. I want to get girls and be a G. I am young (19) and want to be like you so if you if you could tell me how to make some cash that would help. Thanks. John.”

Alright John. First of all, you can never be me. Second, Stay in School, study hard, take a corporate job, marry an ex-sorority girl that can’t cook and move to the suburbs. Do you really want the life of The G? Do you really want sleeping with beautiful women to seem mundane because it happens so frequent like flight mileage? (Actually, sleeping with beautiful women never gets mundane) But, do you really want to dodge bullets, deal with hit squads, experience betrayal, have friends sellout, avoid snitches, Cops, date models, Exotic Dancers, high-society blue blood girls, have mad cash flow, travel to beautiful locales, get treated like a king in nightclubs, Sushi Chefs giving you the best cuts of Toro, and have a wardrobe and gun collection that’s equivalent to most “successful” peoples net worth? Maybe you do. Either way I am not going to give you any advice, but I will tell a little story of what I did when I was younger and you can take from it what you will. Fair Enough?

When you are a typical 19 years old guy you don’t have many options for work or girls. No one is really going to hire you for 150k a year to come to the office every day. And no self respecting girl over 22 years old is going to date you. You need CASH or you are basically fu**ed. Here is what I did:

When I was young I got a Valet job at one of the hottest nightclubs in Hollywood. You know, Celebs, Actors, Actresses, Fly Girls, Playboys, Working class stiffs who wanted to be a part of it all etc. A perfect spot for a young up and coming Prototype G. So pay attention John, here is your Blue Print for Money Making:

Take over the Valet Stand

This very important. There will usually be some sort of hierarchy established already at most Valet Stands. You stage a Takeover like Jay-Z (just make sure you don’t get Ethered). You need to get rid of the top guy by any means necessary. Get the top guy fired if you need to. This is what I did: My Running Partner at time and I were hired the same day. I then proceded to tell the top guy who we will call “Shane” that we were taking over. Shane then told me to “f*** off”. So I dropped punches on him from all angles on him like Chuck “The Iceman” Lidell and finished him with my Signature, Six Punch Combo (Jab, Jab, Straight Right, Left hook to the body, Left hook to the head, Right hook to the head…gets them every time). In his defense, he was from somewhere like Irvine, California and I am from, well, The Streets so it wasn’t like we were in the same “weight class”. Plus, I think he was a Mormon or something (no offense to Mormons, but when was the last time you saw a Mormon on HBO PPV holding a belt above his head?). Now that we took over, my Running Partner and I were in charge of all the scheduling and we gave ourselves all the best shifts so we could Cake UP. Give the other guys the Sunday brunch shift where the walk with $45. Keep the Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat nights for you are your crew where you can split with 3 bills each.

Establish an Inner Circle

You need to create an Inner Circle of Valet guys who count, control and distribute the money. This way, you don’t have to split the cash evenly between all the workers. Lets say for instance there are 5 guys working on the night and $800 in tips to split up. Say three of you are in the “Inner Circle” and two are not. Give $200 in tips to each Inner Circle member and $100 to each guy outside the circle. Just that easy, you are making twice as much money as the next guy!

Learn Cars and who tips well

If you see a 60 year old cat roll up in a Sick Vintage GTO, let him know you will take care of him and give him a spot upfront. He might flip you a fifty. A 22 year old girl in a two door stick shift metallic purple Toyota Tercel is going to kick you a buck…..at best. Be wary of famous people. I parked Robin Leach’s ride(that jackass from “Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous” of all things) and he gave me $2! I wanted to grab the Louisville Slugger we kept at the Valet stand and destroy his ride, but my Running Partner stopped me. Who knows about how these young Hollywood actors tip today? My guess is they are cheap f***s. But then again, these days, it’s more likely that Ashton Kootchar chump would park my car than me parking his. (By the way, what is up with “young Hollywood” these days? What a collection of Fools. Every time I am partying in LA I can’t help but think how paper thin these guys are. I mean, come on, ripped jeans, dog tags, trucker hats, t-shirts ALWAYS with some gay design or writing on it, rings and bracelets? Weak. Not like I really care or give it much thought, but when someone finally wants to make a movie of my life, not one of these guys could play me on the big screen. Where are the DeNiro’s, Pacino’s, and Steven Bauer’s these days?)

