People always ask me how I prepare for a night out. Well, it is a complicated step-by-step process now that I have to do every night before I go out.
It takes a while, but you will feel 120% everytime when your roll (and I don’t mean Beans, either).
First things first, I have a good day. I go to the boxing gym or get a good workout on. Then, after getting some work done, I go for a good open ocean swim. This helps clear the head no matter what you did the night before. Then I usually swim some underwater laps in the pool. I typically get a little sunset walk on as well to clear the mind. Or I get a second work out at my boxing gym.
When nighttime rolls around, this is what I do:
1. Take a little Vampire Nap. This can be from anywhere to 10 minutes to and hour long depending on my schedule and what I did the night before.
2. I glup a cup of Green Tea. This wakes me up from my nap and clears the gulliver.
3. I go through my stretch routine. I may post this sometime. This is kind of a new thing for me in the last 4 years, but is essential. You have to be loose and flexible on a night out. Also bust out some ab exercises and maybe push ups depending on my workouts that week.
4. I put an Ice Pack on my eyes. This relieves the puffiness from the night before and feels really good. While I have on my Ice Pack, I
5. Shadow Box. I will typically make my crib warmer for a little sweat flow. This gets you real loose. I will Shadow Box to some dope tracks.
James Brown – Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag (Olympia 1967)
6. Foam Roll. Foam Rolling takes all the kinks and knots out of your body. It is pretty amazing. I actually looked at getting into the Foam Roll Biz for a little while, but declined. I decided I didn’t want to be “The Foam Roll Guy”.
One way to stop this from happening is to tell girls after you swoop them, that you “hate” celebrating holidays.
You see, girls are completely brainwashed by society and “love” holidays.
Ever met a girl that didn’t absolutely love the holidays? Yeah, me neither. They don’t exist.
Telling a girl that you “hate” holidays is somewhat like telling a little kid that the Easter Bunny isn’t real; it blows their whole foundation up.
After the shock waves settle, girls start viewing you as “not relationship material”, which is exactly what you want them to think.
And let’s face it, American Holidays are weesh.
Lets’ break a few of them down:
New Year’s Day/Eve – If you really want to party, you don’t need society to tell you when. And it’s better to do it on a day when every dork is partying and The Police State is in full force. New Years Eve very well could be the only night of the year where I won’t go out at night.
Thanksgiving Day – I like turkey as much as the next cat, and I love mashed potatoes like any good half Irish kid does, but I can have a big meal with my family anytime.
Christmas Day – If you really want to give a gift to someone, you can do it August 1st. Or March 12th. Or…you get the broken picture.
April Fool’s Day – Kind of funny. Also, kind of tired.
Chinese New Year – Maybe would be smooth if you were in Hong Kong or Macau or somewhere. In America? Weesh.
Cinco de Mayo – Phony holiday created by the beer companies. And I can’t stand Tequila (drank a whole bottle to the brain as a kid and I still can’t even smell the stuff). I will pass like Jim McMahon.
Halloween – If you are a “Monster” like Cody, everyday is Halloween.
St. Patrick’s Day – Green beer? Come on. And this is from someone who’s Father was born in Northern Ireland. Belfast.
Valentine’s Day – Might be the worst of the bunch.
This all being said, I do dig holidays in foreign countries. I love the week-long Spanish Festivals in Summertime. However, America is such a Police State that outside of Mardi Gras, we don’t have any week-long, all-night party holidays.
“Now a lot of people think this is easy as it looks
Books and books of Game concepts and hooks
Hash Session to session to get thoughts manifested
Stressing and stressing to hit the world with a G blessing”
After spending my summer at the sea in Europe with more shells than Adidas tops, there is one thing I am certain of:
I like my chicks, like my whips, Topless.
Here is how you swoop Topless girls at The Beach (this Data Sheet is 15 years in the making):
First thing you need to do to swoop topless girls at the beach is put yourself in the right time and right place. “The right time” is summertime. “The right place” is east of Eden. Or at least, east of America (South Beach being the exception).
The second thing you need to do is re-condition your mind, so you don’t freeze up like the Hope Diamond around topless girls. I was lucky. I was fortunate enough to do be around topless girls at a young age. At age 14 or something, I spent a summer at the beaches of Spain. It was really like an epiphany for me (and I don’t mean that topless Exotic Dancer from Rick’s Caberet in New Orleans named “Epiphany”, real name Jenny, either). At that point in my life, I had probably only seen a few girls sans clothes. However, after that summer at the beach, I had probably seen 30,000 fly topless girls.