Pretend like the Valet is full

This is a great hustle. Especially if you see some cat roll up fronting in a BMW with his girl. Tell him the lot is full but maybe you could make an exception if he takes care of you. He won’t want to seem like he is the cheap jerk like he really is in front of his chick. Good for a 20 plus every time. Make sure you exchange phone numbers with his girl when he is not looking. Guys like that just ask to get “knocked”.

Borrow the Fly Rides

One of the guys I worked with always took the NSX’s, Ferraris, and Porches for rides around town after the people entered the club. I personally liked the vintage Muscle Cars, Cadillacs and occasionally the Lincoln’s with Suicide Doors (and I don’t mean Suits VS SuicideGirls either). I would cruise the cars to say hello to girls I was trying to swoop on so they could see me in different fly rides all the time. This doesn’t really help you make Scratch, but it does help you Pick up Girls.

Crash Cars

We used to crash and dent cars all the time. When you return them to the people leaving the club, just make sure the person drives off the lot. Once they drive off the property you are no longer liable. Know where to pull the car up that is not well lit so the person can’t see the scratch all the way down his Lamborghini Countach. You don’t want to pay for all the damage you caused out of your own pocket, trust me.

The Skim

Every Valet lot has some system with tickets or what ever to track how many cars are parked every night. This is to determine how much money goes to the Club or the Valet Company. What ever the system is find a way to make it seem like you are parking less cars. Re-use tickets, make phony tickets, etc. You are the one doing all the work and you should make the Lionshare. Skim.

Swipe Pocket Change

Every car you park has at least a dollar in change in the ashtray. No one is going to miss it. Lets say you park 180 cars during a six hour shift, make sure you take a dollar in change out of every car. Who cares if the change is jingling in your pocket all night as you run around parking cars, you just increased your hourly pay rate by $30 an hour!

Swipe Drugs

If you are working at the right Nightclub/ Restaurant, plenty of Cars will have drugs in them. If a Mortgage Broker Type Guy pulls up in a Jaguar (actually, make that a two door weak BMW), “decent” girl in tow and they both have white rings around their nostrils, you better inspect the ride. When you park the ride, rifle thru the glove compartment, under the seat, and the center console. You will score. And it’s not like the guy is going to start yelling “Who took my Coke?!!!” when he realizes it’s gone. But know where the limits are. For instance, if an Asian Guy in a SharkSkin Issey Miyake Suit that looks like Brandon Lee, koi fish tattoos creeping up his neck, rolls up strapped in some Crazy Japanese Sports car with a super hot Asian Girl, “Blak Drgn” on his license plate, and you search his ride and find 20 kilos of heroin, you might not want to take it. Its up to you.

Deal Drugs

You have a perfect built in, ready made, supreme clientele (and I don’t mean that dope Ghostface album either). Other Valets, Club cocktail Waitresses, bartenders, Chefs, sous chefs, promoter guys, and bouncers all want drugs. Plus, a lot of the drugs you are getting are free. If you are working at the right spot, you should get solicited about 30 times a night for drugs by customers. I swooped some well known Actors girlfriends in those days because I was flipping, and the Actor guy thanked me for hooking them up after our transaction! Make sure you have it all; grass, beans, beeks, etc.. Start bankrolling other Valets. Who cares if you get fired? It is just a Valet job! Just make sure you save a little for a good Criminal Defense Attorney. (I am not certain, but I think the government doesn’t agree with some of this stuff…check your local laws). Who would have thought you could make $124,800 a year parking cars?! Tax free. Not bad for a 19 year old.

Lessons to be Learned for People who want to Valet their cars:

1. Never Valet your car

2. If you Really have to Valet your car, Never leave anything in it of value i.e. Guns, CASH, Drugs, uncut Emeralds, etc…

3. Always check your car before pulling away. (Unless you stole the car in the first place, which is the only circumstance that I will Valet)

4. Never Valet your car….

Keep in mind, there are a hundreds of us just like me, who cuss like me, dress sharp like me, walk, talk, act like me, might be the next best thing, but not quite me. The Rest is Up to You………………

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA The Yeti
AKA Snow Man
The BluePrint for Money Making
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Off The Books….Beatnuts, Big Pun (Rip), Cuban Link……

The Club at Home and Amsterdam Naps

The Club at Home

We already know that The Nightclub, The Gentleman’s Club, The Lobby Bar, The Fights, The Race Track, Top-Notch Resturants, and High-End Gigs are where The G is most at home. But every now and then I switch up speeds like Bruce Lee riding a Fuji in a movie. Enter The Club at Home. The Club at Home is exactly that; having a Nightclub type experience at home. The best way to do it is Control the Guest list. When I do the Club at Home is I am the only guy invited. As far as girls, you are best if you go with a Regining Nightlife Princess, a few Fly Go-Go Dancers from a NightClub, or a mixed bag of Exotic Dancers. Better yet, it’s better to have The Club at Home at her crib than yours. Less mess to clean up.

Taking a page out of all the Asian-Themed clubs that are ridiculously overdone these days, get an order of Sushi on the books delivered over. Make sure to get plenty of Sake too. The Milky cold stuff is kind reminds me of the Korova Milk Bar. Moloko Plus. I can hear Vivaldi in the background. Dressed in the Height of Fashion. The Clear cold stuff is good to. The hot stuff is for rookies. All the Japanese Execs drink the cold sake. At the Atlantis in the Bahamas, I was chillin with a couple of cats from the Yamaguchi-gumi and they told me the same thing. Who am I to argue. Make sure you get Plenty of Sashimi also (It’s no secret that Nightlife Princesses love sashimi). I usually get plenty of Hamachi, Hamo, Inada, Uni, Maguro, and Toro. It’s wise to double up on the Toro. Get some rolls and maybe some Soft-Shell Crab Handrolls too. Monk-Fish liver (don’t tell her what it is) and Orange Clam for style points. Have it delivered. (You really need to have a Sushi Joint that delivers Top-Notch Sushi in your bag of tricks. If you don’t have a place that will deliver you sushi, you really need to give your self a reality check and start stepping it up.) Make sure you Grease the Delivery driver, that way he won’t mind making deliveries outside his normal area or after hours and he will keep you laced with the best cuts of Fresh Fish.

Make sure you have plenty of booze as well. The last thing you want to do is have to leave the crib to have to get more Goose or Champagne Mid-Club at Home. If the girl wants Beans or Beeks, I suggest not holding her back. But the decision is up to you. I have done an extensive unofficial Case Study and I have found that there is an inverse relationship between intoxication and girls clothes disappearing (keep in mind, I am not fully convinced on the data thus far and this study may turn into my life’s work). But hey, be my guest if you want to re-invent the wheel. Just make sure that the delivery guy doesn’t “make himself at home”. Side note: make sure the girl/ girls don’t get any bright ideas of inviting any guys over. More girls good. More guys bad. It’s really as simple as that. Don’t rule out turning off the girl’s cell phone or spilling a full glass of Chateau Leoville Barton St-Julien 2003 on it to render it not functioning (Armand de Brignac works well also).

One of the best parts about the Club at home is you can DJ the gig. So many clubs these days spin such wack records. And the DJ’s don’t count beats. I am not a professional DJ, but I can operate the One’s and Two’s. But Word Life, I can serve 90% of the DJ’s out there today. Most of the DJ’s today don’t know their history and haven’t done their homework. Like Mike D once said, “A lot of people claim to be Funky, but they are not students of the Funk”. Personally, I have a PHD in the Funk.

Once you have the pieces in place, spark up a smoke, kick up your Gucci Loafers and enjoy the entertainment.

The Amsterdam Nap

I invented Amsterdam Naps in Amsterdam back in 1994. They have been an important part of my Arsenal ever since. This was back when Raves were King and Beans could be had for two bucks each if not free (I had mad damage connects in those days). This was also during the music wars between Amsterdam and Rotterdam to see who could make there music faster. Girls had mad pony tails and pigtails, like Pippi-Longstockings. I think its cause of this period of my life that I pigtail a lot of my girls today, Pippi-Longstocking them. After a successful title shot Runner that some of my local Dutch G friends (one of whom was Top-Ranked Psycho-Killer/ Playboy) took me on, I needed to recharge my batteries. I slept for like 72 hours straight. No joke. Very different from the Vampire Nap (which is like for 5 to 20 minutes) but no less functional. Today, any nap over 24 hours qualifies as an Amsterdam Nap. Make sure you use a Tempra-pedic pillow or Tempra-pedic bed and some high thread count Egyptian Cottons. Turn the alarm clock off. The Rest is Up to You……..