Hell, these days I don’t feel comfortable unless I am surrounded by topless girls. Might have something to do with why I spend some much time in Gentleman’s Clubs. But that’s neither French dime pieces nor E-tabs that look like Reese’s. It’s neither pushing weight nor E-Tab hallucinate.
The easiest way to swoop topless girls at the beach is by being an ill surfer. Especially, when you are talking the Côte de Basque and Northern Spain in general. If you are unlike your humble author, and you never learned to surf, get started. It’s going to take you 10 years to get halfway decent.
Pull into a few grinding, sandy tubes (and I don’t mean bongs either), air it out a little and once you are back on the beach, bust out with the “Bonjour”. “Ce va?” “Quel âge as-tu?” “Tu es très belle.” “Tu habite ici?” “En Vacance?” You know how the Language Game flows.
And for goodness sakes, never ever do this on the beach:
Never ever? Never ever.
Smokes and Hashish
Whoever is behind the “no-smoking laws” (I will give you a hint: it’s Big Pharma) has never sat between two topless fly French girls while smoking cigarettes on La Grande Plage in summer time. Because, if they had, they would make smoking mandatory. Breaking out a pack of Gitanes, Gauloises or Fortunas (in Spain) on the beach is a great opener on gaggle of fly topless girls at the beach.
This move is probably second only to busting out a Hashish Jay.
An expertly, one-handed rolled, Shish Jay has style points off the charts. I first started doing this move in my “salad days”, and when I say salad days, I mean the days when I used to smoke Jays mixed with Afgan Blonde Hashish and Northern Lights Chronic. And I have been doing it ever since.
So get your Spanish Game, French Game, and Italian Game tight. The rest of the girls at the beach; Swiss, Scandinavian, Polish etc, will speak some English.
Enter The Dragon
To swoop mad fly topless girls at the beach, you are going to have to get in some reasonable form of good shape. Now, I am not saying to go overboard, live in the gym and get tribal tattoos like some Arizona Personal Trainer guy ponce. Just make sure you Enter the Dragon on the regular.
Go to the beach every day
Even on days when it’s not super sunny out. If you want to swoop topless girls, you have to meet girls that like the beach. I have met many girls while spocking the waves on un-sunny days. Roll up with a grit, and set the date for the beach when it’s sunny out: Presto! Topless girl.
What to watch out for:
Piggybackers are typically wack American tourists that will try to infiltrate the fly topless girls you have already infiltrated. Many of the Euro beaches have “crews” of girls that chill topless. The bad part is that it is hard to get in. The good part is once you are in, you are in.
Hence, weesh American wack cats that try to “piggyback” your moves. Deal with them like you would any chavala.
Pro surfers can be formidable competition, especially when there is a contest going on. A good thing to do is get to know some of these cats, which thankfully I do. If not, you can always out-Game and out-Rage these cats. And good local Drug Connection can work wonders as well.They might be Pro Surfers, but often times they aren’t Pro International Playboys.
The local crews can definitely put some salt in your Game as they can get pretty salty if you are running through some of the local topless girls. Again, it is good to have some local contacts to keep these guys at bay. You can always focus on the tourist girls to offset this, or come with your own Dope Crew from your local beach in case things get sticky like Haze.
One of my friends recently sent me this and it reminded me of a little story from back in the day:
(Side note: I haven’t really been up on the Most Interesting Man in the World thing, I don’t watch a lot of TV. However, the cat looks exactly like one of my friend’s Fathers who is a heavy Old-School G in his own right.)
We were just rolling (and I don’t mean rollerblading or Beans, either, we were just walking), spitting Game at beach girls, slapping five with Bill Walton and Eek-A-Mouse riding by on bikes (as they often did in those days), and smoking grits. I think we were going to pick up a new stick at Liquid Foundation or something.
Just another day in the life.
All of a sudden, thru the crowd, a weesh rollerblader, out of control, came barreling into my running partner. My running partner, who always had quick reactions, and put up his elbows to “block” the rollerblader just as they collided.
The rollerblader got the worst of the collision by far. He took my droogs elbow on the chin and was KO’d flat on his back.
I just remembered one of the standout moments of this era.
In our shanty apartment complex near the beach, there was a superintendent, lets call him Joe. Joe, having seen first hand all our skulduggery and all the young fly beach girls we were swooping was obviously a huge fan of us.
He would even tell us when girls would come by when we weren’t at home.
One day, after pulling some slob airs, and getting lifted, we rolled back to our crib and Joe said to us, “Hey, guys, two really hot blond girls came by your apartment when you were gone”.
I responded, “Which blond girls?”
Joe shook his head, laughed and said to us, “Enjoy it while you can.”