Side Note:

Right now one of the most interesting Beefs in Hip-Hop is going on Between Jay-Z and the Dip-Set. The craziest part is that it seems Jim Jones is winning the battle. Now he has dragged in Nas as well (By the way the Nas track “Hip Hop is Dead” is off the rails). He is obviously in very deep water, going against two of the best lyricists in the Game, (and I not sure Jim Jones even raps that well) but the lesson to be learned is sometimes you have to take shots at the Main Guns. Jay might end up burying Jim Jones, but you have to love the underdog that has the guts to make a move (Jay does have some very futuristic word play on his new album that very few can touch, “I heard muthafuckers sayin’ they made Hov…,
Made Hov say ‘OK, so, make another Hov’…”). “Mami always told me to aim for the stars/ and now I’m beefing and I’m aiming at stars/ I pack heat like it came with the car, you catch em in the streets I’m a lay him like a broad/ Told Juan tell your old ass to chill/ Better slow down before your old ass get killed.” –Jim Jones

Side Note II:

Thinking about Amsterdam reminded me of a little story. My friend lets call him “Laurens” who I mentioned above was a Local Amsterdam G who I met when Game recognized Game…player recognition. He was at the time making a move in the Bean Trade, but some older Guys, real hoods, killers even, were the Top Kiddies. Laurens, who was along with being a funny guy and could Spit the Gift, was a first rate Sociopath. His ambitiousness was not looked upon too favorably by the older more established firm and when I was rolling mobb deep (and I am not talking about Rolling Deep that fresh London Grime Group either) with him the situation was a sneeze away from a full-on warfare. But amazingly, as the war heated up, “Accidents” befell both of the Main Guns of the other Firm. One committed suicide (and I don’t mean Suits VS SuicideGirls) fell asleep in his garage with his car running, death by affixation/Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. The other fell down an open elevator shaft in The Red Light District. After that he was the Top Bean Flipper. Just goes to show when you aim for the Stars.

Side note III:

Back in March in The Smoking Gun I gave a free investment tip: “Go long oil, long gambling, and long cigarette smuggling.” Exxon (XOM)was trading around 59 dollars then last week it was 75. Wynn (WYNN) was around 64 dollars last week it was almost 95. Obviously Cigarette smuggling has been profitable. I hope you took my advice. And yes, I do except thank you cards.

Email of the week in regards to Impeccable Technique: Vegas Beyond Undefeated:

“I never stopped believing in the G, you motor boat riding son of a bitch. Since I am a full fledged G now, I can appreciate the work of another fellow G. The “Vegas Guy” has defeated me in the past, I cannot not lie, but not anymore. I am quick to throw bows and draw my Nickel Plated these days like any other G, but I don’t find it necessary since I shit roses, piss Cristal and can talk Rosie O’Donnell out of finishing the last piece of cheesecake. I enjoyed last weekend at the Wynn when I swooped on pumpkin head Derek Jeter’s bitch, he looked at me, I flashed my silver and said “stick to your little wooden stick skippy”, I proceeded to take her to my dungeon and treat her like a soccer ball at a grade school in Portugal. Fun times, true story. Besides slinging gold Bullion coins, closing small arms deals with cartels in Belize and successfully drilling in Texas infill sites I have been pretty much the Dapper Don of G’s. I was in a high end liquor store in Tuscany last night and a fine woman with Royalty in her beautiful veins winked at me and said it smelled like a fresh Cuban Cigar, end of story!!!”

Michael Porfirio Mason
AKA The Peoples Champ
AKA Your Favorite Player’s Favorite Player
AKA Your Favorite G’s Favorite G
The Guide to Getting More Out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

(Want to see something in The G Manifesto? Send suggestions to thegmanifesto@yahoo.com)

The girls in this video remind me of my crib last Tuesday at 3am……